ICYMI: Tyra’s B-Roll is The B-est

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The season premiere of The Tyra Banks Show aired today, and naturally it was her “most explosive episode yet!” Tyra tackled the subject of racism, which as you could imagine, she is NOT a fan of. The best part of the entire episode (besides segregating the audience and besides the stereotypical observations on stereotypes) had to be the opening, though. To illustrate the point that race is still an issue in the US, Tyra uses b-roll footage of people racing. Like, in a race. Hmm. Interesting choice.

Maybe somebody should explain to Tyra that there are different types of races. Besides black, white, drag and foot, that is.

GAMES: Create Your Own Simpsons Character

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simp2.JPGIn honor of The Simpsons kicking off their 37th season last night (ballpark estimate), you should head on over to The Simpsonmaker to create your very own Simpsons character. For two reasons:

1.
You’ve always wondered what you’d look like if you lived in Springfield

  • 2. Judging by the premiere, this could very well be the most entertaining thing about The Simpsons this year. Have fun.
  • Stormy the Weatherdog Pleads for Your Help

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    Stormy2.JPGWe thought animals and weatherman couldn’t get anymore adorable than last week’s “roach on leg” fiasco… and we were wrong. Because today we became acquianted with Stormy the Weatherdog, an animal whose face just screams “good times.” Stormy is part of the CBS 19 Newsteam in East Texas — seriously, he’s in their banner and everything — and accompanies the Chief Meteorologist in all of his reports. If the weather outside is rainy, Stormy arrives on set with a tiny brelly. If it’s cold, he’s in a sweater. And when the sun is shining, Stormy dons a visor and mats his fur down with sunscreen and bronzer in an effort to teach children about melanoma safety. Which makes us wonder: What will happen if Texas sees their own deadly hurricane? Will Stormy understand the severity of the situation, or will he just keep licking his sack as per yoozh?

    All jokes aside, Stormy seems like a fun addition to the newscast. But it would be nearly impossible for him to compete with our favorite canine weatherman, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

    LISTEN UP: Totally Krossed Out

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    • I Am Fuel, You Are Friends remembers 9/11 by posting tracks from 2001′s America: Tribute To Heroes. So head on over there for Springsteen, Neil Young, U2 and more.
    • Meanwhile, Ear Farm is taunting ObL by posting tracks by bin Laden’s dream woman’s husband, Bobby Brown. Hey, at least it’s something.
    • Badminton Stamps posted Kriss Kross’ “I Missed The Bus” today, a song I haven’t heard in about 14 years. When are those guys gonna go on The Surreal Life?
    • Nerd Litter has a few Blackalicious tracks today, including the must-download “Alphabet Aerobics”.
    • Finally, head on over to Brooklyn Vegan for 14 live Ted Leo tracks.

    EXCLUSIVE: Ashlee Simpson Drops $11K, Looks Pretty, Acts Nice

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    Ashlee.JPGFine, fine. Not the most sordid headline of all time. But for those of you wondering what the real fake-looking Ashlee Simpson is like, perhaps you’ll enjoy this peek into an evening with the young singer. Saturday evening, Ashlee and her mini-entourage stopped by Barney’s New York with only 20 minutes til closing, to peruse the merch and possibly purch. Our source, who was with Ashlee during her spree, describes the scene as such: Employees roped off four dressing rooms for Ashlee and her friends, which were stuffed to the gills with clothes — size ZERO, if you were wondering. She then somehow magically tried on everything in the four rooms in under 20 minutes, all the while “looking really beautiful”, with her bodyguard standing closeby. At the end of the fitting room frenzy, Ashlee ended up purchasing $11,000 worth of merchandise (again, while being in the store for under 30 minutes), including some items for her friends and her assistant.

    And the mark of “Wow, maybe she’s not a d-bag”? Lil’ Simpson refused to have her clothes wrapped and folded, telling the salesman to just shove her new purchases in the shopping bag. Way to keep it real, Ash! Real wrinkled. Hey-OH!

    Probable Cosby: Does She Snort it Off a Mirrored Hux-table?

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    RudyHuxtable.JPGBreaking Keisha Knight Pulliam development: Rudy does cocaine! After years and years of being out of the spotlight, Pulliam wisens up and realizes a serious drug habit is the only way people would care enough to post “saucy” pics of her in “sexy” monokinis/jeans (right). A college acquaintance of Pulliam’s claims she began a steady diet of cocaine and bitterness her freshman year, in an effort to shed some child star poundage. Now, years later, she’s a full-blown functioning coke head. How Rudy! Look, it’s no secret that eh-tons of celebs use the madgy-powdy to keep all the right bones stickin’ out. But Pullman hasn’t worked in years… Not since losing her innocent 5-year-old good looks anyway. And for us this is scarring — Rudy was our fave! What’s next? Has Bud taken to the needle? Is Cockroach giving h-jobs for K?

    On second thought, good for Keisha. If only Raven Symone could take up the habit, maybe we could stand to love her again.

    Project Runway: Santino Roots for Jeff, Disses Klum

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    santino.JPGIf you’ve been watching Project Runway this season, you are aware of who the editors have pegged as “the Villain”: Jeffrey Sebalia, he of the weak-chinned and windy neck tattoos. Throughout the season, people have compared Jeff to last year’s pseudo-villain Santino, who at least redeemed himself with a killer Tim Gunn impersonation. Both of them are misfits, and both prefer shredding a hem rather than stitching one. Which is why Santino’s following Myspace bulletin struck us as so funny. They’re friends!

    So Bravo’s Project Runway 3 is having a Fan favorite contest…..
    Winner get $10,000….
    Vote for my friend Jeffrey Sebelia,
    If you’ve been swayed by the editing of this complex man, DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!
    Jeff’s the real deal and I’m in 100% support of him.

    P.P.S. Jeffrey is Jeffrey, Santino is Santino. Jeffrey is not this season’s Santino. Or trying to be anything other than himself. McQueen is not trying to be Westwood…. In many ways Jeffrey and I couldn’t be more different. Comparing us, as Heidi did in the first episode, just shows her ignorance. (I often wonder if she knows what she’s looking at, ever?) Unfortunately, I received too many comments already that reitterate Heidi’s sentiments. Jeffrey is as passionate as I am about creating HIS idea of beauty. RESPECT IS MUTUAL.

    Defensive much? And I know he did not just call Mizz Heidi Klum ignorant. It seems pretty universal that lederhosen lingerie is so not the sexy.

    CAPTION THIS! Brad Goes Berserk

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    Instead of making one up, here’s what Brad had to say about this pic: “That’s the picture that’s going to end up when I have breakdown or something … if I get arrested for a DUI later on, make racial slurs or something.”

    Well, he set it up, now it’s time for you to knock it down. Leave your Captions in the Comments now.

    Ballpark Prank Proves to Be Both Meaty and Hilarious

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    yankees1.JPGEver wonder what it feels like to be Derek Jeter on the field at Yankee Stadium? One easy way is to buy some high-waisted Z. Cavariccis and morph your face into a way handsome baby. But another cheaper, more plausible way is to follow in the footsteps of one prankster, Rob Lathan, who set up a brilliant chanting scenario at Yankee Stadium. It goes like this: Rob walked the aisles “looking” for his seat, while his friends kept yelling “Rob! Rob!” to get his attention. Soon, other strangers joined in with the Rob chanting, while Rob, seemingly deaf, aimlessly looked around for his seat. Some strangers got creative, changing the chant from “WHERE IS ROB? WHERE IS ROB?” to the more straightforward “ROB’S RE-TAR-DED (CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP).” Every time Rob made an appearance in a section, the crowd would go wild screaming his name. The result? By the end of the game, a Rob apperance would cause the entire stand to jump to their feet and shout his name. People wanted pictures, autographs, starlets threw themselves at him. For the rest of the night, Rob was Derek Jeter. We really hope he gets tested.

    Read about the prank and see fan photos here. Pure genius!

    SIZZLER: Kirsten Dunst A Bad Lay In Cars, Bathroom, By The Sea

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    dunst.jpgHollywood couples come and go so quickly it’s easy to assume that celebrities don’t work as hard as the rest of when it comes to building solid relationships. We think they’re flighty. We think that once the initial infatuation starts to die down, the average movie star will cut and run, never to think of their ex-lover ever again. Well, in the case of Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal, we couldn’t be more wrong. Those kids gave it their all. Just look at what Kirsten had to say in a recent interview:

    “Jake and I couldn’t last. He’s a stay-at-home boy and I’m an out-on-the-town girl. We tried to spice things up – we had sex in cars, in the bathroom and even by the sea. The only place we didn’t have the guts to try was in a walkway in a hotel because we thought we might get kicked out if we were caught.”

    So there you have it; celebrities really are just like us. And to think, if only they were able to have sex in that walkway, maybe they would’ve lasted longer. Like, at least 6 or 7 minutes longer (depending on how tired Jake was).