ICYMI: Fallen Stargazing

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redstone_smaller2.jpgIn the wake of Tom Cruise being firing by Paramount Pictures for his suddenly radical approach to public relations over the past year, and the fallout’s resulting ego battle with his old boss, the biology experts over at UsWeekly took a scientific approach to identifying the physical nature of his development from Hollywood Hunk to Crazy Eyes Cruise. Nature can be scary, kids – and if we’re not careful, the next time Cruise finds his way onto a plane, it might be a whole lot muthaf*ckin’ scarier than Maverick and Iceman’s forbidden love.

ICYMI: Shlock, Stock and Two Smoking Actors

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NBC’s The Office might be our favorite show on television. Perfectly cast, funny, real — hard to find reasons to hate it. Well, NBC may just have found one. Looks like they’re pushing the Pam and Jim romance hardcore. Don’t get us wrong, we love the two of them (John Krasinski, call us!), and obvs cried for days during the season finale (full disclosure: our great aunt died the same night… but still.) However, when NBC tries to shove their adorableness down our throats, like in the following promo, which utlizes the soundtrack from Saving Private Ryan‘s? Let’s just say Ross and Rachel are rolling over in their ruby-lined graves.

THE OFFICE – Pam & Jim Moments – video powered by Metacafe

SIZZLER: Tara Poached By TMZ Celeb Hunters (Again)

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drunktara.jpgTMZ has successfully completed another one of their classic “stalk celebrities who aren’t doing anything out of the ordinary until they have a meltdown, then use that meldown as EXCLUSIVE footage of a celebrity spinning out of control” scenarios, this time picking off easy (and campletely drunk) target Tara Reid outside of Hyde, which is the pretty much the equivalent of hunting slow-moving animals in a petting zoo with a rocket launcher. While it seems kind of cruel and unfair, it’s also fairly hard to feel that sorry for a fading starlet who stops posing for the cameras long enough to slur her way through a minute-long monologue about how unfair it is for paparazzi to harass starlets who are just innocently trying to black out again. By the time she reaches her moving climax of threatening to “kick their f*cking asses”, it’s hard to determine whether you feel more sorry for – or disgusted by – the entire situation (and the culture that’s created it).

LISTEN UP: A Killer Summer

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  • Stereogum has live versions of two new songs from The Killers, recorded at a show in their hometown of Las Vegas, and proving that not everything that happens there stays there.
  • DJ Never Forget helps to make sure you remember all the fun you had this summer by compiling a pretty stellar group of songs and putting them together to create a “summer ending mix” track that you can grab over at Exitfare.
  • The Late Greats have “Magazine Called Sunset”, a rare Yankee Hotel Foxtrox B-Side from Wilco that sounds great, and has a wonderful recipe for lemon meringue pie.
  • *Sixeyes has an exclusive track from an in-store performance by The Mountain Goats. If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of 50 or so music nerds whose hearts just skipped a beat.
  • The Village Indian turns into Indie-ana Jones, heads to Norway, then sends back his discovery of mysterious Scandinavian bands with names like Noxagt.

MyDeathSpace.com… We Think It’s Real.

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mydeathspace.JPGIf morbid things weird you out, prepare to get weirded. MyDeathSpace is a new website offering a place to peruse the MySpace profiles of people who have passed away. At first, we thought it was a joke, and gave the creators credit for the attention grabbing idea. But further perusal has us wondering… is MyDeathSpace real? In a way, it can be a nice (if not sick) way to honor the lives of those passed. Then again, we find the Hot Topic-style buttons they’re selling to be taking an interesting idea into a pretty sick joke. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to update our profile — we’d hate to pass on and leave the world thinking Mrs. Doubtfire is our fave film evs. The stakes have been raised! (Link via Popgadget)

Kathy Najimy Boycotts “The Runs”

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ProjRunwayModel.JPGWhen we first read that Kathy Najimy, actress in such hit movies as Sister Act and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, was boycotting Project Runway due to some insensitive comments about plus-sized women, we assumed it was about Wednesday’s episode, which featured a number of porkers — er, averaged-sized ladies. Turns out, Najimy is incensed over last week’s episode, where Alison‘s model — 6’6″ and 125 pounds tops — was referred to as “zaftig” and “plus-sized.” In her well-put letter written to Bravo Exec Andy Cohen, Najimy accuses host Heidi Klum of helping to perpetuate eating disorders among young girls, pointing out that six out of ten 11-year-old are on diets… with the other four getting their fat-asses kicked in the schoolyard.

We actually discussed these comments with our friends over plates of deep-fried Snickers bars and lard skewers, concluding that Klum had some nerve calling that girl plus-sized. Did she look like an idiot? Def. Did she hulk over the Keeblerish Alison? Obvs. But fat? Waistless? Sigh. We would love to boycott Project Runway… if only it wasn’t as addictive as this cocaine that keeps us thin. Sigh.

ICYMI: “Street Theater” Descends Upon Home Depot

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Improv Everywhere is a group of improvers, comedians, and scallywags, who plan large-scale pranks on unsuspecting New Yorkers. In their latest stunt, 225 of their “undercover agents” entered New York City’s Home Depot — handy when you need to buy fixtures for your 15 square foot apartment — and moved throughout the store in slow motion. At one point, everyone was required to freeze for a whole five minutes, much to the amazement of the other customers. Check out the “highlights reel” below, and click here to see more clips from the day.

(Link via Wired Blog)

While You Were Toplessly Cycling with Lance…

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  • The Cookie Monster will start eating fruit. We somehow think a character named “The Fruit Monster” would give Jerry Falwell a heart attack.
  • Producers of the MTV Video Music Awards are encouraging people to storm the stage, in order to create some “hilarious” viral videos. We’d like to tell you not to fall into their marketing trap, then again we would pay money to see the look on J. Simpson‘s face when some naked dude hops on her back looking for a piggy back ride.
  • In an effort to make the carpet match the curtains, Cameron Diaz dyes her hair black.
  • Pete Doherty has been busted in rehab, giving cocaine to a teenager. IN REHAB! We’re kind of starting to love this crazy, googly-eyed son of a bitch.
  • NYC Officials are begging CBS to reconsider their Survivor: Race Wars concept. In response, CBS flashed a “bloods” sign, and took off on their bicycles.