1 dose high-grade LSD + DVD copy of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids + Public Service Annoucement About STDs + Fight Club sex scene + Swedish porno + 1 can of RAID = Gnarls Barkley’s new video for “Gone Daddy Gone”.
- The music monkeys over at Pitchfork put away their pretentious 25 cent words and Brian Eno references long enough to give the new Jet album the greatest review in the history of music criticism. (via Daily Refill)
- Stereogum already has the new Sufjan Stevens track from last weekend’s shows right here in NYC. I love this song, but it’s just not the same without a stage full of winged musicicans.
- A Blog Soup has tracks from NYC buzz band Takka Takka, who will be touring with Clap Your Hands Say Yeah this fall. I wonder whether they’ll have arguments on the bus over who has the silliest name.
- New tunes from The Album Leaf are raked up over at Muzzle of Bees just in time for fall!
- Villains Always Blink has a song from newcomers The Hidden Cameras, and thankfully no one gets dirty sanchezed by an ex Saturday morning TV star.
Let’s take a brief break from the gossip news for the following remedial science lesson in pure Hollywood Darwinism, using Matthew McConaughey as a specimen to study the Origin of the Species, said species being teenage werewolves. Pretty soon he’s going to be ordering kegs of beer by growling and going to red carpet premieres surfing on top of a mini-van driven by Lance “Styles” Armstrong. Evolution is real, folks.
Not since Vanilla Ice was crazy-legging around the stage with four dudes in musclebound ninja turtle costumes has hip-hop seen anything as hardcore as Jay-Z rapping alongside with Gwyneth “Gangsta B*tch” Paltrow.
As huge fans of The Office, we took issue with the cheesy Jim/Pam commercials that aired throughout the summer. Now granted, we love Jim & Pam and care more about their relationship than any relationship we’ve ever been in, but the collection of longing glances over slow piano music was just a little too much for us. Well, it took a little while, but the folks at NBC have righted their wrongs by producing a similar ad for everybody’s real favorite couple, Dwight and Angela (or Dwangela, as the kids call them.) Watch it now.
1. I think my favorite thing about this animated adventure is Elliot the Mule Deer because he sounded wacky and silly like Ashton Kutcher! My second favorite thing about this movie is all the funny shenanigans, and the friendships that result from them – $23 million
2. Ashton Kutcher, Kevin Costner, Coast Guard rescue swimmers. It’s nice to know that Americans are still able to recognize real quality movies when they come along – $17.6 million
3. Maybe if Stevo-O would have taken a “number two” on the red carpet, smeared it all over his face, then rolled around in it, this opus would still be holding strong at “number one” – $14 million
4. Hey “Napoleon Dynamite Guy”: 14:57…14:58…14:59…aaaaand that’s your time. Please grab a commemorative “Vote For Pedro” shirt on your way out – $9.1 million
5. I would pay good money to see Jet Li try to take his fancy-pants Chinese dragon martial arts style down to the All-Valley Tournament and try his luck against Mr. Daniel Larusso’s Miyagi style karate crane kickery. Let’s see who’s “fearless” then – $4.7 million
The folks over at Cracked are erecting a Hall of Fame honoring 80′s movie montages. Actually, I’m not sure if they’re building it, or if there’s just going to be a series of slow motion shots of them building it while an amazingly corny song with a driving guitar riff plays underneath. Either way, it’ll be thoroughly entertaining. Check out this list of the greatest 80′s movie montages, courtesy of Cracked.com. It’s the greatest thing to happen to the montage since that song in Team America.
- George Michael was found slumped over his steering wheel following a marijuana-thon. Well you would have problems too if you spend an entire decade wearing Day-Glo. Those are hard neon demons to get rid of.
- What’s the worst and quickest way to defile someone’s grave? Claim that person was obsessed with The Hoff, in this case, Princess Diana.
- Dare we say it? The Olsens are looking good!
- Matthew McConaughey on the other hand? Not so much.
- Pete Doherty will be following g-fi Kate Moss into the world of fashion design. Apparently he didn’t get the memo that Heroin Chic is sooo Y2K.
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, October 1st! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Everybody Hates Chris, Amazing Race, and Desperate Housewives!
- Rosie O’Donnell tries Cocaine (after we did, yo) on The View and ends up launching snot rockets all over the stage.
- Jared Leto soldiers on with his campaign of retardation by dressing like a gay ninja and continuing to allow words to spill from his mouth.
- Little Superstar continues freakishly dancing his way up our spinal cord, through our our cortex and into our hearts.
- Dustin Diamond (aka “Screech“) may or may not have recorded a freakish sex tape from which we may or may not learn some pretty sweet bonin’ moves.
- Is there any hope for Hollywood Hipster Love? Not if Zach Braff has anything to do with it!
- The Coreys are making their triumphant return to primetime television (well, A&E at least) and we’re Blown Away by our excitement.
- In one moment of stage-frightened red carpet urination, Steve-O managed to shatter our very last shred of hope for the future of humanity. Then he farted and punched himself in the face.