ICYMI: Best $5 Ever

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annanicoleweb.JPGFor little more than the cost of a gallon of gas, you could have an entire month’s worth of access to video footage far crazier than anything R. Kelly could come up with on a playground in Bangkok with an endless supply of Viagra. $4.99 might not seem like a lot of money these days, but at AnnaNicole.com that kind of change will buy you a front seat for the greatest freakshow since The Elephant Man’s farewell tour. It’s hard to explain, but there’s something oddly therapeutic about watching Anna Nicole’s little home movies – it’s kind of like Prozak in podcast form. I guess there are just those days when you really need to see a pill-addled bimbo in an airbrushed t-shirt giving rambling culinary tips on the proper way to prepare a peanut butter, mayonnaise and cheese fried sandwich (with “nanners” on it, if she has them). Sometimes jokes are just so unnecessary.

LISTEN UP: A Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • All the blogs are going crazy for some new underground indie band called The Beatles. Listen to some of their unreleased demo tracks over at I Am Fuel, You Are Friends and decide whether or not they live up the hype.
  • “Forget those Beatles posers, The Bicycles are where it’s at”, said the Gramophone.
  • Aquarium Drunkard has us cutting a rug to newly-signed rockers The Whigs.
  • *Sixeyes offers a side-by-side comparison of The Magnetic Fields and Arcade Fire, who recorded very different – but equally awesome – versions of the song “Born On A Train”.
  • Scenestars has some new tracks from indie rockers Ladyhawk, which also happens to be the title of my absolute favorite 80′s movie about Medieval-age humans who morph into animals at night.

UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE: Reunited, And It Feels So Weird

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BonJovi.jpgThis summer, some unexpected acts from yesteryear have literally banded together to tour the U.S. Some of them we are welcoming back with open arms (UPGRADE) and others give music a bad name (DOWNGRADE).

Tell us which bands you’re happy to have back, and which should be sent to their permanent retirement homes.

CAPTION THIS: Carmen’s Pussycat Doll Dance

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Carmen Electra shows prospective buyers exactly what they’re paying for now that she’s back on the market.

To see more Carmen pics, head over to BlogNYC. Leave your Captions in the Comments. This photograph was taken when Carmen performed with The Pussycat Dolls, so let the double entendre begin!

It’s July 27th; What’s up?

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superhero.jpgIt’s a basic cable night. Sure you have new episodes of America’s Got Talent and Big Brother on the major networks, but if you really want to be entertained you have to venture further up the dial. Like up to the Sci-Fi network, which premieres its new show Who Wants To Be A Superhero? tonight. Not to spoil it, but I think the answer is “everybody.”

Meanwhile, Spike continues on their quest to be the #1 Network For Men (who don’t get laid), airing three original shows tonight: The Dudesons, Raising The Roofs, and Women Of Action– an hour-long special about the world’s most irresistable women. I’d say “Count me in,” but I think I’d be revealing a little too much about my social life if I did.

Instead I’m going to be watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on F/X. So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

Us Weekly’s Dark Vision of Hollywood’s Future

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UsWeekly1.JPGIf you’re feeling some late-week lethargy and need something truly terrifying to scare yourself awake, mosey on over to the Us Weekly Blog and gaze in horror at their creepy photo representations of what very young Hollywood might look like in 20 years. By employing some sort of unholy ‘forensic imaging’ witchcraft, they developed animated photographs of celebrity babies (Rocco Ritchie seen above) morphing into the grown-up freakshows they are destined to become. The creep-out results would even make David Lynch squirm.

ICYMI: Borat Joins Other Aliens at Comic-Con

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If there’s one thing we’re still not sick of, it’s Borat, the racist, woman-hating Kazakhstani reporter played by Sasha Baron Cohen (better known as Ali G.) Borat stops by Comic-Con to promote his upcoming movie, reportedly so funny that Seinfeld creator Larry David left a private screening midway through, as he couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard. This segment isn’t half as funny as most of Borat’s dealings, but his description of Kazakhstan’s most famous superhero, Astounding Woman, makes it required viewing.

Your Daily Hoff: Airline Gets Huffy With Hoff

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hoffy.jpgI really can’t stress enough how happy it makes me that David Hasselhoff has finally resumed his rightful place at the forefront of mainstream American culture. Every day is like Christmas Eve when you know that The Hoff is out there, dreaming up crazy new hijinx to dazzle and delight us with. His latest shenanigan is an old Hasselhoff classic – before boarding a flight from London to LA, The Hoff apparently checked a bottle of scotch in his stomach, resulting in a state of beautiful Hoff-like wastedness that the flight crew deemed unacceptable for international air travel. Those uptight Brits – don’t they know that Knight Rider should be allowed to unwind after a stressful morning with a lunchtime cocktail if he damned well pleases?

SIZZLER: Harry Potter Going Nude on London Stage

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Potter.jpgOur favorite source for underage nudity, the New York Post, reports this morning that Daniel Radcliffe, better known to millions of youngsters as Harry Potter, will be “waving his other wand” in a new stage production of the Peter Shaffer play Equus. I know that’s a lot to absorb, so take your time. Harry Potter will play “an emotionally disturbed boy who takes off his clothes and blinds horses,” which is now officially the greatest thing we’ve ever heard. It will also make a nice transition for little Radcliffe into the world of more adult roles involving horse-blinding and nude-prancing. First Dakota Fanning getting raped, now this… what could possibly be next?

We did, however, get a good laugh out of this eerily similar Onion headline: Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus