In front of me I have a brand new, recently purchased, bright and shiny copy of Kevin Federline’s debut rap album Playing With Fire. The disc is 49:32 long, contains 13 listed tracks plus a bonus track titled “Middle Finger”, and it was all mine for the low low price of $13.99 at the local Virgin Megastore. Those are all facts and they cannot be argued.
This morning when I woke up I decided I was going to do something daring. I decided I was going to listen to Playing With Fire from beginning to end, no breaks, and keep a running diary throughout the entire thing. Co-workers called this decision “brave”, “terrifying”, and “absoutely f**king retarded.” I agree with them all. But I’m going to do it because somebody has to. And I’m going to do it with an open mind, too, because honestly; it can’t be that bad, can it? Can it? There’s only one way to find out. Wish me luck.
4:00:12 - “Grandpa, grandpa, can you tell me a story about what it was like when you were young?” That’s how it all begins, hinting that this album (or at least this song) actually comes FROM THE FUTURE! Deep! I’m crossing my fingers that music from the future doesn’t completely suck.
4:02:30 - So far in the first 2:30 I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that Kevin doesn’t give a f**k what we all think, the media tends to enjoy f**king with him and he has a f**king black gat in his backpack. Or a black cat. Either way, he’s dangerous. I think.
Caption This! brought to you by Stranger Than Fiction, in theaters November 10th.
This is pretty much the greatest pumpkin we’ve ever seen. Well other than The Great Pumpkin, of course. Leave your thoughts and captions in the comments. (via CC Insider)
We know we’re bordering on oversaturation here, but we wouldn’t feel right knowing you’re going about Diabetes Day having not seen Borat‘s appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman last night. Here’s a highlights reel, including a h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s. clip from the movie coming out THIS FRIDAY!
Stuck at work without a costume? Need something quick and easy for that Halloween party tonight? Here are a couple of last minute ideas that can easily incorporate your business attire, dressing up as versions of your favorite CNN anchors.
- Comb baby powder through your hair, staple discount vouchers from the Sunday paper all over yourself, perfect your steely gaze, and go as Anderson Coupon.
- Steal some tin foil from the communal kitchen, fashion them into antlers, comb that beard, and magically transform into Wolf Blitzen.
- Unscrew a toilet seat from a stall, put it around your head, and poof! Loo Dobbs.
- What’s black and white and business-suited all over? Jeanne Moos.
- Fro that hair up, adopt an unplaceable accent, tighten up that hobo’s bindle, paint on a frown, and impress your friends when you reveal that you’re Christiane Aman-Poor. (We feel your booing and we’re hurt.)
Any other ideas?
Nsgladstone dropped this list of creepy celebrities courtesy of the folks at AOL. While we agree with a couple of them (come on, who’s not a little creeped out by Jeff Goldblum?) we take issue with their inclusion of Dakota Fanning. So what if she’s a 12-year-old girl who talks like an 45-year-old woman and has the same blank stare as a recovering heroin addict waist deep in methodone? That’s TOTALLY normal. Everybody’s a little bit quirky when they’re that age. Right?
Head over to AOL Comedy to check out their list and nominate people who think you should be included. I’ve already nominated Blagg. That dude creeps the hell out of me.
Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!
Bastion of TruthÂ© The National Enquirer is pointing a golden finger of distrust at the woman they claim broke up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe: 24-year-old Australian actress Abbie Cornish (as in “Game Hen” and “Promiscuous Hussy”.) Cornish and Phillipe (guilt-ridden faces seen left) just wrapped up the movie Stop Loss together, and were seen “making out” in an Austin, TX restaurant on the last day of filming. The ess hit the eff when Reese discovered secret messages of filth on her husband’s Blackberry the night of the Flags of Our Fathers premiere. Now, bastard-face himself is no longer welcome in the home he shared with his wife.
Here’s what we wonder: Seeing as Reese is currently Hollywood’s highest paid actress ($29 million for her next film!), will Ryan get half?
We know the Jared Leto vs. Elijah Wood story is past its expiration date (due in no small part to our own relentless shock and awe campaign against Catalano), but we simply couldn’t resist the temptation to have some fun with these exclusive photos of the incident, which we found via our good friend Brooklyn Vegan. Enjoy!
Metadish has a few last minute Halloween costumes for you ladies out there who still can’t decide what to dress up as tonight. Just be warned: if you follow any of their suggestions you’re going to need immediate access to a bunch of cocaine, cartons of cigarettes and a really bad plastic surgeon.
Oh, and you might as well book your rehab stint now. You know, to save some time.
Check out Metadish’s last minute costumes here.
Things we never realized the original Thriller video was missing: Bhangra dancing, shiny red patent leather, a gaggle of Indians, and overzealous pelvic thrusting. So for our next Halloween inspired clip-o-lantern, we would like to reintroduce you to a clip we posted a little while back, Indian Thriller.