While You Were Selling Baby Pictures

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  • Gwyneth Paltrow has announced that she is currently in the process of recording an album. It makes sense, I guess: she acted in a crappy movie about karaoke singers and she’s married to a crappy pop singer – she deserves the chance to sing crappy music of her own.
  • Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh was detained at an airport this week when authorities discovered a prescription bottle of Viagra in his luggage that didn’t have his name on it. Though he found it difficult to explain to authorities why he had Bill O’Reilly’s penis pills, six copies of the Log Cabin Republican Magazine and a filthy loofa, the fast-talking radio host was finally able to board his flight.
  • There was a time when a Cameron Diaz nip-slip actually meant something. Now everyone’s all like, “Oh, it’s not her secret baby with Justin Timberlake’s newborn nipple? Then frankly we don’t give a damn.”
  • John Cusack has filed for a restraining order against a woman he claims has been stalking him. The Los Angeles woman apparently really, really, REALLY loves dogs.
  • Speaking of dogs: Moose, the Jack Russell terrier who played pooch “Eddie” for 10 years on Frasier, has passed away, joining Lassie, Benji and Old Yeller in the VIP section of doggie heaven (cause that’s where they all go), where he’ll spend his days eating Kobe beef and having more poodle sex than he ever thought possible.

Best Night Ever 6-26-06

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It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, June 26th! Lauren Brown is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Treasure Hunters, Hell’s Kitchen, and How To Get The Guy!

…Of The Day

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  • PETITION: Send Art Brut to Top of the Pops. I’m sure many of you don’t know who Art Brut is, or what Top of The Pops is, but trust me: it’s a good cause. (Pitchforkmedia)
  • QUOTE: “How much cocaine would I have to do to lose 10 pounds?” – Paul Scheer’s mom. (Paul Scheer)
  • SAD PASSING OF HOLLYWOOD ROYALTY: The most likeable character on Frasier, Eddie (real name: Moose) is no more. (D-Listed)
  • ADVERTISEMENT: Al Gore & Bender from Futurama are here to scare the s**t out of you. (Screenhead)
  • ASS KICKER: Ashlee Simpson. Keep it clean ladies, and please, stay away from the new nose. (Hot Online News)

BWE’s Celebrity Baby Photos Price Guide

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brangpeople.jpgAfter photos of Brangelina’s first baby sold for millions, and now that we’ve learned that TomKat’s price demands for Suri’s First Photo have still not been met, we thought we’d explain the volatile Celebrity Baby Photo market by providing you with this helpful price guide, using a broad spectrum of examples from which you might better understand the cost of getting exclusive shots of newborn stars 20 minutes before all the blogs do.

TomKat – $10 million, made payable to The Church of Scientology, along with no less than 12 open-minded recruits for a ‘preliminary audit’ at the Center

Read more…

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • To Die By Your Side posted three great tracks today. So head on over there for tracks by the Eels, Flaming Lips, and The Who.
  • Speaking of the Eels, The Of Mirror Eye has 4 tracks from Live At Town Hall.
  • Speaking of live, Sweetheart Of The Radio has a few live Cat Power tracks from a radio session in 1998. Good stuff.
  • Speaking of good stuff, Interpretations Diverses may not speak English, but they do have 2 tracks off the new Islands CD– one of the best CD’s of the year, if you ask me.
  • Speaking of me, I like Elliott Smith, which is why I enjoyed Jefito Blog’s Complete Idiot’s Guide to Elliott Smith. I won’t ruin the ending for you.
  • And finally, speaking of ending, I’m going to end this list by directing you to three tracks by Wang Chung. Head over to Lost in the 80′s and download them all– none of which are “Everybody Have Fun Tonight”, believe it or not.

It’s June 26th; What’s up?

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kylexy.JPGEvery morning when I walk out of my apartment located in Manhattan’s Lower East Side I’m greeted by about 14 side-by-side posters for ABC Family’s new show Kyle XY. The premise, from what I can gather, is that he’s a guy without a bellybutton. And that’s about it. Umm… that’s good enough for me!

You know what else is good enough for me: How To Get The Guy. It’s the funniest unintentionally funny show on TV and definitely worth checking out if you can stomach the awkwardness. Also on tonight: Saved & The Closer on TNT and Fast Inc. on MTV. What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

BWE EXCLUSIVE: Sherrod Small Calls Bulls**t!

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john mayer.jpgYou might remember a couple of weeks ago BWE broke the news that John Mayer was going to drop by the Comedy Cellar to try his hand out at Stand-Up comedy. Well, when word got back to John that his surprise appearance was no longer a surprise he decided to postpone his Cellar debut. So it wasn’t until this past Friday that he finally hit the stage in an attempt to entertain comedy lovers and drunken tourists alongside Dave Attell, Jim Norton, and our very own Sherrod Small.

How’d he do? Well, if you visited Gawker or Stereogum today and read this guy’s account, he bombed. Hell, I read it and I believed it because blogs are the single most reliable news sources on the planet. Right? Right? Wrong.

Sherrod Small
calls Bulls**t!

“This is ridiculous,” Sherrod said. “The guy took John’s words and turned them around. It wasn’t insensitve. Money, he used the N word once at the end of the show when he was talking about his Dave Chappelle appearance and how people come up to him and say ‘give me a pound, nigga.’ Nobody was offended. Everybody loved it.”

There you have it: the same show, two different perspectives. I think I’m going to believe the comedian over the anonymous blogger, though. Call me old fashioned.

ICYMI: ‘Why’ You Should Be Watching Lucky Louie

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Based on the first few lackluster episodes of the season, Entourage seems like it currently might be flying in mid-air over the proverbial shark. “Luckily” it’s followed by a low-key new show you might not have noticed that’s been picking up the laughs that Ari and the gang seem to have left behind this year. Lucky Louie, writer/comedian Louis CK’s innovative re-imagining of the classic family sitcom, is the funniest show on TV that nobody really seems to be talking about yet. If you don’t believe me, check out this hilarious clip from the pilot, then tell your TiVo to get its sh*t together:

SIZZLER: Thanks For the Memory Stick

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062405 Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie-thumb.jpgAccording to TMZ, Brangelina’s lawyers are furiously filing motions and torts to prevent these pictures (as well as these ones) of Shiloh’s baby shower, apparently taken from a stolen memory stick, from making their way around the internets. Considering their last unsuccessful battle against the viral nature of digital technology, the effort seems pretty futile. But the warning letter is still pretty threatening: apparently the Namibian government has already set up a secret “WiFi camp” where offending gossip bloggers will be imprisoned, beaten with their laptops, denied access to site stats, and forced to watch helplessly as Perez Hilton scoops them again and again for all of eternity.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Little Clicky

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clickposter.jpg1. If only Adam Sandler’s magical remote control had a button that would remind him to stick with flaming bags of poo and fist-fighting Bob Barker instead of making these overly sentimental pseudo-comedy cutesy crapfests – $40 million

2. It’s nice to know that SOME cars aren’t running out of gas this summer, despite the fact that a gallon of gas is approaching movie ticket prices. I bet if my Honda could talk, and it sounded like Larry the Cable Guy, it would say, “I need gas – Git ‘er done!” And I’d be all like, “I can’t, I just spent all my money seeing Adam Sandler play with a magical remote and make baby noises.” – $22.5 million

3. Could it be possible that the utter hilarity of seeing Jack Black do a Mexican accent whilst wearing ill-fitting tights hasn’t been getting the word-of-mouth buzz that the studios were banking on? – $12.1 million

4. I was going to make a joke about this movie, but then I realized that I’d never even heard of it before and know literally nothing about it. Seriously, is this another one of those 2-hour rap video movies Hype Williams likes to direct? – $9.4 million

5. The only thing fast or furious about this movie is how fast it’s speeding towards it’s finish line of forgotten irrelevancy – $9.2 million