These Guys Are Packin’… Corpses.

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Let’s face it: Morticians get a pretty bad wrap. Only after HBO’s Six Feet Under did we choose to accept morticians as the sexy, well-dressed, formaldehyde-scented guys they really are. Well, one clever funeral director in California is making even our darkest fantasies a reality, with his 2007 Men of Mortuaries calendar. Yes, this is serious. The money goes to benefit breast cancer patients, which is pretty awesome, however the psyched expressions on their strong-jawed faces is more than a little off-putting. But hey… it’s better than this “What Cats Teach Us” calendar (which, for the record, is that you are really and truly alone.)

BWE 100: Everyone’s Excited!

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Best Week Ever’s 100th episode is getting a lot of buzz. Some big celebrities are talking about it… big celebrities like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

He’s not the only the one. Make sure you tune into BWE Friday night at 11 to see who else is talkin’.

LISTEN UP: A Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • How could Mel Gibson Week ever be complete without an official theme song? Luckily, Christian rockers Evanescence (how appropriate) have a timely new single entitled “Call Me When You’re Sober” you can listen to at AOL Music to help pass the time in rehab.
  • If there’s one thing the world desperately needs, it’s more weird “rock collectives” from the Netherlands; which is why you’ll be so excited to cuddle with Teddybears over at Opendeur.
  • YANP puts on his horn-rimmed glasses, picks up some Camus, pours a class of Cabernet and gets in touch with his sensitive indie-dork side with a little help from the scholarly sounds of The Mountain Goats.
  • I always thought beer was What Made Milwaukee Famous, but this indie rock band from Austin seems to be suggesting it was actually something else. Crack open a Schlitz, click over to Scenestars and decide for yourselves.
  • After you go to Withoutsound and listen to tracks from Say Hi To Your Mom, don’t forget to actually Say Hi To Your Mom for me. Cause I totally did her. Hahaha, oh man – some junior high jokes just never get old.

It’s August 1st; What’s up?

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josh blue.gifIn light of the heatwave, it seems like the major television networks are doing their part in conserving energy: they’re making me NOT want to turn on my TV tonight. Thanks guys!

Yeah, you have Rescue Me and Last Comic Standing , but that’s about it. Unless you’re watching one of the three boring reality shows (The Real World, Big Brother, Work Out) you’re probably in the same boat as me. A hot, sweaty boat with not a lot on TV. And it’s shark week. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

So what ARE you watching tonight? Vote now!

Chuck Norris Doesn’t Cross Bridges. He Kills Them.

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NORRIS2.jpgWhile most of the world is caught up in senseless bloodshed and war, Hungary is focusing on the important matters at hand: Bridge naming. Hungarian politicians left it up to the common folk to name a bridge being built across the Danube. And who did the Hungarians, those land-locked people who boast having the highest alcoholism and suicide rates in all of Europe and the world, decide the bridge should be named after? Chuck Norris, that’s who. Norris beat out other entries such as “Bob Marley” and “It Will Never Happen”, making it the most popular choice.

But of course, one could never cross The Chuck Norris Bridge — The Chuck Norris Bridge would stretch your pathetic body between the two land masses and cross you. Speaking of which, check out this classic Conan O’Brien moment featuring the best Walker, Texas Ranger clip… ever.

PROPPED: Big Macs Now Available To the Poor!

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Do you ever find yourself craving a delicious Big Mac from McDonald’s, but can’t afford the burger’s exorbitant $2.99 price tag? Well hunger no more! Even if you can’t spring for one of the “classy” Big Macs on the regular menu, arkham introduces us to some beefy burger aficianados who figured out a way to use Mickey D’s budget-friendly Dollar Menu to create a “Ghetto Big Mac” with just a double cheeseburger and a little culinary creativity. Move over, White Castle – fine dining has finally found its way into the ghetto!

Feeling Listless? Here’s Yet Another List!

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ss_wedding-crashers.jpgThere’s something about arbitrary lists that we just can’t get enough of. In today’s installment, Premiere Magazine rounds up the 50 Greatest Comedies of All Time, ranking them in the highly controversial chronological order. Things are going well, with the first greatest comedy being the seriously hilarious Safety Last in 1923. But once we hit the 90′s, things get fuzzy, what with there apparently being a comedy dry spell between 1993′s Groundhog Day and 1997′s Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. How are we expected to trust any list that leaves out the funniest comedy of all-time, Dumb and Dumber? There’s nary a diarrhea joke in the lot of them!

Unfortunately, Premiere doesn’t give us a final decision as to which is the funnier movie, putting both Wedding Crashers and 40-Year-Old Virgin on the list. Cop out, anybody? (For the record, it’s Wedding Crashers…)

Update: Premiere responds to our comments:

Why wasn’t the list ranked?
Because it originally appeared in the magazine alongside our Oral History of Comedy, which itself was in chronological order. Premiere Editor-in-Chief Peter Herbst and the rest of the editorial staff felt it made good sense to present their picks for the 50 funniest movies ever in the same timeline flow. Online, of course, the 50 comedies have room to stand on their own.

What Order Should Our 50 Greatest Comedies be in?
This is where we issue the challenge. Think chronological order is a cop out? Alright, you rank our 50 Greatest Comedies, with number one being the end all be all of funny in film. Email us with the order you think the films should be in, and we’ll post some of those orders right here on Premiere.com. And we know some of you are going to argue that there are films that deserved to be on this list more than the ones we picked, so if you’re game, send us your list of the 50 Greatest Comedies. Don’t be shy about saying why. We’ll post some of those too.

BWE 100: Counting Down To #1

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In honor of our 100th episode we’re counting down our Top 5 favorite celebrities to talk about all-week-long. Yesterday we saluted the one and only Paris Hilton for providing us with 2 1/2 years worth of entertainment. Today, we’re going to celebrate our 4th favorite topic of conversation in 100 seconds.

So here it is, #4: TomKat!

Don’t forget to tune into BWE’s 100th episode this Friday night at 11 and all weekend long. And be sure to check back tomorrow to find out who is #3!

Random Facts About Jews (According to Mel Gibson)

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jewishscroll.jpgNow that we’ve established that Mel Gibson has long had an interest in Judaism and is capable of enlightening us with previously unknown facts such as “the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world”, we thought we’d see what else he knows about God’s chosen people, which is how we discovered the following list of Random Facts About Jews (According to Mel Gibson).

  • Jews have secretly been trying to make candy and ice cream illegal.
  • Jews don’t worship Jesus even though He’s God and they’re supposed to.
  • Jews made that dude cut off Braveheart’s wang at the end of the movie.
  • Jews made Lance Bass gay.
  • Jews created Arrested Development just so they could piss us off by cancelling it.
  • Read more…