PROPPED: George Michael Is The Next George Michael

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gm.jpgWith George Sr. out of prison and starring in a new sitcom, Tobias & GOB voicing characters for Comedy Central’s Freak Show, and Maeby starring in cheesy TV movies, it’s been difficult watching the cast of Arrested Development move on with their lives. It’s too soon. We’re not ready to see them in other roles. Unless, of course, we’re talking about George Michael, and the role is rock star.

Meet The Long Goodbye, (George) Michael Cera’s band. They kind of sound like Weezer meets The Honey Brothers meets early Ben Lee. Throw in one of the top 3 characters on one of the top 5 funniest shows ever, and you have the coolest band of 18-year-old kids ever. Below is the video for the song “My House”. Enjoy. Then head over to their MySpace page and watch their performance of the Weezer song “El Scorcho.” If watching George Michael yell “Goddamn you half Japenese girls!” doesn’t put a smile on your face today, I don’t know what will.

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Thanks to cjayne for dropping this. Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

“SIZZLER”: Two Pseudo-Celebrities Have Ended Their Publicity Stunt of a Relationship!

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Relationship?

I know there are rumors regarding my “breakup” with Brody Jenner. The truth is, we were never really together. We hung out, and he’s a nice guy, but my heart was never in it. Anything further is just a cry for publicity.Nicole Richie, MySpace, 10/4/06

While saddened by the news of Nicole’s break-up with Laguna Douche, I just can’t figure out what she could possibly mean by that “publicity” remark. I mean, really:
who
would
possibly
even
begin
to
care?

While You Were Following Foley’s Follies

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  • Brad Pitt says he wants to have a total of six kids by next year. Coincidentally, Mark Foley says the same thing.
  • Helena Bonham Carter thinks Hollywood has an unhealthy obsession with youth. However, seeing as how she recently turned 40, nobody in Hollywood cares what she thinks.
  • A spokeswoman for Madonna denies claims that the singer adopted a one-year-old orphan boy from the African nation of Malawi. She simply kidnapped the child to sell him into slavery– she did NOT adopt him. Please get your facts straight.
  • Kevin Federline will get $10 million if he divorces Britney Spears. He considers it a much better deal than the increasingly less attractive wife he gets if he stays.
  • Nicole Richie and Brody Miller Jenner have called it quits. The breakup results in Nicole suddenly becoming single again, and Brody suddenly becoming irrelevant again.

…Of The Day

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  • FALL WARDROBE: When a model falls down once, it’s funny. When they fall down twice, it’s worrisome… and funny. (CBSNews)
  • NOT EXACTLY A SURPRISE: When Trey Parker & Matt Stone walked the red carpet in drag, they were high on acid. That’s actually somewhat relieving. (Defamer)
  • ARTICLE: He’s Constantine Maroulis. He wishes you knew that. Complete with Scott Savol insults and everything! (CityRag)
  • WHO KNEW? Remember that sport hockey? Well, apparently people are still playing it. The new season starts tonight. (Deadspin)
  • RESPONSIBLE ADULT: Hilary Duff, who despite dating one of the dudes from Good Charlotte, actually has a pretty good head on her shoulders. And she’s apparently good with money, too. (I’m Not Obsessed)

CAPTION THIS: Husky…So Hot Right Now

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We’ve got nothing but proppers for fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier’s decision to put this Big Beautiful Woman on the runway of his latest fashion show, thus throwing down a tastefully-designed “Gault-let” to his vapid, anorexia-obsessed colleagues. Is this just a one-time comment on the intangibility of beauty, or are we entering a bold new era of fashion in which Supermodels will be caught on grainy camera footage, stuffing footlong hotdogs down their gullet whilst their obese rockstar boyfriend record their latest album lying on their backs in a post General Tso’s All-You-Can-Eat Buffet food coma? We’re not really sure, but we do know one thing – this girl knows how to WORK IT!

LISTEN UP: It’s Only Rock & Roll, But You Like It

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  • Over at Stereogum, Howie Beck transforms The Strokes’ rocker “Reptilia” into a sensitive ballad. And surpisingly, it’s not half bad.
  • Foreign mp3 blog Welkom op has a bunch of Franz Ferdinand b-sides today. Remember them?
  • We Are Scientists and Art Brut are covering one another’s songs on a split EP. Head over to the wonderfully named Mr. Red Penguin’s MP3 Heaven to hear a couple of tracks.
  • T-Sides is going old school today. They have some timeless Rolling Stones tracks posted, so head over there now if you’re in the mood for some classic rock by the coolest band ever.
  • Onward Charles is all geared up to see Spank Rock tonight, so they posted a couple of great tracks. Download “Rick Rubin” and thank them later.

BWE EXCLUSIVE: First Photo of Hollywood’s Hippest Baby!

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gyllengaard.jpgForget Suri, forget Shiloh and forget the latest “SPF”-initialed future therapy patient Britney and K-Fed crapped out this month – Tinseltown’s newest bundle of joy is wrapped in Urban Outfitters’ finest Diesel swaddling, which is only befitting of a baby girl whose parents are super hipster indie actors Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard (double-voweled surnames are the new trucker hats). And you’ll be happy to know that your friends here at BWE have once again turned to our shady network of famous offspring operatives to acquire the very first picture (which has just been sold to VICE Magazine for $50, a pack of Parliaments, and a baggie of pills) of this future indie superstarlet. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our distinct honor to introduce you to Ramonaa Kierkegaard Gyllenhaal Sarsgaard. See her very first picture after the jump – and our sincere congrats to the happy couple!

Read more…

ICYMI: Ashton & Josh WERE Derek & Hansel

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Fleshbot discovered that the folks over at Gay.com have unearthed some footage from 1997 of Las Vegas’ Josh Duhamel beating Chris Ashton Kutcher for Male Model of The Year. This video has it all: funny hair, ridiculous outfits, and a Hansel-esque dig by Duhamel about poor little Ashton. “The guy… I forget his name from Iowa, was exceptional.” Sadly, the segment ends before Ashton tells Josh that he can dere-lick his balls.

Watch the video here.

ICYMI: FoxNews – “We’re Shady, Deal With It.”

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How could a cable news network possibly be expected to fit something so outrageously embarassing as a Republican Congressman caught having dirty cybersex with teenage boys into their shamelessly conservative agenda? Make the pervert a Democrat, of course! Yes, on last night’s episode of The “Oh, Really?” Factor, Rep. Mark Foley was labeled “D” for “Democrat” on THREE seperate screen shots. Was this just poor fact-checking on the part of our fair and balanced friends, or did the “D” actually stand for Disgusting Douchebag Republican? Be sure to tune in tonight for Bill’s hard-hitting expose, “Amish Killer: Best Friend of the Clintons”