If you are not a fan of pornography, or if you have an actual realtown day job, might we suggest that you stop reading this post immediately. For the rest of you, divert your attention away from the porno flick you’re watching and check this out! The nakies world of filmmaking has responded to the highly successful YouTube phenomenon with their own herpes-infested version: Pornotube. All the videos are free, and uploading your own amateurish clips couldn’t be any more simplex, too. We have literally spent hours surfing through their clips (research, folks, relax), and let us tell you there is some high quality porking going on, involving oodles of girls who were likely-to-obvs molested by their dads, and men who just love to get laid. File Pornotube under “ideas we wish we had if we weren’t so busy watching porno.”
And for those readers under 18, don’t even try going to the site. There’s a highly clever barrier set up to prevent your perusal, so clever, in fact, that one would have to lie about their age to get past it. Saw-rryyyyy.
Why, his or her profile carved into a block of wood, of course! TurnYourHead.com takes a digital image of your profile, and then carves it into a block of wood, making your classic “Is it a vase or identical twins making out?” optical illusion come to life. The result is a pretty cool way to immortalize your post-caveman browbone, and it’s the perfect gift for celebrities already obsessed with their appearance. In fact, try to get the vase carved pre-plastic surgery! How much fun would it be for Ashlee Simpson to put her new WASP-y mug into her old profile’s sillouhette, proving she in fact can fit her fist in the negative space. It’s like an ugly girl’s version of fat pants! (Link via PopGadget)
Those of you who doubt Paris Hilton‘s talent, have we got news a-for you. Paris will be hosting a brand new television show called Americaâ€™s Cutest Pup, where contestants battle it out to see who has the cutest dog. Hilton won’t be the only host. She’ll be upstaged — j-joined by her chihuahua, Tinkerbell. Paris simply adoooores Tinkerbell, takes her everywhere! To the park, nightclub bathrooms, baby sacrifices, the yoozh! But how does Tinkerbell feel about all this? Well, we’ve done our research, and we’d like to present you with the many faces of Paris Hilton’s dog.
Really psyched to be alive.
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, August 17th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Queer Eye, Haunting, and America’s Got Talent!
So You Think You Can Dance named their winner last night, a weak-chinned doozy named Benji, whose hobbies include soft-shoeing and over-emoting. While the following video of the big finale is a little amateur porny, there are a few things that remain clear: This is the high-point of Benji’s life, this is the high-point of Benji’s Dad’s life (he’s the one carrying the portable LCD ticker that says “All About The Benji’s!”), and most importantly, Celine Dion knows how to read.
Check out this picture of a certain bloated celebrity chef… can you guess who it is? The answer is after the jump!
Most gossip sites wouldn’t care to post this, but we find it so mind-boggling, so beyond our wildest dreams, we couldn’t not post it, nor not use a double negative while doing so. Garry Shandling and Sharon Stone… an item? They were spotted having a quiet and relaxed looking lunch with each other (code for: we’re in love!) In the meantime, we’ve been whistling The Garry Shandling Show theme song since the show went off air — so it’s good to see the guy still palling around.
X17 Online has more photos of a suspiciously glowing Stone. So are they just chums? Or something more?