We were shocked to learn this morning that CBS was pulling the boucle over our eyes. A photo of new CBS anchorwoman Katie Couric depicts the media titan as a little less “periody” or “bloated” — 20 pounds thinner, according to the New York Post. The difference really is incredible! It’s not as if Katie Couric has a weight problem — hell, her gams alone garner front page news — but after seeing the before-and-after versions of Katie Couric, we hate to say it… but she looks better in the touch-up! Check out the difference!
If our original explanation of Michael Lohan’s cartoon prison art didn’t answer your many questions about the significance of all it’s complex imagery, the artist has made a statement explaining his masterpiece to gossip columnist Lloyd Grove of the NY Daily News. Read it if you want, but we still think our detailed analysis makes the most sense.
You know how when a movie comes out they make specific commercials for specific channels? Like, for example, a Jerry Maguire commercial on ESPN would play up the sports angle but a Jerry Maguire commercial on Lifetime would play up the love story angle? Well, now that Tom Cruise & Paramount have parted ways, Viacom has a new angle to play up while promoting Tom’s movies: the Tom’s Bats**t Crazy angle. Take this Top Gun commercial that aired on SpikeTV.
Burnnnnnnnnn. I don’t even want to think about what LOGO’s going to do with the “You can ride my tail anytime” line.
(Link via Gawker)
Hat tip to our homeys over at Defamer who uncovered this
TiVo’d Dave-O’d clip from the Emmys after-show, in which Paula Abdul, clearly drowning in vodka and painkillers, does what she does best – drunkenly slurs about stuff on national television.
Fair warning: We debated posting this video, dropped by meatball, for a bit. It’s… well… beyond words? In the end, we decided that this clip of Corky from Life Goes On dancing to Public Enemy‘s “Fight the Power” was inspiring, nothing more, just inspiring. Really makes you realize that no physical or mental deformity will keep the white man down. Have other Corky clips you want to share? Drop them now!
The just-released music video for “When the Deal Goes Down”, the first single from Bob Dylan’s new album Modern Times, features the visual enhancement of none other than Scarlett Johansson. Shot by director Bennett Miller (Capote) to look like old home movies, the video is pretty much a love letter to Scarlett’s beauty, with scenes of her napping on a porch swing, kissing a walrus, and other stuff like that. Check it out!
Jessica Simpson can’t sing. No, that’s not my opinion- it’s the doctor’s orders after they discovered a bruise on her vocal cord. Unfortunately for Jessica, the timing couldn’t be worse. Her new album A Public Affair dropped yesterday, as did rumors that Jess is dating John Mayer. The woman probably has a lot to say.
What she has to say, though, is up to you. What do you think Jessica needs to get off her (enormous) chest?
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll feature our favorite ones here. Here’s the original, the blank one, as well as a few more examples to get you started. Have fun.
- A snarky writer at the AP goes with the subtle and nuanced headline, “Will Rosie fit or fracture `The View’?” We think the real question here is whether or not Rosie will fit or-a fracture you-a face.
- As we reported yesterday, Doogie Howser made a special appearance on Big Brother last night. Here’s a two-second recap: He wore a Santa hat, jumped on a trampoline, and said stuff.
- Beyonce, sick with jealousy that the Indian girl from The Office was getting more press than her, let’s an areola fly.
- Hilary Swank finds love with a presumably straight Ryan Seacrest lookalike.
- The Terminator franchise is coming to the small screen, in the form of The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Not mentioned but also slated for the small screen is the new series Robocop’s Wife Has a Splinter.
- Is Britney Spears expecting a girl? Her registry at one baby store says yes, with many pink and frilly things chosen, plus a baby chandelier. A baby chande– oh God. Oh God, I’m so– sorry. I– I just threw up all over my keyboard. I think it’s short-circuitijaskl.as8*&^$75
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, August 29th! Alan Noah is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Celebrity Duets, Rockstar: Supernova, and Million Dollar Listings!
- PROTEST SONG: It’s about time we start protesting certain things in this world. Like Paris. (The OK Go Away Paris Hilton Aparatus)
- LIE: Want to impress your friends by saying you went to Justin Timberlake’s post-VMA concert, but don’t actually want to sit through Justin Timberlake’s post-VMA concert? Boy, do we have the website for you. (Stereogum)
- WHAT’S THAT SMELL?: It’s Lindsay Lohan in a
- BOOBYLICIOUS MOMENT: Beyonce let it all hang out! And by ‘all’, we mean 1/18th of her areola. Gentlemen, start your engines! (Faded Youth)
- LIFE LESSON: Foxy Brown learned that once you plead guilty, you can’t exactly go back and say “Uh, just kidding.” (Gothamist)