Filing Nick Lachey under “D for Douche” is sort of like calling Paris Hilton “a little promiscuous” – it just goes without saying. But some d-bags are d-baggier than others, and when Jessica Simpson’s c*ck-loving cuckold told David Letterman that he deals with his divorce from that brainless boobjob by “throwing himself into a little bit of booze to kind of numb the pain”, he’s pretty much slamming his fist down on the bar after half a beer and drunkenly announcing to everyone within earshot, “I AM NICK LACHEY, AND I AM A PATHETIC DOUCHEBAG!” like the total Sorority Girl that he is. The mental image of that blonde-tipped baby crying into a bottle of Smirnoff Ice over the inevitable failure of his publicity stunt marriage makes it so much easier to understand why wifey would want to be the meat in the middle of a Jackass sandwich. Anyways, congratulations Nick – you’re today’s Daily Douche. And a total pussy.
Morning Theft is an NYC band via Boston that sounds a little bit like Nirvana, a little bit like The Replacements, and a whole lot like Awesome (does that even make sense?) They’ll be playing a Halloween show in Cambridge, MA where they cover Weezer’s blue album from beginning to end, so if you’re in the Boston area you can’t miss it (you can find out more about it and listen to a few tracks on their MySpace page, natch.) Lead singer Rob Holmes sat down in the BWE iPod Shuffle chair today and threw caution to the wind. Let’s see how he did:
1.) Jeff Buckley “Corpus Christi Carol” – I named my band after a Jeff Buckley song. But not this one.
2.) Hole “Miss World” – One of the best songs Kurt Cobain ever wrote
3.) The Pixies “Down To The Well” – God, i love this band. Boston represent.
4.) The Replacements “Alex Chilton” – Something bugs me about the lyric “children by the million wait for alex chilton.” Stupid Mark Foley, ruining everything.
5.) Dane Cook “Where’s the Handle” – I love listening to comedy CDs, and i used to really really like Dane Cook… but seriously, Dane, what the hell? What is wrong with you? You’re like the new Ben Affleck….a Boston boy gone wrong.
Alright, now it’s your turn. Shuffle your iPod and leave your songs in the comments. And don’t lie!
What can I say? Girlfriend has some straight up KILLER dance moves. This is what Justin was talking about with “bringing the SexyBack”.
The Bastardly wants you to vote on who you think deserves the title of Ugliest Woman of ’06.
This is far from an informal poll– The Bastardly folks have it all covered. There’s a point system, there’s a submission deadline, and there are dozens and dozens of fugly celebrities to choose from. So who do you think deserves to be on the list? Let us know… but more importantly, let them know.
- What better way to get into the blood-curling spookiness of this cursed day than by heading over to Rewriteable Content and grabbing a track from The Blood Brothers!
- It’s scary how prolific and talented those Bishop Allen kids are, and You Ain’t No Picasso knows what I’m talking about.
- What are you dressing up as for Halloween? Based on what I’m hearing over at Indieblogheaven, it would appear as if Sean Lennon will be going as a third-rate version of his father – again!
- MyExBestFriend tells us that The Horrors are frighteningly awesome.
- Shotcallin’ knows that, just like Jason Voorhies, Jay-Z’s career simply…won’t…die!
Before we do a mini-recap of last night’s episode, we want to bring something slightly disturbing and very entertaining to your attention. Actress Kate Flannery, better known as Purell-ingesting Meredith, wrote a fantastic short story for the website Fresh Yarn called “Not Really a Star F#*ker.” It tells the tale of Kate, on the road as Alice the Maid in The Real Live Brady Bunch, and her months-long passionate love affair with… wait for it… DAVY JONES from The Monkees. Makes us love Kate/Meredith even more.
Moving along… Grief Counseling last night returned The Office back to it’s brilliant season 2 form, with enough quotable quotes to fill up at least an entire 13 minutes of watercooler chat. Most noteworthy thing: Ryan has a personality! He speaks! He’s involved! He had by far the funniest moment of the night, which I’d recap, but it would probably take me like a minute and half to tell that whole story. Also, I’m a sucker for beak humor, so this one really hit it out of the park. And Jim and Karen? Still pretty cute, albeit in a scripted kinda way. Leave your favorite moments/thoughts in the comments. (The deleted scene over at NBC should please you Toby fans out there.)
Finally, it appears that the writer’s of this show have seen one of my favorite movies ever: The Boy in the Plastic Bubble. Dwight’s robot drawing looked very similar to the drawing of John Travolta‘s portable orange bubble suit. Well played.
Even the most famous of Celebrity Royalty has to slum it every now and then because anyone who pays attention to the tabloids (and everyone should!) knows that Hollywood’s hottest new accessory is a malnourished third-world child with dark skin. A visit to some wasteland jungle village, and a sad-eyed little African tyke can do more to improve the public appearance of celebs than all of the cosmetics and cosmetic surgery in Los Angeles. And sometimes the presence of these stars manages to actually improve the poor places they visit (UPGRADE!), while other times they just make things more depressing (DOWNGRADE!). Take a look at these celebs on safari, then vote on which ones seem to be helping and which ones just need help.
Brody Jenner– a man who’s famous solely because of his uncanny ability to date D-List actresses– has done it again. UsWeekly has confirmed that Mr. Jenner is currently hooking up with Laguna Beach’s Lauren Conrad (or LC, if you’re ‘in the know’). Now, hooking up with LC is hardly newsworthy… hell, you’ve seen Jason, clearly she doesn’t have high standards… however, what makes this great is the fact that Brody used to date LC’s Laguna co-star, Kristin Cavalleri. What a guy!
Now granted, Brody dated Nicole Richie in between Laguna babes, providing a small (note: really small) buffer, however going from Kristin to LC is quite an accomplishment. It puts Brody in that elite Adam Duritz dating both Courtney Cox & Jennifer Aniston category of celebrity. It’s not an easy feat to accomplish, so for that reason we congratulate Mr. Jenner. Now enjoy the drama.
Sometimes, having to explain things simply ruins them. As is the case with this morning’s Page Six in the NY Post, captured above, which confuses Carson Daly, luckiest fame lottery winner evs, and Carson Kressley, whipsmart main gay on Queer Eye. Thousand words, folks. (via Gawker)
Our feelings about Google’s purchasing of Youtube are summed up nicely by — who else? — Christopher Walken’s Mother. Enjoy.