BREAKING: Sacha Baron Cohen Was a Male Model!


Fans of Ali G/Borat/SB Cohen: HEAR HEAR. You must watch this British telly special called Before They Were Famous, profiling the comedian from his early beginnings in the mid-90s as a cable access tv presenter and… yes, male model! Watch these two videos and understand why. You’ll cringe at times, and certainly stifle your cubicle-snorts at others (like an early Bruno moment.) Oh, and the second half of the vid has an NSFW breast slip. (Those Europeans and their on-air nudity, we swear.)

Part II after the jump!

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LISTEN UP: This Post’s 5 Best Bands



  • Neiles Life gets the “bloggers making lists of their favorite things at the end of the year” season kicked off with his 25 best albums of 2006, including my personal favorite, from Band of Horses.
  • Don’t let your year-end lists distract you from the best music of the week, though! The Yellow Stereo rounds up new tracks from The Beatles, Sufjan Stevens, and Oasis (who’s still bigger than The Beatles in their own minds).
  • Fluxblog makes a list of four reasons they’re confused that Outkast’s “PJ & The Rooster” wasn’t selected as the lead single for their failed album Idlewild.
  • Muzzle of Bees get themselves arrested by the hip and happenin’ sounds of Tokyo Police Club.
  • Hate Something Beautiful stops for a moment to love something beautiful by posting a couple tracks from Lily Allen.

PETA: Picking on Every Tiny Actress


nicole richie fur.jpgIn an effort to prove that their hatred towards celebrities is almost equal to their love of animals, the folks at PETA have put together their annual Worst Dressed List. But this year, rather than simply name the celebs who enjoy walking around in fur, they enlisted the help of a guy who sounds like he’s auditioning for a job as Perez Hilton’s ghostwriter. Here’s his list, complete with catty (can we say catty? is that offensive towards animals?) commentary:

1. Nicole Richie: This pelt-wearing party girl is all animal skin and bones. She’s an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match.
2. Ashley Olsen: Wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if Ashley wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead.
3. Christina Ricci: Disregarding the holiday season’s “Peace on Earth” message, Ricci recently posed for a magazine cover wearing fur from slaughtered reindeer. At least she’s not into fur hats: Imagine how many more pelts it would take to cover that forehead.
4. Eva Longoria: You’d think she’d be more sympathetic to the plight of rabbits considering the way she screws around like one on Wisteria Lane.

Me-ow! (again, can we say that? we didn’t offend any cats out there, did we?) Nicole’s a bitch, Ashley’s anorexic, Christina has a giant forehead and Eva plays a whore on TV. If those aren’t reasons to stay away from fur, I don’t know what is. Thanks PETA!

VIDE-OMG: Food Fight!


Since some of you seemed to enjoy the Matt and Kim tracks we told you about the other day, I thought you might like to see this amusing little music video they made for their super-catchy single “Yea Yeah”. It’s kind of like Double Dare, except more rocking and less Mark Summers (wait, is that an oxymoron?)

(via Stereogum)

DOWNFALL-O-METER: Britney vs. K-Fed



Let’s take a quick look at who is faring better in these post-divorce days!

PHYSICALLY: The above comparison should say it all. K-Fed has tossed his cornrows to the wind, slapped on some cufflinks, and affixed the lucky diamond earring Brit no doubt bought him for Valentine’s Day. His Esquire duds work for him. Britney Spears, sadly, isn’t one of those girls who looks trashily hot when coked out of her brains. It’s more of a beaten hooker vibe. (Paris’ manhands really leave a mark.) At least she’s shaving! WINNER: K-Fed.

ROMANTICALLY: Britney’s latest squeeze is the ostrichian Paris Hilton. We won’t even get into details because you probably already know too much about their budding relationship. K-Fed isn’t crying though, as he’s scored his own eff-buddy in former porn star Kendra Jade. This one really comes down to which squeeze has less venereal diseases… aaand we’re guessing porn star. WINNER: K-Fed.

FINANCIALLY: Britney came out of the divorce with a water-tight pre-nup and top crotch lawyers. K-Fed can always stretch his last remaining diamond baubles to last at least a few more months. Still, this one’s easy. WINNER: Screwge McF**k, i.e. Britney.

Keep reading for more highly astute in-depth analysis.

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SIZZLER: Bush Twins Gone Wild


It’s been all over the news that the U.S. embassy has asked the Bush twins to leave Argentina. Thanks to this video, we finally know the real reason why.

I’m no conspiracy theorist… but this makes perfect sense! Though I think I’m going to need to see the video. You know. As evidence.

AD WIZARDS: A Christmas Story Goes Corporate


If there’s one thing we don’t like corporations tinkering with, it’s our beloved childhood memories. So we’re a little conflicted over this Cingular ad, which parodies America’s favorite holiday film A Christmas Story. On the one pink rabbit ear, using beloved scenes to schill for a cell phone company that we know for a fact sucks ruins it a little. On the other ear, it’s a solid remake. Worlds colliding!

Set Your Skivos: Doublemint Skanks to Co-Host Awards?


PARISBRIT.JPGYou’ve got to hand it to the talent coordinators at the Billboard Music Awards — they might be secret geniuses. Because next week’s normally unwatchable Billboard Awards will switch gears into Can’t Miss Television, when the newly-cemented “Gyno-Flash Posse” Paris Hilton and Britney Spears will don their crotchiest dresses and co-host the show together in Las Vegas, People Magazine revealed yesterday. Watching these two try to make their way through over 200 scrolling teleprompter words over the course of 3 hours sounded like re-re bliss to us. The clouds parted, God stepped out of a car with a short dress on, and sunbeams shot down to earth from his nethers.

But, of course, when something seems too good to be true… you know the rest. Because today, US Magazine reports that Britney Spears will not, in fact, co-host with Paris. Cut to God yanking his skirt over his knees and wonky-eyed frogs raining down from the skies. Paris Hilton hosting alone is about as fun as a 20-Please, Britney, deliver us a Christmas miracle and get your drunk ass on stage stat!

ICYMI: God Bless Jessica Simpson’s Cameltoe


This nifty little bit of film footage, taken prior to an ironic performance of the song “God Bless America”, prominently places J-Simp’s spandex-clad cooch front and center, right where it belongs, making us want to proudly wave the stars and bars all across this land of ours. Behold…the Camelcrotch!

(via WebJunk)