CAPTION THIS! The George W. BushPlug

by

      bushplug.JPG

From the website: Because he wants to find out as much about you as possible and to get inside your most personal business, we figured we would offer you the opportunity to show him where the sun don’t shine.

You can buy the Bushplug here. And thanks to Fleshbot… for oh so many reasons. Leave your Captions in the Comments now.

FIZZLER: Jen & Vince Are Over Says Encyclopedia Britannica!

by

JENVINCE.JPGAnother day, another likely false break-up rumor started by second-tier gossip rag. Today’s Mad Libs style celebrity loneliness news is thanks to the magazine preferred by monocled gents of the highest regiment, Life & Style, which reports that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are no longer an item. Says one highly-suspect “pal”, “They’ve tried taking breaks before, so this time she went one step further — and ended it!” Funny how this “pal” sounds “exactly” like every other fake “news source” in tabloid “history!” says one insider.

Strangely enough, we would be willing to believe that these two have broken up (prove us wrong L&S), but just when you start to believe the hype, the tabs go one step too far. In this case, that Jennifer Aniston actually has her sights set on Matthew McConaughey. Another “friend” rats her out: “Jen has a mad crush on Matthew.” Hold on — let’s forget about Janiston’s love life for a second — girl, it sounds like you need better friends. “Mad crush”? Whose Myspace blog did they steal that from? Mine? Oh, right. Text me!

Read the entire Press Release after the jump.

Read more…

Disney’s Most Bizarre Promotion Ever

by

mermaid.jpgI know that Disney’s two-disc special edition of the 1989 film The Little Mermaid is coming out on DVD Tuesday (don’t ask me why I know this, I just do), but I think the folks at Disney may be taking this viral marketing campaign a little too far.

Milagros, whose name means “miracles” in Spanish, was born with a rare congenital defect known as sirenomelia, or “mermaid syndrome,” which left her legs connected from the heels to her groin. But just over two weeks after an operation to separate her legs she took her first unaided steps across the room.

Some people may say that this story showing up on Drudge Report today is nothing but a coincidence. But come on people, this is Disney. If they have to pay a woman to give birth to a mermaid baby only to have its legs separated a week before the release of a 2-disc special edition DVD, dammit, they’re going to do it.

ICYMI: The Epic Tale of Gwammi Mufasta

by

gwammi2.JPGWe must admit, we’re pretty impressed with the hooligans over at CollegeHumor, who somehow managed to stay sober long enough to create this hilarious little short film about the tragic nature of global human communication in the Internet age. Anyone who’s ever been skeptical about e-mails from African attorneys in search of someone willing to accept millions of dollars should really watch this.

ICYMI: Prison Break Can Really Do Things to a Man

by

Wow. Wentworth Miller has deservedly risen to the top of TV’s hottest men thanks to his starring role on the show Prison Break. But take a look at this clip from Popular a few years ago, where Wenty was slightly miscast as an effeminate dance instructor replete with a “Manazon” track jacket. Watching the clip, it’s nice to know that he’d be open to dropping the soap in the prison shower if the script called for it.

(Link via ONTD!)

While You Were Putting The ‘Hump’ In Hump Day

by

    parisdrunk.jpg
  • Football superstar Terrell Owens reportedly attempted suicide by overdosing on pain medication. To find out what this means for your fantasy team, check out Eric Karabell’s emergency live ESPN.com chat at noon.
  • The drummer of Papa Roach has incited a feud with the bassist of Fall Out Boy. Authorities (and fans of good music) are hoping it reaches a bloody conclusion sooner rather than later.
  • Lawyer Howard K. Stern has revealed he’s the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. And as her lawyer, he’s entitled to 11.2% of that baby, which he plans on collecting ASAP.
  • Paris Hilton is facing drunk driving charges stemming from her arrest on September 7. The LAPD wants to prove the point that celebrities are not above the law… and they plan on continuing to make that point until they let her off with nothing but a warning.
  • Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin always felt he would die early. He started feeling that way when he noticed his job description included the words “hunting” and “crocodiles”.

SIZZLER: The Dirty Screech

by

screech3.jpgI’m not sure what Mr. Belding would have to say about this report of an alleged sex tape that graphically depicts Dustin Diamond (known better as Saved By the Bell’s Screech) engaging in 3-way sex with two women and pulling some pretty disgusting moves out of his bag of tricks, inluding the dreaded “Dirty Sanchez”. These kinds of antics are to be expected from the likes of Zach Morris or Jesse Spano (ever see Showgirls?), and maybe even AC Slater (if the threesome were with two other dudes) – but Screech!?! What more of an indictment could our culture receive than the filmed sex acts of a goofy-but-likeable Bayside Tiger? Once the tape finds its inevitable home on the Internets, we’re all going to have to ask ourselves a very serious – and very important – question: will we watch it? Could our fragile psyches really handle the image of Screech giving some groupie (please god let it not be Paris Hilton) a Dirty Sanchez? Such devastating philosophical questions should not even be posed at this early morning hour.

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, September 26th

by

It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, September 26th! Alan Noah is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Dancing With The Stars, Law & Order, and Nip/Tuck!

…OF THE DAY

by

EM.jpg

  • NOT-SO-GOOD THING: Martha Stewart says she’d like to have Eminem as a guest on her show. Maybe he could even share his famous recipe for Wife-Beaten Eggs! (Yahoo! News)
  • SWEET, SWEET REVENGE: Limewire is turning the tables and suing the RIAA. Download THAT, b*tches! (Consumerist)
  • COMING FROM BEHIND: Clay Aiken bumps Justin Timberlake from the top…of the charts! (Idolator)
  • SNAPPY COMEBACK: Personally responding to the people behind “RachelRaySux.com” in an Esquire column, Rachel Ray threatens to start a site of her own called “you know what YOU suck.com”. (Esquire)
  • IMPROVEMENT TO HBO-RING: This parody of Entourage, entitled Group of Guys, is funnier than even Ari’s most well-timed racial/homophobic slurs. (MollyGood)