After a year with Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise is back to his famous womanizing ways. The irrepressible bachelor is now going after new mom Angelina Jolie! Reports are in that Cruise called to congratulate the Tomb Raider star on her new baby with whatshisname and then offered an open invitation to the Scientology center when she returns to LA. He even promised to give her a Scientology award for her human rights work, if she’d just stop by the center. While critics say he’s trying to snag Angelina for his cult-like religion, we know Tom better than that. He just wants to get close to the buxom actress and implant a sub-particle micro-chip in her brain so she’ll do and say exactly what he commands. Oh Tom! You dawg, you.
A picture is worth a thousand words, unless it happens to be the first picture of the offspring of two sex symbol movie stars. Then it’s worth 5 million dollars. Now that we’ve learned this important lesson in photographic economics, let’s take a look at all the other images from the week that weren’t dubbed The Most Important Picture In History.
Look, if you’re Paris Hilton, and if every banal moment of your trainwreck of a life is captured by an ever-present pack of hungry paparazzi, and if you’re out publicly shopping in LA, and if you accidentally hit and damage a parked car, don’t just drive off like nothing happened. That’s as illegal as it is idiotic.
Remember, celebrities – when you f*ck up, TMZ will be there to film it. Soooo busted!
Borat making a cameltoe joke about Jessica Simpson; Gnarls Barkley performing “Crazy” with Chewbacca on drums– this is what the MTV Movie Awards are all about. Check out last night’s real breakout performance here:
When they’re not bringing you the funny week after week, our panelists find all sorts of ways to keep themselves busy. BWE favorite David Wain recently joined the folks from Gawker, a colorful cabbie and some other random friends on a late night food tour across Manhattan. So take a few moments to check out our bespectacled buddy stuffing his face with the best late night junk food New York has to offer!
Zach Braff’s old blog on his Garden State website originally began as a way to promote his directorial debut. It then morphed into a platform to promote his buddys’ music and a way to let girlfriend Mandy Moore know that he doesn’t want to marry her. But now that Braff has stepped out of the shadows of Garden State and launched his new site ZachBraff.com, he’s figured out even more ways to use his blog namely: to find unpaid personal assistants. On this video tutorial posted on his site, Braff talks about plans to host a ZachBraff.com short film festival where the winner will get to be his personal assistant for a day. We’re sure he’ll attract some talented aspiring filmmakers who will be eager to learn how a real Hollywood director takes his coffee (with unrefined sugar, you little b*tch!)
Like many people my age, I grew up absolutely loving Weird Al Yankovic. But for whatever reason, I haven’t heard a new Weird Al song in a very long time (I think “Amish Paradise” might have been the last one). I know Al’s still doing his thing and putting out albums, but he’s not been getting nearly the kind of attention he commanded back in the 80′s. In fact, the last time I heard Al mentioned in the press was for his recent campaign to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, which he rightfully deserves. But now it looks like Al is finally getting back to what he does best – making fun of crappy pop music. That’s why I can’t be happier that Al is turning his attention towards James Blunt’s ubiquitously awful schmaltz-fest, “You’re Beautiful”. Check out “You’re Pitiful” for yourself, and keep an eye out for Al’s next album!
You have to give it to Jeremy Piven: who else would start a fight with Stephen Dorff to help drum up some publicity for Entourage? Well, I mean I’d like to fight Stephen Dorff, but who else would do that?
What else is going on this weekend? Well, The World Cup is underway, so put aside your complete disinterest in soccer for a couple of weeks and embrace Team USA. Deadwood starts back up on Sunday, as does Bridezillas on WE. And on VH1 you have new episodes of Best Week Ever (of course), My Fair Brady, Hogan Knows Best, and Supergroup. So what are YOU watching? Vote now!
- Brangelina and co. will return to Malibu this weekend, to resume rubbing their joy in Jennifer Aniston’s face.
- Pete Doherty checked into rehab again, but he claims he thought it was a supermarket.
- Jessica Simpson and P.Diddy have a red carpet scuffle at CFDA Awards, over who’s more three years ago.
- Lindsay Lohan says she never hooked up with a member of the band McFly. But Marty McFly should give her a call
- Right Said Fred are making a comeback. Willing to admit they’re not too sexy.
- Lots of celebrities smoke pot to relax. But mostly they’re just using it as a gateway drug.
- Kelly Osbourne to host UK’s Project Runway. Singing career was just a way to get into to reality show hosting.
- Angelina Jolie has replaced her Bill Bob tattoo with one that honors kids Maddox and Zahara. Like that relationship will last.
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, June 8th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Gameshow Marathon, MTV Movie Awards, and Windfall!