When it comes to her boobs, Terri Hatcher’s a regular MacGyver. Forget bras or fancy lingerie, give her a roll of Scotch tape and ten minutes and she’ll have a rack you can serve cocktails off of. She confessed to a British Magazine why she uses tape to keep her twins in place: “When you wear those complicated, low-cut dresses, and you’re 40, that’s how you can achieve perfect cleavage.” Unfortunately, when this picture was taken, she may have gotten to the end of her roll. But she did use a match, two grommets and a snap pea to make herself a pair of underwear.
Sure People Magazine has some pretty tough lawyers who’ve bullied other blogs into taking down the very first picture of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. But here at BWE we’re not afraid of a little lawsuit. So here it is: the very first picture of proud parents Brangelina at a press conference in Namibia today, with their brand new, biological daughter Shiloh. Isn’t she just precious? Yup, there’s definitely something in the Namibian water.
For those of you respectable folk who don’t visit Kevin Federline’s MySpace page regularly, here’s an update. Britney’s trophy husband, drunk with power, set off sparks on his site by demanding approval of all comments posted. Whereas once you could leave any comment you wanted, now he’s policing posts to make sure everything is K-friendly. While his fans are outraged by their lack of freedom of speech, Kevin is telling them it’s for their own good.
Here’s what he posted Monday on his Myspace blog:
if you all didn’t use my comment section to dis each other i woulda kept them without approval…but all that shit was stupid. i don’t care if you don’t like me but respect each other.
We’ve run this statement through our trusty celebrity translator and discovered the true meaning of Kevin’s word. Here’s what we think he’s saying:
You hurt my feelings when you say mean things about me. I really, really want to be loved by everyone but in particular porn stars and rappers. From now on, if you want to post a comment on my MySpace page you can write A)”You’re an amazing lyricist” or B)”thanks for the add, sexy”.” C) “You Suck Balls” is no longer an option.
Nicole Richie loses her lunch.
Pic from D-Listed. Throw your own Captions in the comments!
It’s better to have tried and failed and posted your failure on your blog then never to have tried at all. That’s what Ben Schwartz, a freelance writer for shows like SNL and Dave Letterman , thinks. This dude has been capitalizing on his failures for over a year now, by posting his rejected jokes on his website rejectedjokes.com. This month, Schwartz dropped off a whole new line-up of bombs. If you’ve always wanted to know what it doesn’t take to get on SNL, check out this video Schwartz performing his rejected jokes live.
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At least it did for Van Halen fans. And rock & roll.
Diamond David Lee Roth dropped by The Tonight Show to promote his new album, Strummin With The Devil: The Southern Side of Van Halen last night (6/6/06). And that’s… where… this happened:
Tonight comedy fans will be divided: are you going to watch Dog Bites Man on Comedy Central, or a new episode of Blue Collar TV on the WB? Granted, they’re not on at the same time, but come on- you can’t watch both. That’s like rooting for the Yankees AND the Red Sox, or the Real World AND Road Rules during their stupid challenges. Sometimes you just have to choose.
What else is on tonight? Well, Dateline nabs a few more sexual predators, Commander in Chief is *still* going, and a bunch of people who think they can dance dance on So You Think You Can Dance? What are YOU watching? Vote now!