We never realized it before today, but Jared Leto and Jennifer Connelly look like identical twins. They are both ghost white, raven-haired, and very, very feminine looking. It’s Finkle-and-Einhorn-steez, ya’ll.
Oh, and while we’re on the topic of Jared Leto, we want to remind everybody that he has gout. Old news? Yes. Still hilarious, though.
If morbid things weird you out, prepare to get weirded. MyDeathSpace is a new website offering a place to peruse the MySpace profiles of people who have passed away. At first, we thought it was a joke, and gave the creators credit for the attention grabbing idea. But further perusal has us wondering… is MyDeathSpace real? In a way, it can be a nice (if not sick) way to honor the lives of those passed. Then again, we find the Hot Topic-style buttons they’re selling to be taking an interesting idea into a pretty sick joke. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to update our profile — we’d hate to pass on and leave the world thinking Mrs. Doubtfire is our fave film evs. The stakes have been raised! (Link via Popgadget)
When we first read that Kathy Najimy, actress in such hit movies as Sister Act and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, was boycotting Project Runway due to some insensitive comments about plus-sized women, we assumed it was about Wednesday’s episode, which featured a number of porkers — er, averaged-sized ladies. Turns out, Najimy is incensed over last week’s episode, where Alison‘s model — 6’6″ and 125 pounds tops — was referred to as “zaftig” and “plus-sized.” In her well-put letter written to Bravo Exec Andy Cohen, Najimy accuses host Heidi Klum of helping to perpetuate eating disorders among young girls, pointing out that six out of ten 11-year-old are on diets… with the other four getting their fat-asses kicked in the schoolyard.
We actually discussed these comments with our friends over plates of deep-fried Snickers bars and lard skewers, concluding that Klum had some nerve calling that girl plus-sized. Did she look like an idiot? Def. Did she hulk over the Keeblerish Alison? Obvs. But fat? Waistless? Sigh. We would love to boycott Project Runway… if only it wasn’t as addictive as this cocaine that keeps us thin. Sigh.
Improv Everywhere is a group of improvers, comedians, and scallywags, who plan large-scale pranks on unsuspecting New Yorkers. In their latest stunt, 225 of their “undercover agents” entered New York City’s Home Depot — handy when you need to buy fixtures for your 15 square foot apartment — and moved throughout the store in slow motion. At one point, everyone was required to freeze for a whole five minutes, much to the amazement of the other customers. Check out the “highlights reel” below, and click here to see more clips from the day.
(Link via Wired Blog)
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, August 24th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv!
Through our shady network of operatives here in the Viacom family, BWE has obtained the following copy of a secret personal memo delivered to Tom Cruise by armed agents of Viacom chief Sumner Redstone, responding to what Tom and his partner have been telling the press. We present it to you, unedited and without further comment – full text after the jump.
TO BE READ IMMEDIATELY
TO: The Pansy-Ass Nancy Boy In the Kooky Space Cult Who Thinks He Can Insult Sumner F*cking Redstone
FROM: Sumner F*cking Redstone
RE: Your continued existence in the universe.
Listen here, you crackpot little pretty boy. You might think that Hollywood stardom has given you power greater than any other in the world, but I’ve got news for you: grinning and posing your way through a handful of stupid action movies has earned you approximately .01 percent of the unfathomable planetary dominance I’ve been weilding since before you were even born. I’m Sumner F*cking Redstone, and my company Viacom owns more of the people and property on this planet than most of the countries I allow to exist upon it. I hate to break this to you, but there is no God or Allah or Xanadu (or whatever the hell you idiots call your silly little space ruler) – there is only Viacom, Microsoft, Vivendi, Sony, and so on and so forth and Sumner F*cking Redstone.
Retired President Bill Clinton seems to have rested and relaxed himself to the point of exhaustion, as he was caught falling asleep at a 9th inning, 1-run nailbiter between the Mets and the Cards. Why is Bill so drained? (Begin Comedy Timewarp to 1999) Is something going on behind that barricade that we don’t know about? (Return to Comedic Present) But you can’t really hold the ex-President’s exhaustion against him, seeing as how other presidents – say a certain one who’s currently more “active” than Bill – would likely nod off in the late innings of a diplomatic “nailbiter”, the outcome of which could result in some crazy North Korean dude grand-slamming the entire human race into nuclear oblivion. Heads up, W!
Those artistic geniuses over at Gallery of the Absurd have done it again, this time bringing us a Michael Lohan-inspired cartoon drawing by Katie Holmes, who clearly seems to be trying to tell us something. It’s sort of like when psychologists have little kids draw pictures that explain the abuse they’ve suffered, except in Katie’s world, psychologists don’t exist and “suffering” is just another word for “in need of extensive Thetan-cleansing”.