In their recent
blowjob to interview with Jared Leto, MTV News gets the tortured musical genius to open up about just what in the hell is going on inside that sad little brain of his, so we thought this would be a good opportunity to fire up the old Celebrity Translator to shed some light on Jordan Catalano’s dark, dark soul:
“Forget the eyeliner â€” more importantly, what’s with my hat? I stole this from the guy in The Backstreet Boys, you know the one.”
TRANSLATION: Even though I wear make-up, I’ve got the balls to talk some sh*t about the Backstreet Boys. Oh, but I am way too dark and indie to actually know who they are. Seriously, make sure you print that.
“What changes [with success] is you can bring a few more lights, you can start investing in some of the ideas you’ve always had for production elements and you can present a show that’s not just four guys in jeans and T-shirts staring at their Chuck Taylors, which you can find at any given night at any bar across the country,” Leto said. “That’s fun for what it is, but we’re looking for something slightly different.”
TRANSLATION: Since I’m a pretty-boy actor who clearly lacks any discernible musical ability, my band can’t just stand on a stage and play real rock & roll. We’ve got to dress up like blood-splattered snow ninjas and do cartwheels all over the massive strobe-lit S&M dungeon setting for anyone to notice or give us even a tenth of the attention I so deserately crave.
When we first caught site of these movie posters for two upcoming Tracy Morgan movies, Black Cop, White Cop and Who Dat Ninga, we immeds hot-keyed it to Fandango to pre-purchase our tickies. Upon closer inspection (and a helpful explanatory article, courtesy of EW), we realized that this is actually Tracy Jordan in these posters, Morgan’s upcoming character on the Tina Fey/NBC sitcom 30 Rock. We’re jazzed that Morgan is on a new sitcom — and with fake posters like these, on that we hope is Hilarie Clinton. But we’re not gonna say that a part of us died a little to learn that Who Dat Ninga isn’t real. It’s gotta be at least as funny as Tim Meadows‘ The Ladies Man.
Further comment on this photograph seems unnecessary.
(via Advertising/Design Goodness)
D-Listed directed us over to this video of Ashlee– the stable Simpson sister– rehearsing for Chicago over in London. She’s sounding good… and it looks like she even breaks out her patented SNL hoedown move during one of the dances. We’re rooting for Ashlee, even though a successful theater career would delay her inevitable Playboy spread for a few years. Well, we waited for
Debbie Deborah Gibson, and we’ll wait for Ashlee Simpson. We got nothing but time.
Does Kathy Griffin have a new love in her life? The self-proclaimed D-Lister was seen smooching E! Fashion Police contributor Robert Verde following a romantic lunch date in New York City. Griffin is still overcoming the traumatic divorce from ex-hubby Matt Moline, who pilfered over $70,000 from the reality star’s bank account. But there have been no reports of a new love interest… until now. Verde could actually be the ideal match — even though he’s the complete opposite of Kathy’s ex! Lithe and uber-fashionable, Verde would be the perfect man steal brunch-time kisses with, followed by an exhausting day of shopping for bedsheets and an even more exhausting night of passionate lovemaking on them. Kudos, Kathy! Good luck to the happy couple.
BoingBoing points us to some hilarious footage of a University of Florida business school professor who apparently elected to get SUPER STONED (too much Cocaine drink, perhaps?) before delivering a 2-hour filmed lecture to his Principles of Management class. He didn’t manage to make much sense, but he did manage to get ridiculously high, which managed to make me laugh. He also apparently managed to get himself fired the very next day. The full lecture is available in two parts (First Hour, and Second Hour), but we suggest just watching the first few minutes, then skipping ahead to around 28:30. You’ll get the gist. But if you watch the entire two-hour video with the volume off while listening to Styx’s 1979 album Cornerstone on repeat, you will see God.
Homecoming got much more interesting when Karl’s dead Grandmother agreed to be reanimated as his date.
There are abuot 2 million other caption possibilities — wipe up the vom and leave yours after the jump!
There seems to be yet another cheating scandal on Project Runway this week. Yes, it seems that PR has cheated the viewer out of a real challenge/ending during last night’s episode.
I don’t even think it’s possible to spoil last night’s Project Runway, hence no pussyfooting around “alerts” and the like: Nothing happened. No, seriously, nada. Here is how the episode went down: The remaining four designers were given a challenge to take $250 and do whatever they wanted with it in 2 days. Actually, it was more complicated. They had to design something that was “their style” but also “completely different”, something that would surprise the judges. The designers seemed stumped by all of the possibilities, Michael especially, who spent a good few hours sketching until he hit upon a nice enough purple prom dress, albeit one that lets your tits dangle in the fall breeze. Of course, when it turned out they didn’t have two days, rather one and a half (a sheisty move, I thought), that sketch time really cut into his design process. Laura constructed a kind of bland, same old lace-n’-bead combo, perfect for when you want to play your xylphone-clav on the subway to earn some pocket change. Jeffrey wanted to “shock” the judges, and did so by sewing together a dress that looked like a seat cover in a Trading Spaces room designed by Frank, and Uli made the earth stand still by designing a flowy-high-necked dress that let the knees out for a little air.
More ranting after the jump!
On Tuesday night’s episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen decided to celebrate Yom Kippur by inviting viewers to apologize, via his special “Atonement Hotline”, for all the ways they’ve wronged him this year. Colbert holding up a white rotary phone with a Star of David on it made for a pretty good bit, but the really funny thing is that it turns out the number (1-888-OOPS-JEW) actually works, and you can leave him your very own apology message which may or may not end up being played on the show. Got anything you’re feeling guilty about that you’d like to unburden upon the empathetic ears of a man known for his unwavering truthiness? We’re looking at you, Mel Gibson.
(via Pop Candy)