Wow. Wentworth Miller has deservedly risen to the top of TV’s hottest men thanks to his starring role on the show Prison Break. But take a look at this clip from Popular a few years ago, where Wenty was slightly miscast as an effeminate dance instructor replete with a “Manazon” track jacket. Watching the clip, it’s nice to know that he’d be open to dropping the soap in the prison shower if the script called for it.
(Link via ONTD!)
I’m not sure what Mr. Belding would have to say about this report of an alleged sex tape that graphically depicts Dustin Diamond (known better as Saved By the Bell’s Screech) engaging in 3-way sex with two women and pulling some pretty disgusting moves out of his bag of tricks, inluding the dreaded “Dirty Sanchez”. These kinds of antics are to be expected from the likes of Zach Morris or Jesse Spano (ever see Showgirls?), and maybe even AC Slater (if the threesome were with two other dudes) – but Screech!?! What more of an indictment could our culture receive than the filmed sex acts of a goofy-but-likeable Bayside Tiger? Once the tape finds its inevitable home on the Internets, we’re all going to have to ask ourselves a very serious – and very important – question: will we watch it? Could our fragile psyches really handle the image of Screech giving some groupie (please god let it not be Paris Hilton) a Dirty Sanchez? Such devastating philosophical questions should not even be posed at this early morning hour.
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, September 26th! Alan Noah is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Dancing With The Stars, Law & Order, and Nip/Tuck!
If you’re terribly bored and feeling like your daily levels of Mel Gibson Insantity are a little low, you can go to this Apple Trailers page, click on the smallest HD version (480p) of the TEASER, pause at 1:46, and click frame-by-frame (using right arrow key) until you come across this little shot of a Wild-Eyed Gibson hanging out with a few of his Mayan friends that could only be the handy-work of some wise-ass editor (perhaps of Jewish descent?) with an axe to grind. Oy vey!
School For Scoundrels starring Billy Bob Thornton, Napoleon Dynamite, and a slew of amazing comedians (including David Cross, Sarah Silverman, and our very own Paul Scheer) opens this Friday. To celebrate, we’re holding a little photoshop contest.
Click below to get a Billy Bob/ blackboard picture to work with. Then send your creations to email@example.com. Nothing is off limits. We’ll post some of our favorite ones throughout the week, then on Friday we’ll hand out a prize to the best of the best. So get to work… and good luck, you scoundrels, you.
We here at BWE were lucky enough to sample the not-yet-released Cocaine in a Can, and wanted to give our opinion on the only legal, liquid alternative to powdered heaven. The drink claims to be 350 times stronger than Red Bull, and lasts for up to 5 hours. Upon first can-cracking, it smells like cherries, and when poured, resembles clown piss. While it has been described as tasting “like a Jolly Rancher”, we had a different take. Our reactions evolved from “Oh God, it burns” to “(hysterical coughing)” to “I can’t… I can’t feel my chest… it’s on fire!” Yes, what the creators of Cocaine in a Can won’t tell you is that its main ingredient is cayenne pepper (or some much cooler “illegal” pepper). 30 minutes later, our mouths are still burning. This is perhaps an attempt to recreate the “drip” we’re told snorting cocaine causes, albeit in a completely opposite fashion.
But what’s a little “my face is exploding” for the inimitable paranoia that comes along with a night of rail-blowing? Translation: Does this crap get you high? Well, let’s see… We’re currently typing at 200 words per minute while constantly checking over our shoulders for celebrities/ex-boyfriends. And our teeth hurt. And, no lie, our chests our still burning. But we’re not looking any skinnier, that’s for def. And our co-worker, who is “sensitive to caffeine”, has a splitting headache. (Note to self: Do not drink cocaine @ work.com)
Keep reading for the verdict!
According to ubiquitous fly-o-the-wall Perez Hilton, Kathy Griffin has broken the news that (friend? fellow d-lister?) Tori Spelling is pregnant, we assume thanks to husband Dean McDermott. While the news isn’t official yet, we happen to peruse some recent photos of Tori, and we definitely notice a unusual belly protuberance from the normally stick-thing Spelling. She’s also been sporting maternity wear, folks. This worries us: Seeing as Tori is out of her billionaire father Aaron Spelling‘s will, how on earth will she afford the Gucci bassinet, chinchilla diapers and the illegal-nanny farm the family has been using for generations? We’re willing to give her $20 for first dibs on the baby pics, and she should be grateful for the offer.
In other baby news, Katie Holmes is laying down the common law with baby daddy Tom Cruise: You wanna ‘nother kid, you bettah put a ring on this finger! Katie refuses to have Tom’s second child until marriage. Right on, Dead-Eyes Watson! It’s never too late to be a lady.