1. Hey, now that Heavyhands Hackis has his shiny new Oscars for subtly illuminating the complexities of contemporary urban race relations in Crash, maybe you geniuses in the Academy might want to think about throwing one of those statues Marty Scorsese’s way – $27 million
2. You’d think that with all the scary shit going on in the news right now, moviegoers would just save their ten bucks, skip Homicidal Maniac Killers 29, and get the bejeezus scared out of them from the comfort of their living room. FoxNews has terror On Demand – $19.1 million
3. Kids sure are suckers – $16 million
4. “Shitty movie with a hacky comedian and a fame-whoring tabloid queen that I don’t want to see” of the month – $11.8 million
5. I said it after 3000 Miles to Graceland, Dragonfly, Open Range, The Upside of Anger, and Rumor Has It…, and I’ll say it again: Kevin Costner is BACK! – $9.6 million
Kevin Federline– not satisfied with just being a bad rapper and bad husband, has added “bad actor” to his resume (note: Just pretend K-Fed has a resume. We know it’s unlikely… so just pretend). Kevin makes his acting debut on CSI this Thursday, and here’s a clip of his sure-to-be-Emmy-nominated performance.
We’re shocked he’s taking on the role of an annoying, unlikable, white homeboy. The man has mad acting skillz (with a ‘z’), yo.
To announce of the LONG overdue availability of The State on iTunes, the cast members (well, most of them, including our very own David Wain!) of MTV’s seminal sketch comedy show got back together to film this sketch-omercial that left us laughing and hysterically while secretly wondering whether Michael Ian Black was too busy sharing his dry observations on the 72 Craziest Wacky Celebrity Sightings In Guatemala to join his old friends.
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, October 8th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Everybody Hates Chris, Amazing Race and Desperate Housewives!
And don’t forget, our very own Paul F. Tompkins hit up the Wired NextFest this week. Tune into Best Week Ever tonight at 11 to find out what the future’s gonna be like. If you’re in the mood to knock back a few while watching, play the BWE drinking game and drink every time there’s some sort of violence. Slapping, kicking, hitting, even threats of violence. Enjoy the show!
I’m gonna go ahead an admit this: I can’t stand John Mayer the Musician, but I’m starting to become something of a fan of John Mayer the Funny Guy/Blogger. In his latest post, John discovers MyHeritage, an amusing website on which users can have their picture analyzed by a special facial recognition technology, then told which celebrities they most resemble. While he’s not breaking any news (I blogged about MyHeritage all the way back in April and was shocked to discover that I look like Marky-Mark), John has a pretty hilarious revelation: he bears a 72% resemblance to Academy Award-winner Jessica Lange, but only a 62% resemblance to John Mayer the Musician. Crazy computers!
The Facts of Life has never shied away from the hard issues. Just when Mrs. Garrett and the gang seem to be leading the normal boarding school life, someone needs an emergency abortion or something of the like. We remember one episode, where Jo wrote an article about a teacher she hated, accusing him of being at a coke party/cokehead. The teacher resigns, even though Jo fesses up, and at the end of the episode Jo openly weeps: “But Mr. Henderson!” she says, “This isn’t fair! It’s my fault. Please, let me do something!” Mr. Henderson replies. “You want to do something? Then help me pack,” spins round and walks out of the room, leaving Jo a tearful mess. Silence. And then? Yyyyyyyyou take the good! You take the bad! You take them both! And then you have! The Facts of Life! (tinkling of the keys) The Facts of Life!
Relive another fantastic drug related scene, courtesy of Defamer, where Tootie and Natalie bring Mrs. Garrett a gift. More specifically, a bong. If this clip were an actor, it would be Brill Paxton.
Wynona Judd. The pink lipstick adds a little youthful flair to the robust 43-year-old, and her shiny new brunette locks draw attention to her round-yet-beautiful face. We know you’ve had your ups and downs Wynny, but chins up, eh? You’re not looking half bad!
Myello? Hi. Yeah, the Wynona post… ok, right, uh-huh… wait, that’s not Wynona Judd? That’s Lindsay Lohan?! Holy f***ing sh**. F*** me up the ***** with a ****en ***. What happened to her?! Oh I. I’ve gotta go think about things. This just isn’t right. Ok. Yeah, call me when you get to Applebee’s. Cool, bye.
Ed. Note: We’ll still FedEx Wynony her award, cause upon further research, she really isn’t looking half bad. Lindsay, on the other hand, needs to start banging her Poland Springs delivery man, because this is inexcusable.