ICYMI: Dude, Mel Gibson Is F**king Crazy

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As always, South Park was ahead of the curve; they knew Mel Gibson was crazy years ago. This video should give you a little insight as to how he acted during his arrest on Friday (minus the anti-Semitism, sadly.) See for yourself.

Drama Is A Bulimic Pedophile

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drama.jpgOnce again blurring the line between reality and fiction, Entourage creator Doug Ellin has slipped the folks at EW Johnny Drama’s resume. Now, this isn’t as crazy as the 2-page Aquaman advertisement in Variety, but it’s still cool that HBO wants us to think of Vinnie Chase and his boys as real people.

So what was Johnny Drama doing before his little brother hit it big? Well, he was Stoned Surfer #5 in Point Break, Tori’s stalker on 90210, and how could anybody forget his role as the Bulimic Pedophile on The Commish?

Check out his entire resume here. Hey, I’d hire the guy. Wouldn’t you?

A-Ledger-ed Rumor Come True: Heath is the Joker!

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HEATH.jpgAs reported on July 20, Heath Ledger has now officially signed on to be the Joker in Christopher Nolan‘s upcoming Batman sequel, The Dark Night. (Click the thumbnail on the left for our imagining of Heath in the part.) Ledger will join the “Hottest Actor with Rosacea” Christian Bale, who will reprise his role as the gravel-voiced crusader, but rumors still abound about the other villains in the film. The latest word is that Ryan Phillipe is up for consideration to play Two Face, and it is safe to say that at least one of those faces will be very, very pretty. Meanwhile, Oscar-winner Philip Seymour Hoffman has been suggested to fill Danny DeVito‘s tiny, tiny patent leather shoes in the role of the Penguin, although we’ll always keep a tiny golden shoe for DeVito in our hearts.

What’s your take? Have any better ideas, or do you think these actors would do the Batman series justice? And any ideas as to what Ryan Phillipe’s other face would look like?

While You Were Cutting Back on Sugar Tits

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  • Mel Gibson Week continues with the release of the actor’s mugshot from the night of his arrest. Not quite a Vanity Fair cover, but the jail’s stylist should be given proppers for that swell 50′s-greaser-curl thing he’s got going.
  • Paris Hilton, apparently concerned about all the negative media attention Mel Gibson has been stealing from her, issued a press release proclaiming that she’s back together with shipping heir ex-boyfriend Starving Nachos. If the Mel Madness keeps up like this, we can probably expect Paris to light herself on fire live on Access Hollywood by week’s end.
  • Corey Feldman celebrated his 35th birthday the only way Corey Feldman knows how: playing a 2 hour concert with his band at House of Blues, featuring bikini-clad strippers, one of the Nelson brothers, drunken Ron Jeremy, a conga player, silly string and a brand new song he wrote that’s “against the war”. Then my alarm clock went off and it was time to get up for work.
  • Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson’s first installment in their series of classy wedding ceremonies took place on board a yacht, which is where Rock first met Pammy while masturbating to her Tommy Lee sex tape back when he lived in his parents’ basement.

Best Night Ever: Monday, July 31st

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It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, July 31st! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Star Tomorrow, Hell’s Kitchen, and One Ocean View!

…Of The Day

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  • DISAPPEARING ATHLETE: Nope, not A-Rod in the clutch- it’s Anna Kournikova. At least, what’s left of her. (The Big Lead via Deadspin)
  • FAR FROM EXCITING LIST: The VMA nominees were announced today. Quick reminder, the V stands for ‘Video’ as in Music Video. (Celebrity Terrorist)
  • ASTUTE OBSERVATION: Mary-Kate Olsen is 40 years away from being Shirley Maclaine. If she gets there. (Cityrag)
  • STILL GAY: Lance Bass doesn’t want you to forget he came out. If that means he’ll have to dump his bf to stay relevant, he’ll do it damnit. (Hollywood Rag)
  • CONFLICTING EMOTIONS: Girls watching porn- pretty hot. Tori Spelling watching porn? Um… pass. (D-Listed)

PROPPED: Don’t Mess With Exes

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Thanks to reader urbanoms for dropping this hilariously disturbing video (language slightly NSFW) about the practical dangers of mistreating your lady. After watching the jilted girlfriend’s rampage on her ex-lover’s belongings and feeling thankful for the well-being of your own laptop, it might be a good time to pick up the phone and tell your sweetheart just how much you love her. It would also be a good idea to drop us some more of these sweet links lest we start feeling like you don’t love us anymore, either. We know where you live.
UPDATE: The video is apparently a part of some elaborite viral marketing campaign, into whose hand we so easily played. It’s still amusing I guess, but whatever happened to the good old days when ads were all just clever slogans and celebrities pimping crappy products? How did we ever go from ‘Mikey Likes It’ to smashing a perfectly good laptop in the middle of a crowded street? And if we can’t trust the authenticity of things we find on the Internet, just what can we trust?

POLL: Battle of the Boozehounds

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After an otherwise slow week in celebrity scandal, Friday afternoon’s one-two punch combo of Lindsay Lohan’s “intervention” letter from a studio exec and Mel Gibson’s arrest for driving after drinking too much water-turned-wine confronted us with two seperate alcohol-related Hollywood bombshells only moments before we were to embark upon a weekend of our own booze-fueled debauchery. Left scrambling to ensure you were informed of these developments before we were too wasted to write, we had little time to fully ponder all the implications of these incidents, including how they relate to one another. Mel and Lindsay couldn’t seem more different, but when it comes to boozehounds hitting rock bottom, everyone is equal, leaving us with one very important question: which of these two lushes could out-drink the other? Mel’s got experience, physical size and faith in the power of Jesus on his side. But Lohan has youth, a naive sense of invulnerability and faith in the power of cocaine on hers. It’d be cool if we could film and televise a reality competition in which your favorite famous alcoholics square off and binge-drink themselves into oblivion, but for now we’ll just have to settle for a poll. So tell us who you think could put away the most hooch before passing out, puking or punching a TMZ photographer: Braveheart or Blohan?

LISTEN UP: A Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Everybody loves the song “Roscoe” by Midlake, but why stop there? Head over to Get Big, Little Kid and check out a couple more tracks from this month’s big buzz band.
  • Disco-Not-Disco has a great mix posted today with tracks by Pharrell, The New Pornographers, The Streets and more. Check it out.
  • Exitfare posted a Ted Leo demo to get you excited about his next album. I’m already there.
  • Another Form of Relief has mp3′s by The Pipettes, Say Hi To Your Mom and Destroyer. Definitely worth downloading.
  • And finally, You Ain’t No Picasso has a few tracks by Man Man, a band that (judging by the photographs), is completely insane. Enjoy.