Who’s getting kicked off of American Idol this week? After so many amazing episodes this season, how is South Park going to wrap it all up tonight? Can House save Omar Epps? Does anybody still watch Alias? Those are just a few of the questions that we’re going to have answered tonight, Wednesday, May 3rd. But here’s my question to you: What are YOU watching? Vote now! (Oh, and for the record, I think Elliot is getting the boot. You’ll see.)
Tom Cruise always sported the same motorcycle jacket and jeans look, designed to convince fans that he was young, dangerous and still really cool to the youngsters.
Well based on last night’s appearance on Dave Letterman and today’s appearance on Regis and Kelly, Tom’s got a new, more mature look. After testing the style in focus groups over several months, his team of experts have carefully designed a new outfit for a more paternal Tom: A slim-fitting suit with shirt, tie and v-neck sweater. Whether it’s grey and black (like last night)or white and blue(like this morning), Tom looks like a dandy, respectable older man and not the danger-zoned hero he was last year.
Sure he was wildly in love, in fact giddy with passion last year, but this year he’s a stately, cane-leaning, Wall Street Journal reading family man. We can’t wait till next year when he debuts his sweater vest, nurses’ shoes and walker.
- Erik Estrada and Loni Anderson will star in a new reality show where they tackle the jobs their famous characters played on TV. Estrada will work as a cop; Anderson an idiot.
- Donna D’Errico has filed for divorce from her husband of 9 years, Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx. Friends say Sixx is excited about the opportunity to sleep with other women again. Openly.
- Tests have revealed that Keith Richards suffered a small brain hemorrhage as a result of falling out of a coconut tree in Fiji. The test results shocked doctors, as they had assumed Richards ran out of blood and was running purely on heroin since the early 1980′s.
- Elma G. “Pem” Farnsworth, the first person to ever appear on television, passed away last week. But don’t worry– she’s been practicing rolling over in her grave for years.
- Teri Hatcher says Ryan Seacrest ended their relationship after their third date. He broke the news to her gently, but ruined the whole thing by signing off with a “Seacrest, Out!”
- Mexican President Vicente Fox will reportedly sign a bill that makes cocaine, heroin, LSD, marijuana, PCP, and opium legal in Mexico. In a related story, Courtney Love is moving to Mexico.
Our drunken, sex-obsessed bros over at College Humor have been hard at work producing a funny TV show featuring in-depth coverage of important issues such as the first passed out guy getting drawn on, proper drinking game etiquette, and of course, lots and lots of boobies.
Check out this new interview with Denise Richards, where the actress reveals how hurt she feels about Heather Locklear’s betrayal (huh?). According to Richards who’s been shacking up with Heather’s husband Richie Sambora, “Heather knows why and when her marriage ended with Richie.” Our guess is it was around the time when this picture came out.
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, May 2nd! Alex Blagg is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including American Idol, House, Blow Out, and Wonder Showzen!
- INEVITABLE CAREER DECISION: Eddie Murphy is all ready to star in Beverly Hills Cop 4: Axl Gets His Pension. (The Sun)
- THE NEXT KABBALAH: JuBu’s… they’re Jewish Buddhists. Not a Jewish clothing line competing with FuBu. (LA Times)
- DEMI MOORE HEADLINE FROM THE FUTURE: Woman, 104, takes man, 33, as husband No. 21 (CNN)
- FALSE START: After telling fans they should “expect something special” for weeks, Janet Jackson disappointed everybody by posting a lame cover of the song “Weekend” on her website. Twenty-four hours later, the track has been taken down and replaced by a note explaining that “Weekend” is not a single and won’t be on her next album. Um. Thanks for that “special” treat, Janet. Maybe you should just stick to just whipping your nipples out. (Mediatakeout)
- ANIMAL DOPPELGANGER: Paris Hilton — Proboscis Monkey (Gallery of the Absurd)
Even after the home video reality show, the autobiographical raps songs and the non stop media coverage, we still have some lingering questions for Kevin Federline. For example who would he have a threesome with? (Jessica Alba) And who would he save from drowning: his son or his wife? (his son) Check out this candid radio interview Kevin did recently where he answers hypothetical questions about his relationship(via ONTD). Listen up as Kevin covers everything from Justin Timberlake to his wife’s pregnancy. He even reveals what he’d title himself on his business card: artist. We call that umemployed, but same thing.
Yesterday millions of people participated in “A Day Without Immigrants”, a massive demonstration to protest the recently proposed US immigration laws that would deny many immigrant workers basic rights and protections. Since this can be a complex issue, we created this helpful mash-up in which a Spanish-speaking Mr. T explains to you these important and topical issues:
If you’re interested in learning more, you can find tons of protest photos and recaps over at Boing Boing.
NOTE: In case our Spanish-speaking readers are confused, we simply wrote sub-titles and edited footage (dropped via reader cdotchen) that actually has nothing to do with immigration. We think it’s funny.
Think you know boobs? Prove it. Take the What’s Her Bra Size? quiz from Zipperfish.com and see how you do. This ridiculous game (with hilarious NSFW audio commentary, by the way) has everybody from Jennifer Aniston to Jennifer Love Hewitt to Jenna Von Oy. Let’s see how much attention you’ve actually paid to the lovely lady lumps of our favorite female celebrities. And Jenna Von Oy.
I was a little disappointed in myself only guessing 71 out of 100 correctly. That makes me a C student. However, since I’m a dude I feel as if I should be graded on a curve. So I’m going from a C to an A… which is actually the exact opposite of what most of the ladies in this quiz have done since moving to Hollywood. Anyway, now it’s your turn. Good luck!