Sure People Magazine has some pretty tough lawyers who’ve bullied other blogs into taking down the very first picture of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. But here at BWE we’re not afraid of a little lawsuit. So here it is: the very first picture of proud parents Brangelina at a press conference in Namibia today, with their brand new, biological daughter Shiloh. Isn’t she just precious? Yup, there’s definitely something in the Namibian water.
For those of you respectable folk who don’t visit Kevin Federline’s MySpace page regularly, here’s an update. Britney’s trophy husband, drunk with power, set off sparks on his site by demanding approval of all comments posted. Whereas once you could leave any comment you wanted, now he’s policing posts to make sure everything is K-friendly. While his fans are outraged by their lack of freedom of speech, Kevin is telling them it’s for their own good.
Here’s what he posted Monday on his Myspace blog:
if you all didn’t use my comment section to dis each other i woulda kept them without approval…but all that shit was stupid. i don’t care if you don’t like me but respect each other.
We’ve run this statement through our trusty celebrity translator and discovered the true meaning of Kevin’s word. Here’s what we think he’s saying:
You hurt my feelings when you say mean things about me. I really, really want to be loved by everyone but in particular porn stars and rappers. From now on, if you want to post a comment on my MySpace page you can write A)”You’re an amazing lyricist” or B)”thanks for the add, sexy”.” C) “You Suck Balls” is no longer an option.
Nicole Richie loses her lunch.
Pic from D-Listed. Throw your own Captions in the comments!
It’s better to have tried and failed and posted your failure on your blog then never to have tried at all. That’s what Ben Schwartz, a freelance writer for shows like SNL and Dave Letterman , thinks. This dude has been capitalizing on his failures for over a year now, by posting his rejected jokes on his website rejectedjokes.com. This month, Schwartz dropped off a whole new line-up of bombs. If you’ve always wanted to know what it doesn’t take to get on SNL, check out this video Schwartz performing his rejected jokes live.
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At least it did for Van Halen fans. And rock & roll.
Diamond David Lee Roth dropped by The Tonight Show to promote his new album, Strummin With The Devil: The Southern Side of Van Halen last night (6/6/06). And that’s… where… this happened:
Tonight comedy fans will be divided: are you going to watch Dog Bites Man on Comedy Central, or a new episode of Blue Collar TV on the WB? Granted, they’re not on at the same time, but come on- you can’t watch both. That’s like rooting for the Yankees AND the Red Sox, or the Real World AND Road Rules during their stupid challenges. Sometimes you just have to choose.
What else is on tonight? Well, Dateline nabs a few more sexual predators, Commander in Chief is *still* going, and a bunch of people who think they can dance dance on So You Think You Can Dance? What are YOU watching? Vote now!
- Jeremy Piven comes to blows with Stephen Dorff They insult each other’s careers, but height and hairlines remain off limits.
- Hello Magazine may be sued for leaking Shiloh pics. But it was worth it just to see the look on People’s face!
- According to Lorraine Bracco’s new memoir Harvey Keitel’s racist, violently jealous nature destroyed their relationship, but it’s been great for his career.
- 80′s boy band Menudo may be revived. If only to harvest the next Ricky Martin.
- Heather Mills gets full custody of her and Paul’s young daughter. There was a maternal quality to those those German porn pictures.
- Brittany Murphy is embarrassed about being too skinny. But funny enough, has no shame about past three movies.
- K-Fed’s jealous of Britney’s manny. Manny jealous of people with dignified jobs.
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, June 6th! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Last Comic Standing, Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency, and Queer Eye For The Straight Guy!
- COLLABORATION: Cody ChesnuTT & Michel Gondry, on this ridiculous “King of The Game” clip. (Screenhead)
- GREAT IDEA: Katherine Heigl considered starring in a sex tape to boost her career. It’s not too late– I bet it’ll still help! (IDLYITW)
- SEX CHART: Who did/ didn’t Janice Dickinson screw? Sorry Bill Cosby. (Cityrag)
- PROOF THAT THE END IS NEAR: Saget!!! SAGET!!!! (Gawker)
- DEPRESSING SNAPPLE FUN FACTS: I can’t believe I’ve never opened a Snapple and read “Your parents are disappointed in the person you’ve turned out to be.” (CollegeHumor)
- I still haven’t given up hope that today (6.6.06) the world will end. We still have time. Before it does, make sure you head over to Awesome Until Proven Guilty and listen to a bunch of Devil songs by Beck, The Smiths, INXS and more. Go… before it’s too late.
- Armagideon Times has been gearing up for the end of the world too, with a track by Slayer and “Hell” by Squirrel Nut Zippers. Blogging about Squirrel Nut Zippers is another sign of the apocalypse, I think.
- Moving on. Homo Eclectic has a handful of tracks off Nelly Furtado’s new album. I liked her more when she was Like A Bird than Promiscuous.
- The theme of the day is “acronyms” over at Badminton Stamps, with tracks by Giant Drag, Elastica, and (my ringtone) “C.R.E.A.M” by the Wu-Tang Clan.
- And finally, The Late Greats has a few party tunes for Tuesday. I recommend Ben Folds Five’s cover of “She Don’t Use Jelly.” I also recommend partying on Tuesday, but that’s a whole other story.