…OF THE (Holy) DAY: A Few More Links To Keep You Busy While Your Jewish Friends Are Breaking Their Fast

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  • TIMEWASTER: The Top 10 Weird Al videos. You know you want to watch them. (SRobbin.com)
  • SURPRISINGLY DEPRESSING NEWS: All 3 Hanson brothers are married. Even the older, ugly one. You, on the other hand, are sleeping alone tonight. MMMbop on that. (Yahoo)
  • WAKEUP CALL: Robin Williams says Mel Gibson’s arrest was a wake-up call. To quit drinking, not hate Jews. (AOL)
  • GRACEFUL EXIT: The single best moment of a pretty enjoyable season premiere of SNL? Brian Williams getting bumped from Weekend Update, of course. (HuffPo)
  • JACKASSES: The theater employees who decided to rename the new Johnny Knoxville movie Jackbutt Two. For real. Jackbutt Two. (TMZ)

…OF THE DAY

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  • BORING BOOB: If you think about it, isn’t Pamela Anderson’s entire life just one big nip-slip? (Splash)
  • SPOONBENDER: Are Lohan and Keanu having some kind of excellent adventure I don’t even begin to want to know anything about? In the words of the latter…woah. (A Socialite’s Life)
  • CASTING CALL: Steve-O is looking for “wussies” he can help “overcome their inhibitions”. So if you’ve ever felt a little sheepish about publicly humiliating yourself by pissing all over your last shred of dignity for a reality show, get those headshots in quick-like! (ONTD)
  • FILANTHRAPIE: Carrie Underwood has joined a literacy campaign for rednecks who can’t read good called “Read Y’all”. Insert your own irony-drenched punchline here. (Yahoo!)
  • WEREWOLF HYGENIE: Actor-Turned-Teen-Wolf Matteo McConaughey is making sure his fangs are good and clean. (MollyGood)
  • COOL SCHOOL: McAwesome University, the only institution of higher learning that offers degrees in “Volton Studies”, “Beer Gluttony” and “Poetic Self-Loathing”. (McAwesome U, via Lindsayism)

ICYMI: Silbling Douchery

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There’s so much wrong with this clip of Nick and Aaron Carter engaging in the wussiest argument I’ve ever seen that I honestly don’t even know where to begin. Aaron’s epileptic-on-ecstasy dance moves? Nick’s effeminate fightin’ words? Two blonde-tipped brothers arguing over PARIS F*CKING HILTON!?! This isn’t even television, it’s S&M for your eyes. (Language NSFW)

ICYMI: Baby Prank’d!

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In honor of Ashton’s Punk’ing of America at the Box Office this weekend, we thought it might be nice to share this little homage to Punk’d, in which pranks are pulled on people a little smarter than celebrities – that’s right, babies! This hilarious clip was created by comedy mastermind Jon Benjamin (co-creator, along with David Cross, of Comedy Central’s forthcoming series Freakshow) and features the acting talents of one my personal favorite comedians, Jon Glaser.

LISTEN UP: The Greatest Album Review Ever

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  • The music monkeys over at Pitchfork put away their pretentious 25 cent words and Brian Eno references long enough to give the new Jet album the greatest review in the history of music criticism. (via Daily Refill)
  • Stereogum already has the new Sufjan Stevens track from last weekend’s shows right here in NYC. I love this song, but it’s just not the same without a stage full of winged musicicans.
  • A Blog Soup has tracks from NYC buzz band Takka Takka, who will be touring with Clap Your Hands Say Yeah this fall. I wonder whether they’ll have arguments on the bus over who has the silliest name.
  • New tunes from The Album Leaf are raked up over at Muzzle of Bees just in time for fall!
  • Villains Always Blink has a song from newcomers The Hidden Cameras, and thankfully no one gets dirty sanchezed by an ex Saturday morning TV star.

SIMI-LEBRITIES: Survival of the Fittest

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Let’s take a brief break from the gossip news for the following remedial science lesson in pure Hollywood Darwinism, using Matthew McConaughey as a specimen to study the Origin of the Species, said species being teenage werewolves. Pretty soon he’s going to be ordering kegs of beer by growling and going to red carpet premieres surfing on top of a mini-van driven by Lance “Styles” Armstrong. Evolution is real, folks.

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