It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, August 17th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Queer Eye, Haunting, and America’s Got Talent!
So You Think You Can Dance named their winner last night, a weak-chinned doozy named Benji, whose hobbies include soft-shoeing and over-emoting. While the following video of the big finale is a little amateur porny, there are a few things that remain clear: This is the high-point of Benji’s life, this is the high-point of Benji’s Dad’s life (he’s the one carrying the portable LCD ticker that says “All About The Benji’s!”), and most importantly, Celine Dion knows how to read.
Check out this picture of a certain bloated celebrity chef… can you guess who it is? The answer is after the jump!
Most gossip sites wouldn’t care to post this, but we find it so mind-boggling, so beyond our wildest dreams, we couldn’t not post it, nor not use a double negative while doing so. Garry Shandling and Sharon Stone… an item? They were spotted having a quiet and relaxed looking lunch with each other (code for: we’re in love!) In the meantime, we’ve been whistling The Garry Shandling Show theme song since the show went off air — so it’s good to see the guy still palling around.
X17 Online has more photos of a suspiciously glowing Stone. So are they just chums? Or something more?
Harvey Levin of TMZ.com just broke the news of Mel Gibson‘s plea deal on CNN. Here is what he reported:
Gibson pleaded no contest. He’ll be under probation for 3 years. He’ll attend AA for one year, 5 times a week for the first 4.5 months, and 3 times a week for the rest of the year. He has a handful of smallish fines ($1200), and will star in a public service announcement about the hazards of driving under the influence. In addition, his driver’s license has been suspended.
While Mr. Levin said that this penalty was pretty standard for a DUI, dare we say they seem a bit… harsh? How can he film Mayans warring in Mexico is he has to go to AA every night?
The recent arrest of JonBenet Ramsey‘s real killer has brought to light two things: 1. O.J. Simpson‘s quest to find Nicole’s killer is totes “game on”; and 2. While this is certainly a terrible tragedy, we have to think that someone, somewhere, is already working on The JonBenet Ramsey Story. Because, whether you like it or not, little girls strutting around like 45-year-old prosties sells.
So while it may seem too soon, you have to wonder… who is going to play JonBenet? We batted a couple of ideas back and forth (Little Miss Sunshine‘s Abby Breslin, while adorable, doesn’t have the maturity to pull the role off). Then we realized there was a simple, one word answer: Dakota. Dakota Fanning, so desperate for an Oscar that she’s already willing to get raped on tape, would make an excellent JonBenet. Sure, she’s twice JonBenet’s age, but she could easily tie sneakers to her knees and CGI out her calves, like a veritable “Dorf on a Child Murdering Spree.” Or perhaps her younger sister, 8-year-old Elle Fanning, is available. She’s so tiny and easily exploitable!
As far as JonBenet’s killer is concerned, Defamer has this one all bagged up: Dylan Baker.
In all your breathless anticipation for tomorrow’s long-awaited release of Snakes on a Plane, tide yourselves over with this clip, dropped by reader jenparker, of Samuel L. Jackson on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, discussing how such a film could ever come into existence, how he feels about its director and a clip featuring the already-classic “I’m sick of these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf*cking plane” line we’re all so desperate to see.
Don’t forget to drop us off some more of these motherf*cking links so we can put them on the motherf*cking blog!