ICYMI: Absolut Abdul

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Hat tip to our homeys over at Defamer who uncovered this TiVo’d Dave-O’d clip from the Emmys after-show, in which Paula Abdul, clearly drowning in vodka and painkillers, does what she does best – drunkenly slurs about stuff on national television.

PROPPED: Corky’s Dryfire

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Fair warning: We debated posting this video, dropped by meatball, for a bit. It’s… well… beyond words? In the end, we decided that this clip of Corky from Life Goes On dancing to Public Enemy‘s “Fight the Power” was inspiring, nothing more, just inspiring. Really makes you realize that no physical or mental deformity will keep the white man down. Have other Corky clips you want to share? Drop them now!

ICYMI: The Freewheelin’ Scarlett Johansson

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scarlett-johansson-bob-dylan-240x180-0806.jpgThe just-released music video for “When the Deal Goes Down”, the first single from Bob Dylan’s new album Modern Times, features the visual enhancement of none other than Scarlett Johansson. Shot by director Bennett Miller (Capote) to look like old home movies, the video is pretty much a love letter to Scarlett’s beauty, with scenes of her napping on a porch swing, kissing a walrus, and other stuff like that. Check it out!

PHOTOSHOP CONTEST: Jessica Gives A Sign

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jessica one.JPGJessica Simpson can’t sing. No, that’s not my opinion- it’s the doctor’s orders after they discovered a bruise on her vocal cord. Unfortunately for Jessica, the timing couldn’t be worse. Her new album A Public Affair dropped yesterday, as did rumors that Jess is dating John Mayer. The woman probably has a lot to say.

What she has to say, though, is up to you. What do you think Jessica needs to get off her (enormous) chest?

Email us at contests@bwe.tv and we’ll feature our favorite ones here. Here’s the original, the blank one, as well as a few more examples to get you started. Have fun.

jessica voice.jpgjessica blank1.JPGjessica three.JPGjessica four.JPGjessica two.JPG

While You Were Tracking Ernesto, Your Sketchy Neighbor…

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Best Night Ever: Tuesday, August 29th!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, August 29th! Alan Noah is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Celebrity Duets, Rockstar: Supernova, and Million Dollar Listings!

…Of The Day

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  • PROTEST SONG: It’s about time we start protesting certain things in this world. Like Paris. (The OK Go Away Paris Hilton Aparatus)
  • LIE: Want to impress your friends by saying you went to Justin Timberlake’s post-VMA concert, but don’t actually want to sit through Justin Timberlake’s post-VMA concert? Boy, do we have the website for you. (Stereogum)
  • WHAT’S THAT SMELL?: It’s Lindsay Lohan in a vial bottle! (Egotastic)
  • BOOBYLICIOUS MOMENT: Beyonce let it all hang out! And by ‘all’, we mean 1/18th of her areola. Gentlemen, start your engines! (Faded Youth)
  • LIFE LESSON: Foxy Brown learned that once you plead guilty, you can’t exactly go back and say “Uh, just kidding.” (Gothamist)

BWE Tuesday Afternoon Movie!

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It’s the BWE Tuesday Afternoon Movie for August 29th! Every Tuesday, we’ll post a short film from our panelists, friends, and user submissions. Want to submit a movie? Send your short films and sketches to films@bwe.tv.

This week, comedian Dave Hill takes us inside a movement studio for the stars. Enjoy!

(If it seems familiar, we did post this movie several months ago, but it got buried at the end of a Film Festival post, and it’s so weridly likeable, we had to bring it back!)

Worst Big Brother Prize Ever

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DOOGIEHOWSER.JPGFor those of you who don’t watch Big Brother, allow me to break it down for you. A group of attention starved people/d-bags are picked to live in a house which they are not allowed to leave for months at a time, and have their lives taped, all while dining on peanut butter, jelly, and the blood of their competitors. The last one remaining wil win a million dollars (i.e. “chump change”). During their imprisonment, host Julie Chen will force these people to compete in random challenges that can reap big benefits, like an edible dinner, a car, or in tonight’s case…

A VISIT FROM DOOGIE HOWSER, M.D. Yes, Neil Patrick Harris will be making a special visit to the Big Brother house tonight, as part of a special “Christmas in August” reward. Christmas in August, huh? Well, if this is Christmas, then tell Santa to call it a life. Because unless we need an emergency teenage heimlich maneuver, or a 911 pimple popped, or can’t unlock our DOT-Matrix diary, we have zero interest in this so called “prize.” Of course, we’re sure this has nothing at all to do with Harris’ CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother, premiering on Monday, September 4, 2006, at 8:30 Eastern, 9:30 Central. Nothing at all.

We would also like to point out that it’s been years since anyone’s thrown a bone to Vinnie. We’re just saying.

Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson!

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Today is Michael Jackson‘s 48th Birthday, and we couldn’t be more excited! We’re so excited, in fact, we put together this little card for MJ, which will be attached to our various gifts, and carrierer pigeoned to the “undisclosed location” where Michael is celebrating. Check out our card, and move your mouse over it to discover what gifts he has in store, as well as a special BWE message.

Leave all your birthday wishes/gift ideas in the comments.