While You Were Cancelling That Pesky Adoption…

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Best of the Best Week Ever: World Wrestling Federline

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  • Kevin Federline gets body-slammed on TV, and the world experiences it’s first simultaneous orgasm.
  • The latest season of Project Runway finally gets sewn up, leaving us with nothing to obsess over other than the far less-fabulous culinists of Top Chef.
  • Speaking of, The Borat Movie just can’t come soon enough.
  • We introduce “Show and Tell”, our new feature wherein you can find all the ridiculous celeb photos you’re looking for in one convenient slide show.
  • So much douche, yet only so many days.

UsWeekly Exclusive: Watch Man Grow Beard

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beard.JPGUsing space age technology, a little bit of magic, and some sort of program involving something called “morphing”, the folks at UsWeekly were able to re-create the unthinkable. Evolution? No. The splitting of an atom? No… better.

If you click here you can watch Matthew McConaughey go from clean shaven to full-blown beard in a matter of SECONDS. I S**T YOU NOT!

Since discovering this marvel of modern technology, I’ve watched it approximately 1,100 times. I’m still blown away. How did they go from clean-shaven Matt to bearded Matt in a matter of SECONDS? It’s a mystery. One that will probably never be solved. Thank you UsWeekly. Thank you for going where no entertainment site has gone before.

Why Do We Do This To Ourselves?

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Remember in the early 90′s, when we would torture ourselves with incredibly bitter and painful sour candies, like Warheads? Relive the nostaligia with this short film from 1992, called Sour Death Balls. We dare you to watch it without cringing.

(Link via Video Dog)

Shiloh Hello! The Messiah Emerges!

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JOLIEVOIGHT1.JPGIt’s been months since we’ve last laid or pathetic little eyes on the glorious merging of cells that is Shiloh Pitt. But thank ye gods, we finally got another peek at this mythical creature. And we gotta say — this lil’ lady has definitely inherited some of the good looks from her mother’s side!

OK, clearly this is not lil’ Shiloh (the original picture is after the jump), rather Jolie papa Jon Voight, who has always kind of reminded us of a shiny red-faced baby. And, assuming Angelina Jolie reads this blog, we would like to think that one of our images could possibly be disturbing enough to worm its way into one of her nightmares.

In other news, are the Pitts moving to D.C.? Us Magazine has the scoop. Oh, and the original picture of the gorgeous Shiloh is after the jump.

Read more…

YOUTUBULAR: How Can I Tell If I’m Really In Love?

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Defamer directed us over to this incredible video straight out of the 80′s starring Jason Bateman, Justine Bateman, and the immortal Ted Danson. With unintentional hilarity and the same special effects as my Bar Mitzvah video in 1993, this is truly a Youtubular event. Enjoy… and learn.

Update: The video originally came from Fast Hugs.

Homer Simpson Makes $67,000 a Year?!

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PATRICKDEMPSEY.JPGThe AOL Salary Center has compiled a list of Real-Life Salaries of Popular TV Characters, documenting the hypothetical income of some fake tv jobs. A few surprises: Dr. McDreamy is more like Dr. HeProvidesForMeGirrrrrl, earning a whopping $386,575 per year!

Some of the results baffle us. How on earth does a stay-at-home Mom, in this case Alison Dubois on Medium, earn $135,000 a year? Is there some sort of underground Ebay scam happening on the side? And how am I supposed to believe that Ugly Betty earns almost $50,000 a year, when most everyone knows that assistants in the magazine/fashion world are paid somewhere around $20,000 and usually live off of insanely well-endowed trust funds or extremely generous parents?

Take a look at the list for yourself
, and tell us if we’re crazy, or if these numbers actually add up.