Sick and tired of walking around with little pets like chihauhaus and kinkajous, Paris Hilton finally splurged a bit yesterday and bought her very own homeless person.
Paris (pictured purchasing the gentleman for $100, right) posed for photographs before rushing her newest acquisition to the salon to bathe him and make him lose that “new homeless man smell”. When asked why she chose this particular man, Paris spoke about his cute salt & pepper beard and his “I could snap at any second” eyes, which she dubbed as “hot”.
Paris, who in the past has named her chihuahua Tinkerbell and her kinkajou Baby Luv has yet to name the homeless man. Friends assume she’ll go with something adorable, like Stinky Butt or Marmaduke.
It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, September 20th! Pete and Brian are here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including The Biggest Loser, Jericho, and Top Model!
BWE’s Christian Finnegan has been blogging like a madman lately, tackling everything from his dad to weight loss to Willie Nelson. Check it out.
Listen, I have something to say to all of the kids out there: don’t do drugs. No matter what you’re friends tell you, getting involved with drugs will absolutely not make you look cool.
Unless you’re a 73 year old musical legend! Try and tell me that Willie Nelson is not the greatest human being on the face of the earth. Nope, you can’t do it. What’s more lovable than the image of a bunch of elderly dudes tooling around the country in a tour bus fueled by french fry grease, sitting around jamming and getting baked? I’ll tell you what: those same elderly dudes on that same tour bus, blitzed out of their minds on ‘shrooms.
[Keep reading Christian's Tower of Hubris here]
Two of our favorite shows are premiering tonight. At 8 pm, NBC brings us their “super-sized” (ugh, those puns they use) 2 hour premiere of The Biggest Loser, the most negatively titled inspirational show in history. And also at 8 pm, America’s Next Top Model premieres on the brand new CW Network, a season opener that is said to be “diva-licious” (read: Pretty girls with GED’s on their periods.) It almost seems too good to be true. Biggest Loser and Top Model head to head at 8! What’s the solution?
We love The Biggest Loser, because they take ordinary overweight people, and turn them into really surprisingly hot people with hearts of gold in a matter of months. (And side note, Matt and Suzy from last year’s season got married yesterday! Tears!) Our plan: To watch Model for some good laughs, tune in to Loser for a good cry, then either pass out or choke to death on chocolate Twizzlers.
After 101 episodes, thousands of segments, dozens of comedians and at least 3 or 4 solid laughs, Best Week Ever has finally gotten the recognition it deserves. An Emmy nod? Nope, f-that. We’re nominated for a Pot Head Award!!!
The nominees for the High Times Stony Awards were announced today, and BWE was nominated for Best TV Show alongside other stoner favorites Chappelle’s Show, Entourage, Family Guy, Saturday Night Live, and (obviously) Weeds. Entourage bested all TV shows with 4 nominations, while the ‘hit’ film Grandma’s Boy earned a Stony-topping 6 nods. And who ever said pot heads don’t know what they’re doing?
The Stonys will be handed out on October 24th by Redman and Doug “Marijuana-logues” Benson (I smell fix!) here in NY. We’re hoping for a statue, but honestly, if we don’t win it won’t be the end of the world. We’ve always considered ourselves more of a show for lushes and drunks anyway.
This November, you best camp out in front of your local newsstand if you have any interest in scoring an exclusive copy of Vanity Fair‘s upcoming issue, featuring the world’s first exclusive shocking peek at Kazakhstani rabble-rouser Borat, aka Sasha Baron Cohen. This is completely true. Borat will be on the cover of Vanity Fair, and, well, we’re rejoicing. One can only pray that the picture will feature his curly-headed moustachioed grin being gently caressed by the lining of Tom Cruise‘s jacket. We’ve never been happier to see a Jewish Jew-hater make it so far.
Also, if you have a moment, read through Borat’s Wikipedia page, which gives a lot of insight as to how Cohen stays in character. Like he never washes his suit, so as to retain that Eastern European aroma. Borat: Putting the B.O. in HBO.
What follows is a dramatization of how things like this happen.
TV EXEC: Okay, we’re set to launch our multi-platform 40 bajillion dollar media marketing blitz to make sure every single soul in America understands that Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is Must Motherf*cking See TV. But what about these iBlogs and MyTubes and YouSpaces I keep hearing about on the World Wide Webernets. Is there anything we can do with that stuff?
TV EXEC 2: What’s a blog?
TV EXEC: Hmm, I have no idea. (hits button on phone) Joshua!