Itâ€™s Best Night Ever for Thursday, December 7th! Mindy is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including: Scrubs, 30 Rock, The OC, My Name is Earl, and wet hot fun on Survivor: Cook Islands.
You can check out more videos of Mindy HERE.
Of all the pointless self-congratulatory entertainment awards shows we’re subjected to year after year, is there anything more totally unnecessary than The Grammy Awards? Can anyone remember the last time one of those little golden phonographs was handed to someone who legitimately deserved it? And every year, as the Recording Industry hurtles further and further towards pre-historic oblivion, the entire program just gets increasingly sad and ridiculous. It’s like Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard, except a whole industry. Here are this year’s totally meaningless nominations for the only statue that make an MTV Movie Award look like the Nobel Peace Prize. I’ve included this year’s nominees for “Best Record” below, along with the awards I think these artists actually deserve.
Be Without You – Mary J. Blige (Bel Biv Devoe Peer of the Year)
You’re Beautiful – James Blunt (Person Whose Vocal Chords I Most Wish Would Be Ripped Out of the Year)
Not Ready To Make Nice – Dixie Chicks (Non-Retarded Country Singers of the Year)
Crazy – Gnarls Barkley (Good Song Middle America Ruined By Playing Incessantly of the Year)
Put Your Records On – Corinne Bailey Rae (Record of the Year Nominee I’ve Never Heard Of of the Year)
From 2 of the 37 PA’s who assisted the key grip on Date Movie 3 comes Epic Movie, a big dumb Hollywood movie about how big and dumb Hollywood movies are. Really, who goes to see these things? If you’re STILL starving for more hilarious jokes about Snakes on a Plane, Borat, Paris Hilton, Harry Potter, and Chronicles of Narnia, and you ABSOLUTELY LOVE when people get hit in the face with things and fall down, or when Pirates of the Carribean do “funny raps”, then holy moly is this the movie for you! Like watching SNL’s “Lazy Sunday” over and over for an hour and half, Epic Movie is destined to be comedy masterpiece the likes of which we haven’t seen since Van Wilder 3: Date Rape Is Hysterical.
What do you think it is? Vote now!
Dane Cook is the Elvis of mindless crotch-grabbing and back-flipping that gets passed off as stand-up comedy.
I always find it cute when a girl who doesn’t play video games makes her controller *jump* when she wants the character on the screen to jump. It’s adorable. This, on the other hand, is not. It’s terrifying. The woman in this video is either playing a boxing game on Nintendo Wii or fending off an invisible rapist, it’s hard to tell. But either way, it’s hilarious.
Vid via Deadspin
Like Martin Luther hammering his 95 Theses to the door of the Catholic Church, or the inspired midnight memo on ethics by Jerry Maguire, Lindsay Lohan has composed an empassioned manifesto (a “Lohanifesto”, if you will) of soul-crushing truth – a plea for each of us, all of us, to make a fealess and searching inventory of our hearts, and join her Jihad against “those people” in the media. Osama Bin Lohan’s leadership, majesty and eloquence leaves one with a fire burning in the bowels of their stomach (and crotch), and no doubts that such inspiring words have never before been sent wirelessly via Blackberry. Put down that New York Times article about the hoplessness of Iraq, abandon your holiday cheer and charities, cease toiling in the low-paying job you occupy in order to afford the skyrocketing price of gas – STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING! Lindsay Lohan NEEDS US! The Lohanvolution has begun and you’re either with us, or against us – and make no mistake, Paris Hilton, Us Weekly, Page Six, Momma Lohan, the film producer guy who sent that mean letter, and TMZ – you will be first against the wall, for Lindsay is not alone. She’s got Al Gore, the ghost of Howard Hughes, the Clinton Dynasty, Harvey, John Daur, Evan Metroplis, and a growing base of supporters like me on her side and SHE WILL BE HEARD. If you’re interested getting involved, in finally taking up a cause that actually matters, now is the time to join us. Sign The Lohanifesto, have your voice heard, and let’s put an end, once and for all, to the lies and hutfulness. The press conference is forthcoming, but in the meantime, if you or anyone in your family is able and willing to help, contact Jenni Muro, Leslie Sloane, Michael Heller, Jason Sloane, Jason Weinberg or Lohan herself as soon as you can. Try MySpace. The Lohanvolution has begun, is adequate, and will forever be the way of the future. Viva La Lohan!
NOTE: Click image for larger version of the official symbol of the Lohanvolution – bear or wear it with pride!
The finale for America’s Next Top Model descended upon us last night, and, dare I say, it was the most boring finale ever? Perhaps because this year’s finalists were actually literate, making their Cover Girl commercials surprisingly unhilarious. Even Tyra was shockingly less-mongoloidy then usual! This remaining contestants, CariDee, Melrose and Eugena, flashed their best fake smiles for the camera, with a stern Jay Manuel looking on. (Side Note: Is it just us, or is Jay Manuel slowly morphing into Max Headroom?) The girls aren’t bad, though Melrose seemed to be the most natural. When time came to eliminate one of the girls, CariDee was chosen first. Melrose then put on her “Oh no, I’m f**ked” mask on — only to be picked!
The final Walk-Off was nothing short of hilarious. The theme was “ghost brides”, and had all the potential of being really moving — the dresses were literally drop-dead gorgeous — if it wasn’t for the insane instructions the models were given to run around with white paint on their face, screaming like they just found their baby blue-faced in the crib. For a second, we thought we were watching a trailer for Apocalypto. The episode’s “High Drama Moment” came when CariDee accidentally tore Melrose’s dress with her heel, causing the huge-mouthed mainy to throw a crying fit backstage. It was in that moment that we realized Melrose acted like every entitled starving person we had ever met, and that a win for Melrose was a win for tw*ts… But, luckily, it was CariDee! Who reminds us of a young Rebecca Romaijn. The sad news? No Top Model winner has ever actually become a genuine super-modskies… unless they start dating Queen Latifah, we guess.
Were any of you rooting for Melrose?