Ohmygod b*tchez, guess who the latest couple of Hollywood hotties who’ve been caught “canoodling” enough times by anonymous “insiders” that they’ve caused the tabloid rags to up their status to “In a relationship”? It’s Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom! Can I get an “OMG LOL WTF ROFL!”? I mean, this is the most SHOCKING, INTERESTING and EXCITING news I’ve heard in the last four minutes, and it immediately poses two critical questions:
a) How many celebrity gossip writers will make a pun using the word “Bloom” in relation to love “blooming”?; and
b) What will the inevitable tabloid nickname be? “Bloomst”? “Dubloomer”? Personally, I’m partial to “Dumb”.
Ah, how the Arbitrary Matching of Super-Fascinating Famous People game can be so confounding! However, this scorching hot gossip couldn’t come at a more perfect time, because the film they starred in together, Elizabethtown, just so happens to be making its late night cable debut on the Encore Love channel this week! SIZZLING!
While guest hosting for Regis Philbin, teen heartthrob Clay Aiken managed to piss off Kelly Ripa by covering her mouth with his hand in an attempt to shut her up during an interview. We’re not sure what motivating factors led to this. Maybe Clay was trying to be funny, or maybe he was just overcome with curiosity and wondered what a woman feels like. Either way, it was incredibly, incredibly awkward (it all goes down 2:42 into the video). And as far as Kelly declaring that she doesn’t know where his hands have been… yeah, we can venture some guesses.
Link via DListed
Courtney Love has decided to strip down and bare it all for Pop, a British fashion magazine. This comes on the heels of Love deciding to strip down and bare it all for complete strangers, and her need to occasionally strip down and bare it all for a warm meal.
Manny’s Babes has scans of the pics. If you head over there you can see a bunch of the photos without Paul Scheer’s disapproving face covering the bathing suit parts. Like just about everything Courtney does the pictures are NSFW, not entirely enjoyable, but at the same time oddly intriguing and worth a few seconds of your time.
Let’s see them use that quote on her next CD cover.
Here is the EXCLUSIVE!!! photo of TomKat Cruise’s very first kiss
as man and wife ever.
Britney Britney Britney. What are you doing? What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Two weeks ago we were eating out of the palm of your hand (note: it kind of tasted like Cheetos.) When you dropped by Letterman we thought “damn, she’s looking good!” When you kicked that waste of space K-Fed to the curb we said “damn, she’s doing good!” And when you stuck it to him with an ironclad pre-nup we yelled “Damn! You go girl!” in the sassiest voice we ‘re capable of using. You had us Britney, you had us. And now you’ve lost us.
What the hell are you doing with Paris Hilton? Seriously Britney, what the hell? You realize she’s just a female Federline, don’t you? She’s talentless. She’s annoying. She’s a bad influence. If you stick around her, not only are we going to think less of you, but she’s also destined to ruin your life in one way or another. She’ll either give you an eating disorder, make you hang out with Brandon Davis or possibly even co-star in a homemade sex tape with you.
Actually… wait a second. We it all back. You two kids have fun.
For more pics of Paris & The Simple Wife ™, click here.
You already know how I feel about the practice of lining up outside of an electronics retailer like a bunch of brainless sheep to be the first person to get your hands on the Latest Video Game Console That’s Not As Good As An Old-School Nintendo, so when I saw this video of a dude buying a brand new PS3, then taking his purchase to a Best Buy where said morons were lined up and waiting to buy one of their own, then proceeding to smash the shiny new video game unit with a sledgehammer, I must confess that I felt a proverbial “LOL” swelling up from deep within my cold black heart. Whether you’re a gamer or not, this clip is still pretty priceless.
The photoshopping geniuses over at Worth 1000 have done it again, their latest contest imagining what it might look like if you mashed up the same actor with one of their different roles. Hilarity ensues. Be sure to check them all out!
This isn’t going to be an easy time for Michael Richards. Hey- the guy effed up, he deserves what he gets. But as longtime Seinfeld fans we’d be remiss not to at least offer him some good advice. Some good advice from Stanley Spadowski:
Sometimes you just hafta take what life gives you. ‘Cause life is like a mop, and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff. Well, you, you gotta clean it out! You gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again. And sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad that a mop is not good enough, a mop isn’t good enough. You gotta get down there with a, with a toothbrush ya know! You gotta scrub, you gotta get it all off, you gotta really try to get it all off. And if that doesn’t work, you can’t give up! You gotta stand right up, run to the window and say: “Hey! The floors are dirty as hell, and I’m not gonna take this anymore!!”
C’mon, you knew we were going to pull something from UHF, didn’t you? It was either this, or dig deeper into the “you get to drink from the firehose!” line. I think we made the right choice.
Remember our friends The Adorably Earnest Bank of America Acoustic Duo? Well, comedian David Cross sure does, and that’s why, with the help of guitarist Johnny Marr from The Smiths, he paid heartfelt tribute to the heartfelt corporate merger song that paid heartfelt tribute to a heartfelt song by U2. It’s all very heartfelt.