SIZZLER: Tara Poached By TMZ Celeb Hunters (Again)

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drunktara.jpgTMZ has successfully completed another one of their classic “stalk celebrities who aren’t doing anything out of the ordinary until they have a meltdown, then use that meldown as EXCLUSIVE footage of a celebrity spinning out of control” scenarios, this time picking off easy (and campletely drunk) target Tara Reid outside of Hyde, which is the pretty much the equivalent of hunting slow-moving animals in a petting zoo with a rocket launcher. While it seems kind of cruel and unfair, it’s also fairly hard to feel that sorry for a fading starlet who stops posing for the cameras long enough to slur her way through a minute-long monologue about how unfair it is for paparazzi to harass starlets who are just innocently trying to black out again. By the time she reaches her moving climax of threatening to “kick their f*cking asses”, it’s hard to determine whether you feel more sorry for – or disgusted by – the entire situation (and the culture that’s created it).

LISTEN UP: A Killer Summer

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  • Stereogum has live versions of two new songs from The Killers, recorded at a show in their hometown of Las Vegas, and proving that not everything that happens there stays there.
  • DJ Never Forget helps to make sure you remember all the fun you had this summer by compiling a pretty stellar group of songs and putting them together to create a “summer ending mix” track that you can grab over at Exitfare.
  • The Late Greats have “Magazine Called Sunset”, a rare Yankee Hotel Foxtrox B-Side from Wilco that sounds great, and has a wonderful recipe for lemon meringue pie.
  • *Sixeyes has an exclusive track from an in-store performance by The Mountain Goats. If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of 50 or so music nerds whose hearts just skipped a beat.
  • The Village Indian turns into Indie-ana Jones, heads to Norway, then sends back his discovery of mysterious Scandinavian bands with names like Noxagt.

MyDeathSpace.com… We Think It’s Real.

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mydeathspace.JPGIf morbid things weird you out, prepare to get weirded. MyDeathSpace is a new website offering a place to peruse the MySpace profiles of people who have passed away. At first, we thought it was a joke, and gave the creators credit for the attention grabbing idea. But further perusal has us wondering… is MyDeathSpace real? In a way, it can be a nice (if not sick) way to honor the lives of those passed. Then again, we find the Hot Topic-style buttons they’re selling to be taking an interesting idea into a pretty sick joke. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to update our profile — we’d hate to pass on and leave the world thinking Mrs. Doubtfire is our fave film evs. The stakes have been raised! (Link via Popgadget)

Kathy Najimy Boycotts “The Runs”

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ProjRunwayModel.JPGWhen we first read that Kathy Najimy, actress in such hit movies as Sister Act and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, was boycotting Project Runway due to some insensitive comments about plus-sized women, we assumed it was about Wednesday’s episode, which featured a number of porkers — er, averaged-sized ladies. Turns out, Najimy is incensed over last week’s episode, where Alison‘s model — 6’6″ and 125 pounds tops — was referred to as “zaftig” and “plus-sized.” In her well-put letter written to Bravo Exec Andy Cohen, Najimy accuses host Heidi Klum of helping to perpetuate eating disorders among young girls, pointing out that six out of ten 11-year-old are on diets… with the other four getting their fat-asses kicked in the schoolyard.

We actually discussed these comments with our friends over plates of deep-fried Snickers bars and lard skewers, concluding that Klum had some nerve calling that girl plus-sized. Did she look like an idiot? Def. Did she hulk over the Keeblerish Alison? Obvs. But fat? Waistless? Sigh. We would love to boycott Project Runway… if only it wasn’t as addictive as this cocaine that keeps us thin. Sigh.

ICYMI: “Street Theater” Descends Upon Home Depot

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Improv Everywhere is a group of improvers, comedians, and scallywags, who plan large-scale pranks on unsuspecting New Yorkers. In their latest stunt, 225 of their “undercover agents” entered New York City’s Home Depot — handy when you need to buy fixtures for your 15 square foot apartment — and moved throughout the store in slow motion. At one point, everyone was required to freeze for a whole five minutes, much to the amazement of the other customers. Check out the “highlights reel” below, and click here to see more clips from the day.

(Link via Wired Blog)

While You Were Toplessly Cycling with Lance…

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  • The Cookie Monster will start eating fruit. We somehow think a character named “The Fruit Monster” would give Jerry Falwell a heart attack.
  • Producers of the MTV Video Music Awards are encouraging people to storm the stage, in order to create some “hilarious” viral videos. We’d like to tell you not to fall into their marketing trap, then again we would pay money to see the look on J. Simpson‘s face when some naked dude hops on her back looking for a piggy back ride.
  • In an effort to make the carpet match the curtains, Cameron Diaz dyes her hair black.
  • Pete Doherty has been busted in rehab, giving cocaine to a teenager. IN REHAB! We’re kind of starting to love this crazy, googly-eyed son of a bitch.
  • NYC Officials are begging CBS to reconsider their Survivor: Race Wars concept. In response, CBS flashed a “bloods” sign, and took off on their bicycles.

…OF THE DAY

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  • ILL-ADVISED HOLLYWOOD FAD: Made fashionable by trendsetters like Paris and Puffy, making bizarre home videos and posting them on YouTube seems to be the new ironic trucker hat, and just as ridiculous! (MollyGood)
  • RACIST REALITY SHOW RHETORIC: Jeff Probst says producers were careful to avoid casting “white supremicists” or “NAACP members” on the new season of Survivor, which seperates teams according to race. It’s good to know that even reality producers have ethical boundaries they’re unwilling to cross while exploiting harmful stereotypes to boost ratings, but it would have been hilarious watching Carlos Mencia lead “the Beaners”. (Gawker)
  • HACKY PUBLICITY STUNT: How can a rumor about Paris Hilton “hacking” into Lindsay Lohan’s Sidekick, with no resulting evidence, even be considered news? Even if she had the flu, Paris wouldn’t be bright enough to hack a cough. (Us Weekly)
  • THEATRICAL METAPHOR: Rookie thesbian Usher says that Broadway is like monogamy. Why, cause they’re both boring and overrated? (People)
  • HOT CELEB CAUSE: After suffering food poisoning from an airline meal on his way to fight oppression in Darfur, George Clooney has abandoned his efforts in the war-torn nation to focus on the far more critical battle to stop the poor quality of airplane food. His help will be greatly appreciated by the army of hacky stand-up comedians who’ve been championing this cause since the 80′s. (Page Six)

EXCLUSIVE: Tom’s Secret Memo From Viacom!

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cruisesumner.jpgThrough our shady network of operatives here in the Viacom family, BWE has obtained the following copy of a secret personal memo delivered to Tom Cruise by armed agents of Viacom chief Sumner Redstone, responding to what Tom and his partner have been telling the press. We present it to you, unedited and without further comment – full text after the jump.

***URGENT MEMO***
TO BE READ IMMEDIATELY

TO: The Pansy-Ass Nancy Boy In the Kooky Space Cult Who Thinks He Can Insult Sumner F*cking Redstone

FROM: Sumner F*cking Redstone

RE: Your continued existence in the universe.

Listen here, you crackpot little pretty boy. You might think that Hollywood stardom has given you power greater than any other in the world, but I’ve got news for you: grinning and posing your way through a handful of stupid action movies has earned you approximately .01 percent of the unfathomable planetary dominance I’ve been weilding since before you were even born. I’m Sumner F*cking Redstone, and my company Viacom owns more of the people and property on this planet than most of the countries I allow to exist upon it. I hate to break this to you, but there is no God or Allah or Xanadu (or whatever the hell you idiots call your silly little space ruler) – there is only Viacom, Microsoft, Vivendi, Sony, and so on and so forth and Sumner F*cking Redstone.

Read more…