GAMETIME: Guess The Celebrity!

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Who’s this beautiful tub of lard barrelling through St. Tropez, France? Is it:

a) a slimmed-down Rosie O’Donnell
b) a back-from-the-dead Chris Penn
c) a back-from-the-dead Steven Seagal
d) a neatly trimmed Adam Duritz

The answer is in the Comments. Good luck!

CBS Tricks with Slimmer Couric Photo!

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We were shocked to learn this morning that CBS was pulling the boucle over our eyes. A photo of new CBS anchorwoman Katie Couric depicts the media titan as a little less “periody” or “bloated” — 20 pounds thinner, according to the New York Post. The difference really is incredible! It’s not as if Katie Couric has a weight problem — hell, her gams alone garner front page news — but after seeing the before-and-after versions of Katie Couric, we hate to say it… but she looks better in the touch-up! Check out the difference!

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SIZZLER: Michael Lohan Criticizes His Art

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(Click image to view larger size.)

If our original explanation of Michael Lohan’s cartoon prison art didn’t answer your many questions about the significance of all it’s complex imagery, the artist has made a statement explaining his masterpiece to gossip columnist Lloyd Grove of the NY Daily News. Read it if you want, but we still think our detailed analysis makes the most sense.

No Hard Feelings, Tom

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top gun.JPGYou know how when a movie comes out they make specific commercials for specific channels? Like, for example, a Jerry Maguire commercial on ESPN would play up the sports angle but a Jerry Maguire commercial on Lifetime would play up the love story angle? Well, now that Tom Cruise & Paramount have parted ways, Viacom has a new angle to play up while promoting Tom’s movies: the Tom’s Bats**t Crazy angle. Take this Top Gun commercial that aired on SpikeTV.

Burnnnnnnnnn. I don’t even want to think about what LOGO’s going to do with the “You can ride my tail anytime” line.

(Link via Gawker)

ICYMI: Absolut Abdul

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Hat tip to our homeys over at Defamer who uncovered this TiVo’d Dave-O’d clip from the Emmys after-show, in which Paula Abdul, clearly drowning in vodka and painkillers, does what she does best – drunkenly slurs about stuff on national television.

PROPPED: Corky’s Dryfire

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Fair warning: We debated posting this video, dropped by meatball, for a bit. It’s… well… beyond words? In the end, we decided that this clip of Corky from Life Goes On dancing to Public Enemy‘s “Fight the Power” was inspiring, nothing more, just inspiring. Really makes you realize that no physical or mental deformity will keep the white man down. Have other Corky clips you want to share? Drop them now!

ICYMI: The Freewheelin’ Scarlett Johansson

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scarlett-johansson-bob-dylan-240x180-0806.jpgThe just-released music video for “When the Deal Goes Down”, the first single from Bob Dylan’s new album Modern Times, features the visual enhancement of none other than Scarlett Johansson. Shot by director Bennett Miller (Capote) to look like old home movies, the video is pretty much a love letter to Scarlett’s beauty, with scenes of her napping on a porch swing, kissing a walrus, and other stuff like that. Check it out!

PHOTOSHOP CONTEST: Jessica Gives A Sign

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jessica one.JPGJessica Simpson can’t sing. No, that’s not my opinion- it’s the doctor’s orders after they discovered a bruise on her vocal cord. Unfortunately for Jessica, the timing couldn’t be worse. Her new album A Public Affair dropped yesterday, as did rumors that Jess is dating John Mayer. The woman probably has a lot to say.

What she has to say, though, is up to you. What do you think Jessica needs to get off her (enormous) chest?

Email us at contests@bwe.tv and we’ll feature our favorite ones here. Here’s the original, the blank one, as well as a few more examples to get you started. Have fun.

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While You Were Tracking Ernesto, Your Sketchy Neighbor…

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Best Night Ever: Tuesday, August 29th!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, August 29th! Alan Noah is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Celebrity Duets, Rockstar: Supernova, and Million Dollar Listings!