Nip slips and Conan and awkwardness, oh my! Last night’s Emmys delivered all the amusing insanity of which Hollywood is uniquely capable. One of the evening’s choicest moments came before the show even started, in the form of this utterly uncomfortable exchange between E!‘s personality-less red carpet personality Billy Bush and Entourage star Jeremy Piven, who casually humiliates the grinning tabloid trash-talker with the same smug cynicsm he would be awarded for bringing to his character Ari Gold later in the evening.
Brody Jenner and Nicole Richie– two people who are famous for waking up every morning and saying “Thanks dad” are rumored to be dating. They’ve been seen together a few times, and on Friday were spotted… holding hands! That’s a bit short of “canoodling”, for those of you scoring at home.
So what does this mean? Well, it officially means that Mr. Jenner has reached that certain level of fame where he no longer has to slum it with fat chicks. No more heffers like Kristin Cavallari, from here on out his women will be lean and mean like Nicole. So we congratulate you, Brody. Way to shed that excess fat.
I’m not sure whether or not I like Jared Leto’s dark and edgy new mascara-heavy “metal” look (I’ll always think of him as the cute-but-stupid Jordan Catalano who first stole our hearts), but something about his new get-up sure seems familiar….Or maybe he’s just preparing for a new role?
The following things should all make your Tivo’s shift a little in their tiny pants:
- K-Fed will be making his small screen acting debut! Federline will be playing completely against his stereotype (read: foppish dandy), instead portraying a thug who “hassles” people on “CSI.” We’re air quoting that last one as we assume it’s not the hit drama Crime Scene Investigation, but rather hit cable access show Crunk Stamina Index.
- Fans of people with big heads and famous parents, rejoice!
- Leslie Nielsen is returning to TV! He’s signed on for NBC’s highly anticipated* upcoming comedy Lipshitz Saves the World. *We may be the only ones to care, but we care deeply.
- In other TV news, reanimated corpses — we mean Posh Spice — will also get her own TV show, this time handing out fashion advice to unkempt Americans. The name of the show? How to Stop Eating and Get Raped in 10 Days.
- MTV’s Video Music Awards will be handing out an award to the Best Cell Phone Ring. We’re placing all our money on Beethoven‘s Symphony No. 5 as the clear winner… What was that? Oh… Fergie is nominated too? Oh. Sorry Beethoven. Maybe next year.
After goading fallen starlet Tara Reid into delivering an impromptu oration of drunken self-destruction last Thursday night, the intrepid celeb hunters over at TMZ used Tara’s rejection from A-list heavens of Hyde, and ex-BFF Paris Hilton’s painfully simultaneous entrance past the same velvet rope, as inspiration to create a little One Act tabloid morality play, telling a tragic tale about the fickle nature of friendship in Tinseltown.
If you missed last night’s Emmy telecast, fear not. We know what you’re most interested in seeing: Emmys pre-pube years, i.e. The Most Awkward Moments. The funny thing is? We thought it would be funny to string all the uncomfortable moments together… but strangely enough… it just gets MORE awkward. ps. If Clarabell Clown was in your nightmares last night (as he was in ours), best to skip the following montage. pps. If you’re wondering where Bradley Whitford‘s little moment with Matthew Perry is… it was literally too long and we had to cut it. But trust, it was bad.
Seeing LOST so ridiculously snubbed from the Emmys last night, I was reminded of how stoked I am for the show to make it’s return to my TiVo this October. But as I barely have enough time to watch my favorite TV shows on TV, I certainly don’t have the time to keep up with them online in things like “The Lost Experience”, the show’s summer-long corresponding web game whose players are privy to secrets and hints the rest of us are not. Luckily, our friends over at TV Squad have pointed us to this video reel, comprised of over 50 clips from the HansoExposed website, which were previously only available seperately, to help tide you over until the Fall.
This cartoon mash-up by GringoJ has got to be the best thing I’ve seen all day. Because not only is the animation cool and the dialogue funny, it involves He-Man, Lion-O, Cheetarah, Teelah, Orco, Snarf, roofies, oral sex and venereal disease. It’s like your childhood and college experience all at once! Check it out now.
Thanks to drzwingle for dropping this. Got something you want to pass along? Drop it now!
- AOL Music is streaming “Modern Times”, the latest instant-classic from Bob Dylan.
- Gorilla vs Bear has a new track from The Polyphonic Spree, a group of wide-eyed, robe-wearing weirdos with huge grins who sound great and still somehow manage to seem less frightening than Scientology.
- MOKB breaks down for us why Chad VanGaalen is the best thing double-A’d thing to happen since Maggie Gylenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard decided to get maarried. Maybe he should plaay the wedding.
- *Sixeyes says Beach House is aptly named and would be appropriate for listening to at an actual beach house, should you find yourself at one, presumably before it’s too cold.
- EC,EU pulls up the covers with rare tracks from Elliott Smith and Iron & Wine, and one very obscure reference to Out of This World.
We are total awards show whores. The Emmy Awards are no exception. There we were last night, bedecked in diamonds and swathed in tafetta, reclining on our beds, eating chicken wings while wearing elbow-length white gloves… it doesn’t get any better. While we found the Emmys to be a bit of a bore — who knew you could give 47 awards away to something as tiny as a mini-series — it still delivered some spectacular moments. Now, we would like to present The Evvy Awards: Best Week Ever’s favorite moments from last night’s Emmy Awards.
- Evvy for Best Opening Sequence: We loved last night’s opening montage, featuring Conan O’Brien spoofing nearly 37 of our favorite things, including South Park and Dateline‘s To Catch a Predator. In fact, we didn’t even tie in the similarities between the Lost plane crash footage to the Kentucky disaster that happened that morning, until Matt Drudge told us it was something we should care about. Look — no one seemed offended that Project Runway was nommed…
- Favorite Sutherland: TIE: Donald Sutherland and Keifer Sutherland.
- Least Favorite Sutherland: Half-sister Queefer Sutherland.
- Most in Need of a Face Shammy: Steve Carell. While Carell held it together in prime loser fashion during winner The Guy From Wings‘ speech — side note: WHAT THE EFF? — his sweet eyes and sly smile could not betray the 48 ounces of flop sweat beading down his brow/lip.
(pic via Defamer)