Michael Jackson will release an album in ’07. You will be allowed to ironically enjoy it by ’12.
- Mary J. Blige says God wants her to "bling", and to be the hottest thing this year. Proving once and for all that even though He may be your co-pilot, deep down The Man is a P.I.M.P.
- Sienna Miller has been receiving death threats. Insiders say police are baffled and are having a hard time trying to figure out why anybody would care about Sienna Miller.
- There are rumors that someone’s leaving the OC. Someone besides millions of viewers, that is.
- Speaking of leaving, Eva Longoria is ready to leave Desperate Housewives… to become one.
- And finally, David Hasselhoff has revealed he had a "spiritual calling" to change peoples’ lives for the better. In a related story, David Hasselhoff has announced that he will never release another album ever, ever again.
Thanks to YouTube and a couple of gay cowboys, the movie trailer mash-up frenzy has completely jumped the shark, the blue whale, and the Grand Canyon to boot.
In an effort to encourage this migration away from more mash-ups, Comedy Central’s Showbiz Show with David Spade is changing the game to movie trailer re-makes (like this genius one for Jurassic Park), and inviting all you Alfred Hitchcocks of two-minute trailers to submit your low-budget masterpieces for a chance to get it on the show and have David Spade say something smug about it – check it out!
It’s a girl! And that means the Tom Cruise You Complete Me Photoshop Contest is over. Thanks to everybody who participated (like Sarah, who sent us this rather hypnotizing Tom-On-Tom ink blotter-esque photo the left)– the entries ranged from hilarious to downright disturbing. But in a good way. I’ve included some of our favorites below.
Thanks again to everybody… and to you, Suri. For putting an end to this madness. You’re a little angel. (Do Scientologists believe in angels? If not, whoops.)
According to Howard Stern’s girlfriend Beth Ostrosky, Dancing with the Stars doesn’t pay that well. The shock jock’s girlfriend revealed on Stern’s Sirius radio show, that she was offered a place on the upcoming Dancing with the Stars 3, but is hesitant to accept the offer because they only pay a maximum of $245,000 for 8 weeks of taping. The model slash girlfriend was offered a base salary of $125,000 for the first two weeks and $20,000 each additional week until voted off.
According to the New York Post, Drew Lachey confirmed the pay sucks. Lachey agreed: â€œItâ€™s kind of ridiculous. In terms of TV and for the ratings that the show gets, itâ€™s ridiculous,â€ he said.
While we think $245,000 over 8 weeks is pretty good, we have a feeling Drew’s contract was considerably less than Ostrosky’s. In fact, Drew’s right, he’s worth way more than 8 bags of peanuts and a bowling trophy.
- Let’s just get this all out of the way at once, shall we? Yes, the Seventh Seal has been opened, and TomKat had their baby gir-lien. Now we can move on to all the less important things…
- Britney Spears may sue the company that makes the high chair that her son Preston recently fell from. Spears says she’s confident that Judge Judy will see her side of the story.
- MTV is developing a new project in which Paris Hilton will star.
- Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson have brought their catfight to the casting couch, now competing to see who’s acting skills are shi*ty enough to land them a role in the film adaptation of 80′s soap opera Dallas.
- Joe Rogan fires back at us with an angry missive on his message board! He even called us a bad word!
Your probably know by now that the most famous couple in the world finally had their baby yesterday and it’s a girl!
Congratulations Brooke Shields and Chris Henchy!
In other baby news, Tom and Katie also had a girl yesterday named Suri.
Jason is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including American Idol, Pepper Dennis, Less Than Perfect, and Scrubs!
REVERSE-WHITE STRIPES MOVE: Franz Ferdinand. They turned down an offer to sell a song to a "mystery American company" for a $50 million ad campaign. (AdFreak)
PLAYGROUND SLIDE: This elephant slide (pictured) exposes little children for the elephant pooh they really are (A Welsh View)
MISINTERPRETATION: Tom Cruise eating his baby’s placenta. I know, I know it was a joke. How could we have misinterpreted someone with such a great sense of humor except when it comes to adult sized pacifiers, South Park and getting squirted in the face with water. (MediaGab)
REASON TO KEEP KIDS OFF MYSPACE: Charlie Sheen is online dating (TMZ)
PORN STAR NAME THAT NETWORK EXECUTIVES MISTOOK AS WHOLESOME: Pepper Dennis (WB)
We thought Melissa the Impregnantor was our top ‘female rock singer’ making headlines today, but then comes this late-breaking news about Wicked Wisdom’s front woman, Jada Pinkett Smith . An "unamed New Jersey woman" is claiming she’s involved in a 3 year affair with Pinkett Smith. The couple meet up for sexual escapades around the country, while Will hangs out in L.A.
According to the 36 year old woman: "Jada is a very passionate and caring woman. I believe she’s with Will for the children and for her career. She loves her lifestyle and if she came out as a lesbian, it would be all over for her. Her children would be gone and her career. I love Jada more than anything and want to be with her… "It’s time Jada come clean. It’s 2006 and I know how bad she wants to be honest to the world and stop lying! I am hoping me coming out will inspire her to do the same."
Somehow this explains the couple’s close knit friendship with TomKat. (thanks for the scoop ONTD)
Check out this "phat", "totally street" video of "thug" clothing designer Marc Ecko "tagging" President Bush’s "Air Force One" with "graffiti".
Oh, and don’t forget to read the "slammin" legal disclaimer in which they admit that what you’ve seen is completely fake, thereby rendering it utterly pointless.