When somebody calls your son “the devil”, how do you respond? Well, if you’re former President George H.W. Bush, you go on Larry King Live and call him an “ass”. Oh snap! I’d be careful though, guys. Men have fought wars for less. Much… much less.
If there’s one thing douchebag Republican Congressman pedophile Mark Foley has taught us, it’s the importance of having the correct information, lest an innocent person (or an entire political party) have their reputation soiled by a scandal in which they actually played no part. So to clarify this confusing realm of politicians turned cybersex offenders, we’ve created the fun new game: Get Your Foleys Straight!
Christian Finnegan’s blog is a must-read. This week, during the height of the Mark Foley
controversy prank-gone-awry, he was able to put everything in perspective, reminding us that Mr. Foley’s actions aren’t all that bad when compared to the actions of other current House members.
CURRENT HOUSE MEMBERS WITH SKELETONS MORE DISTURBING THAN MARK FOLEY’S
REP. KEN CALVERT (CA, 44th Dist.): Recently caught masturbating at the Vietnam Memorial.
REP. LANE EVANS (IL, 17th Dist.): Plays online Scrabble with Ayman Al-Zawahiri.
REP. VERNON J. EHLERS (MI, 3rd Dist.): In 1987, had one-nighter with Terri Schiavo. Never called.
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- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie wanted to watch each other grunt, sweat and workout at the Sports Club L.A. by themselves, but the gym refused to shut down to the public. That’s right — flex and moan where we can see ya, ya selfish bastards.
- Whale Rider‘s Keisha Castle-Hughes, 16, has officially become the first Oscar nominee to also be a teen parent. Let’s hope she can still Ebay off the swag to buy diapers.
- Eva Longoria rues the day she joined the Desperate Housewives cast, as the show’s title is nicely fitting in to her current love life, or so says every gossip headline on earth.
- Anthony Michael Hall has a mini nervous breakdown when he discovers that one kind-hearted paparazzi actually remembers who he is.
- William Shatner is slated to host a new ABC game show called Show Me the Money. And somewhere, Cuba Gooding Jr. opens his mouth to scream, but no sound comes out.
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, October 5th! Lang is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Ugly Betty, The Office and Grey’s Anatomy!
Take a look at Best Week Ever‘s resident technology expert Paul F. Tompkins, as he meets n’ greets the kabillionaires of tomorrow at the 2006 Wired NextFest. You can catch more footage of this and more on Friday’s new episode of Best Week Ever at 11 pm ET!
- FOOL WORTH PITYING: Anybody who doesn’t watch Mr. T’s new show, currently available at Yahoo TV. (Pop Candy)
- JOKE: Knock knock. Who’s there? Mark Foley. Mark Foley who? Mark Foley, who’s filthy instant messages were nothing more than a prank gone awry, that’s who! Get it? Neither do we. (Drudge Report)
- LOST & FOUND: Was there more to last night’s episode of Lost than 5 awesome minutes? Paul digs deeper. (Paul Scheer)
- ALIAS: Clinton Portis, the NFL’s most exciting rusher (off the field) is back to dressing up during press conferences. Today he introduced Dolamite Jenkins. (Deadspin)
- FUN FACT: How did the Killers become the Killers? Jimmy Kimmel found out last night. (Tubewad, via Gorillamask)
The image you see to your left is a picture of William H. Macy‘s ass. It was taken during a wet and wild photoshoot for the upcoming film Wild Hogs. Why did we choose to only post this tiny 70×44 pixel photo of Bill Macy’s ass? Well, let’s put it this way. The photoshoot consisted of John Travolta squeezing his sizeable man breasts together, Macy fingercombing his crotch hair, Travolta in an open robe and black briefs, and one picture that looks as if Martin Lawrence is reaming an undeniably pleased Tim Allen (cue Home Improvement caveman noise). In other words, this little picture of William H. Macy’s ass is by far the most appetizing thing you will see if you are brave enough to click here for the rest.
A couple of years ago, it became cool to talk about the 80′s, to reminisce about Saturday morning cartoons and t-shirt clips and Family Ties. But all the while, another decade looked on, the mere middle child, ignored, uncool, unloved: The 90′s. But maybe it’s about time we started paying more attention to this neglected decade. Fark points us to a Glossary of 90s Slang, and while it’s borderline TMI, find some heady nuggets, quit icin’ those grills, get blazed, and take a look. Some of the terms never made their way into our ear canals (“Whatever You Reckon” sounds more like slang from the 1890′s). But after a quick perusal, we can honestly pray that 90′s culture doesn’t get hip until at least 2021, when a metal robot is sent back from the future to save the world from nuclear holocaust, making Hasta La Vista even more ironic/deadly.
When your music is embraced exclusively by closet-homosexual Congressmen and the most deluded of NY’s downtown rave scenesters, some people would want to shy away from that and try to take things in a more accessible, more intellectually acceptable direction. But Moby is not “some people”, and homeboy not only embraced his newfound fanbase, but he made sweet sweet music video love to it on a bed of flower-scented glitter sprinkles. This filmed American Apparel Abortion, for Moby’s new single “New York, New York” (pretty original title there, Mob!) is f*cking faaaaaaaabulous!