Well, it’s finally here, the wedding you had previously all been waiting for until you decided you didn’t really care anymore: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They plan to wed in Africa, in a small village outside of Johannesburg, and don’t think of the wedding so much as a traditional wedding but more of a spiritual affirmation. We think of it as Shiloh‘s Partial Debastardization. This will be the third marriage for Jolie, who spent her previous two marriages tattooing the names of her “eternal loves” Billy Bob Thornton and Johnny Lee Miller across her body. Brad, who’s pocking in at a whopping 43-years of age, only has so many years left on his “hottest man alive” moniker (approx. 35 more years left, to be exact), so we’re glad to see he’s finally settling down before the classic “he-used-to-be-so-hot’s” ring in.
And side note: Oprah is actually invited to this one! We’re sure she’ll give the happy couple a (screamed like Oprah) Reallllly Expensiiiive Preseeeent!!!!
Eat the Press has obtained some exclusive still shots (complete with subtitles) of Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto, which opens tonight. Turns out that my perception of what the movie’s about was waaaaaay off. Click here to see for yourself.
If this clip of Patton Oswalt’s set is any indication of the hilarity levels we can expect from Comedy Central’s Last Laugh ’06 on Sunday night, we know where we’ll be eating our KFC Bowls. (Via CC Insider)
I feel bad for our parents.
Because not only did they grow up in a world without cell phones, plasma screens and Nintendo Wii, but they also grew up in a world without an internet. So they never got to experience online crushes, stalking people on MySpace or Googling ex-lovers. They never had to say “thanks for the add” or “why did you block me?” They never wrestled over whether to update their profile status to “In A Relationship” and they never emailed their favorite music bloggers to thank them for a great mp3. But perhaps the saddest thing of all… they never experienced the joy of taking a picture, putting it on the head of an elf and then watching it dance around like a maniac.
Sillyolblair dropped a link to Elf Yourself, OfficeMax’s holiday gift to the world. Go have fun. I totally elf’d the s**t out of Mel Gibson. Check it out here.
Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!
This sort of reminds me of that wedding picture with Michael Jackson, Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and David Gest, except without Prozac.
Prepare to have your minds crushed by the shredding metal sounds of the four most hardcore kids this side of Little Superstar, as they cover Iron Maiden. Not only is she adorable, but that little girl’s head-banging skills make Vince Neil look like Michael Bolton.
Some of you may have already seen this video, but for those of you haven’t: be warned. Depending on your state of mind you’ll either find it hilarious, adorable or terrifying. Right now I’m wavering between the last two.
Link via Collegehumor
West Coast Readers, this one goes out to you: Tori Spelling‘s garage sale, her down-to-earth way of telling America that her Mom really screwed her over, is beginning right now! That’s right, at 9 am, Tori will get out her jewel-encrusted folding tables and lay out some of the finest clothing, accessories and home decor that 1997 had ever seen. Says the ex-trust-funder:
I’m having the sale because we’re moving and my taste has changed.
TRANSLATION: “Sure, 3 years ago a 12-piece chinchilla couch with crocodile feet seemed like a really tasteful way to spice up a living room. But, since my dad died, I realized it’s a little tacky… plus, Ikea’s having a sale.”
I’m a notorious pack rat; I keep everything.
TRANSLATION: “That Peach Pit leather bomber jacket is only $12.99.”
And I wanted to get organized before the baby arrives.
TRANSLATION: “Do you have any idea how much diapers cost?”
So this seemed the perfect time to clean house. It feels good!
TRANSLATION: “Life has never been more dire.”
If you do happen to stop by the sale, send in your purchases/pics to firstname.lastname@example.org.
This photograph, courtesy of TMZ, is too good not to share:
The video plays like a trailer to Terminator 4, Paris Hilton‘s future self coming back to save her young self from dying in the famous Hyde Electrical Fire of 2007. Seriously, take our word and watch these two stumble out of their SUV. In the meantime, we’ll be waiting for Granny’s crotch-shots to surface any minute now.