The Office Meets Your Phone: Listen to Dwight’s Voicemail!

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Dwight.JPGYesterday, the marketing geniuses at NBC released two separate DVD packages of The Office: Season 2 (worth every cent), and a special edition The Office: Severance Package, which includes both Seasons 1 and 2, as well as some Dunder Mifflin promotional desk items (like… post-it notes). It always bothers us when media congloms try to milk the American public out of all their money with these “special edition” packages, like re-releasing movies with “extra” bonus footage. We already owned Season 1 — and while we would love to sign away our souls with a shiny new Dunder Mifflin pen, we couldn’t bring ourselves to purchase it.

Especially when the best part of the “Severance Package” set is something that can be shared with people for free! When your boss isn’t looking, pick-up your phone and call Dwight Schrute at 1-(800)-984-DMPC (or 3672 for the tarded). We promise: It’s worth it.

And if you don’t plan on shelling out the cash for any of the DVD’s? (Big mistake)? You can catch the blooper reel online – Part I and Part II. Still want more?! Dwight’s blog here. 8 more days til season 3!

CAPTION THIS: 700 Club to Mars

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Fashion Week pairs up a lot of random celebs, but this shot of Jesus Freak Baldwin and Sad Little Leto is particularly baffling. Leave your thoughts and captions in the comments.

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ICYMI: LonelyGirl Knew About 9/11

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Last week, YouTube users learned that their beloved LonelyGirl15 was actually an actress from New Zealand (and if you have no clue what I’m talking about, read about it here.) Fans who thought they really “knew” LonelyGirl were shocked that they could be deceived by such an innocent, trusting woman. Well, as it turns out LonelyGirl was more than just part of a “new art form”… much, much more.

Wow. I just didn’t see this one coming, did you?

While You Were Smoking Cigars With K-Fed

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  • Britney Spears did, in fact, give birth to a baby boy early Tuesday morning. Britney is ecstatic about the new addition to the family, and looks forward to trying to maim him in the near future.
  • Russell Crowe is holding a tribute concert for fellow Aussie and friend Steve Irwin. Paul Hogan, Nicole Kidman and Yahoo Serious are expected to attend, for obvious reasons.
  • Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay was arrested for fighting with paparazzi outside a nightclub. Reports have yet to indicate whether there were any real celebrities inside.
  • Axl Rose has been delaying the release of Chinese Democracy for years because he doesn’t want to release a bad album. He prefered to release a bad album with a lot of hype instead.
  • Joe Francis, creator of Girls Gone Wild, has been fined $2.1 million for failing to document the ages of the women in his videos. He couldn’t believe that the court doesn’t consider “If there’s grass on the field, Play Ball!” a valid system.

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, September 12th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, September 12th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Big Brother, Dancing With the Stars, and Nip/Tuck!

…OF THE DAY

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  • GEEK NEWS: Now you can stop downloading movies illegally from torrent sites, and pay 14 bucks for them on iTunes. Yay! (Apple)
  • DARTH KIEFER: Celebrated character actor James Cromwell joins the cast of 24 as Jack Bauer’s father. Jack’s daddy issues should make the show even more fast-paced. (TV Squad)
  • PUNK’D DRUNK: Richard Branson, once again showing us all exactly why he’s the “rebel billionaire”, pulled a pretty hilarious prank on Paris Hilton at his son’s recent birthday party. (MSNBC)
  • PREVIEW TO YOUR REVULSION: Now you can see an exclusive sneak-peak clip of Zach Braff’s latest navel-gazing pretentiousness in The Last Kiss. I recommed watching it with Jared Leto’s whiny music playing along in the background! (ComingSoon)
  • PERV PARTROL: Some dude put up a fake ad pretending to be a woman soliciting sex on Craigslist, then posted all 150+ responses – including real pictures, names and contact info – on his blog, which has now been seen by hundreds of thousands of people. Ouch. (BoingBoing)

BWE SPORTS: Third & Long

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football1.jpgIt’s finally here. After approximately 400 features on Terrell Owens’ hamstring, 511 spotlight pieces on the essence of the Manning brothers, and 3.5 million advertisements extolling the virtues of Monday Night Football on ESPN, the NFL season has arrived.

Clearly, this is good news. And with Unsolved Mysteries being cancelled by Lifetime this fall, God knows I needed some good news. Let’s take a look at three of the more interesting happenings this week; Week 1 of the 2006 NFL season.

Maimed quarterbacks make their return with emotional scars as big as their physical ones

Carson Palmer’s knee didn’t explode, Chad Pennington’s shoulder didn’t take a hit and shoot into orbit, and Duante Culpepper’s ligaments didn’t spontaneously burst into flames … yet. All good news for the millions out there who own these guys in fantasy football leagues. The most frustrating thing about fantasy football is that marquee names like the ones listed above will go down every year, and all you can do is grit your teeth and hope that some clearly inferior player is on the waiver wire to fill the gaping wound in your starting lineup. This is akin to getting dumped by Jessica and then being forced to date Ashlee (before the plastic surgery.) What I’m trying to get at is, it ain’t pretty.

Read more…

Daniel Smith’s Death As Tragically Unnatural As His Life

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1109_annanicole_g.jpgAs we’ve already established, the untimely death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son Daniel is a terrible tragedy, and our sympathy goes out to all those who knew and loved him. But now that those sensationalists over at TMZ are reporting that his death was actually of “unnatural causes”, before anyone rushes to any sort of judgement, just remember one thing: if Anna Nicole was your mom, you’d probably wanna get high now and then, too.

Please, God, Say This Is Not Real

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While you guys are in a head-to-head debate over whether LiLo’s Stitch is real or not, this picture of Kate Hudson lands in our inbox. Ye GADS, please tell us this is doctored. It kind of reminds us of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry’s girlfriend walks around the house naked… and all is fine until she tries to open a pickle jar. Two words: One piece. LA Translation: Tumtum Tucky Time.