- ALREADY OUTDATED LIST: Film Threat named the 50 Coldest People in Hollywood. Make it 51. (A Socialite’s Life)
- LONG OVERDUE NEWS: Pete Doherty, arrested for possession. God, it feels so good typing that again. It’s been too long. (Celebitchy)
- IT HAD TO BE ADDRESSED: Who has the bigger mouth, Steven Tyler or Mick Jagger? It’s about time somebody tackles the big issues. (Cityrag)
- LETS GO METS: So Julian Casablancas of The Strokes roots for the Mets and thinks Yankees fans are “dicks”? Nobody’s perfect. (Deadspin)
- SPANK YOU VERY MUCH: Britney Spears wants to give away her sex tape so K-Fed doesn’t make any money off it. Um… thank you? (Spank Cheeks)
An anonymous source reports that Michael Richards will appear on The Late Show with David Letterman tonight, liva via satellite. According to the source, Richards hijacks Jerry Seinfeld’s interview and uses the time to apologize for… well, you can take a guess.
So you know what this means? Jerry & Kramer, reunited at last! Oh boy! If only hate fueled outbursts were more common amongst Seinfeld alumni, perhaps they’d make more public appearances together. We can only cross our fingers.
You know what’s worst than going onstage and shouting horrifying racial slurs? Trying to squeeze a little much-needed pub out of it. During his completely unnecessary press conference (not this one, but the second one) outside of The Laugh Factory in the wake of this weekend’s Kramergate fiasco, outraged comedian in a Hawaiian Shirt Paul Rodriguez simply could not resist the opportunity to pepper a few “Rodriguezingers” into his empassioned
improv act condemnation of racism in stand-up comedy. In a dazzling display of comedic economy, P-Rod packs in references to Jews, Mel Gibson and (never failing to be timely) racist mid-90′s police office Mark Fuhrman (hey, OJ’s back!) in a funny-flurry lasting just under 30 seconds, desperately trying to prove that he was the authority on racial stereotype humor long before the very first lazy “lazy beaner” hilarity-nugget trickled into the Mind of Mencia. This is, of course, the most press attention Paul Rodriguez has ever enjoyed (you know Louie Anderson is just PRAYING that the guy who played Newman shows up to his gig tonight at the Funny Bone in Toledo to tell us why he hates Asians), which might explain his total inability to even pretend not to be using this unfortunate incident to further his unfunny joke of a career, and the reason that P-Rod is today’s Daily Douche.
Ohmygod b*tchez, guess who the latest couple of Hollywood hotties who’ve been caught “canoodling” enough times by anonymous “insiders” that they’ve caused the tabloid rags to up their status to “In a relationship”? It’s Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom! Can I get an “OMG LOL WTF ROFL!”? I mean, this is the most SHOCKING, INTERESTING and EXCITING news I’ve heard in the last four minutes, and it immediately poses two critical questions:
a) How many celebrity gossip writers will make a pun using the word “Bloom” in relation to love “blooming”?; and
b) What will the inevitable tabloid nickname be? “Bloomst”? “Dubloomer”? Personally, I’m partial to “Dumb”.
Ah, how the Arbitrary Matching of Super-Fascinating Famous People game can be so confounding! However, this scorching hot gossip couldn’t come at a more perfect time, because the film they starred in together, Elizabethtown, just so happens to be making its late night cable debut on the Encore Love channel this week! SIZZLING!
While guest hosting for Regis Philbin, teen heartthrob Clay Aiken managed to piss off Kelly Ripa by covering her mouth with his hand in an attempt to shut her up during an interview. We’re not sure what motivating factors led to this. Maybe Clay was trying to be funny, or maybe he was just overcome with curiosity and wondered what a woman feels like. Either way, it was incredibly, incredibly awkward (it all goes down 2:42 into the video). And as far as Kelly declaring that she doesn’t know where his hands have been… yeah, we can venture some guesses.
Link via DListed
Courtney Love has decided to strip down and bare it all for Pop, a British fashion magazine. This comes on the heels of Love deciding to strip down and bare it all for complete strangers, and her need to occasionally strip down and bare it all for a warm meal.
Manny’s Babes has scans of the pics. If you head over there you can see a bunch of the photos without Paul Scheer’s disapproving face covering the bathing suit parts. Like just about everything Courtney does the pictures are NSFW, not entirely enjoyable, but at the same time oddly intriguing and worth a few seconds of your time.
Let’s see them use that quote on her next CD cover.
Here is the EXCLUSIVE!!! photo of TomKat Cruise’s very first kiss
as man and wife ever.
- Oasis’ greatest hits album comes out tomorrow. Page 300 has their cover of “Helter Skelter.” Download it, but first promise me that you won’t kill anybody because of it.
- Speaking of covers, Hate Something Beautiful posted two Of Montreal covers, including their take on The Shins’ “Know Your Onion!”
- An Aquarium Drunkard also has two mp3′s today. The Hold Steady’s “Chips Ahoy” and “Southtown Girls.” Download them both.
- The Music Slut posted two Regina Spektor tracks today, one being “Fidelity.” I’d tell you how much I love this song, but I don’t want you to judge me.
- And finally, Rewriteable Content has a great mix including tracks by Radiohead, The Rapture, Sufjan, comedy by Demetri Martin and more. Get to work.
Britney Britney Britney. What are you doing? What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Two weeks ago we were eating out of the palm of your hand (note: it kind of tasted like Cheetos.) When you dropped by Letterman we thought “damn, she’s looking good!” When you kicked that waste of space K-Fed to the curb we said “damn, she’s doing good!” And when you stuck it to him with an ironclad pre-nup we yelled “Damn! You go girl!” in the sassiest voice we ‘re capable of using. You had us Britney, you had us. And now you’ve lost us.
What the hell are you doing with Paris Hilton? Seriously Britney, what the hell? You realize she’s just a female Federline, don’t you? She’s talentless. She’s annoying. She’s a bad influence. If you stick around her, not only are we going to think less of you, but she’s also destined to ruin your life in one way or another. She’ll either give you an eating disorder, make you hang out with Brandon Davis or possibly even co-star in a homemade sex tape with you.
Actually… wait a second. We it all back. You two kids have fun.
For more pics of Paris & The Simple Wife ™, click here.
You already know how I feel about the practice of lining up outside of an electronics retailer like a bunch of brainless sheep to be the first person to get your hands on the Latest Video Game Console That’s Not As Good As An Old-School Nintendo, so when I saw this video of a dude buying a brand new PS3, then taking his purchase to a Best Buy where said morons were lined up and waiting to buy one of their own, then proceeding to smash the shiny new video game unit with a sledgehammer, I must confess that I felt a proverbial “LOL” swelling up from deep within my cold black heart. Whether you’re a gamer or not, this clip is still pretty priceless.