UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE: CELEBRITY PDA

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bkisswhite5.jpgWhen some celebrities make out in! public, it’s like Christmas all over again. UPGRADE) While others should get a room, lock it and throw away the key. DOWNGRADE! Vote on which stars make PDA look sexy and which ones have you pleading Make it stop! Make it stop!

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • The first blog I ever visited, The Modern Age, has a cover of the greatest rap song of the past 5 years: Kanye’s “Gold Digger.” Go check it out.
  • I love me some Adam Green. A Plague of Angels has a few tracks off his new album, as well as the must-have “Dance With Me” from Garfield.
  • The good news: Finally, there’s a new Jurassic 5 track out and it’s on Gorilla vs. Bear. The bad news: It features the Dave Matthews Band. Maybe you have to be in a fraternity to appreciate that.
  • Watching that David Hasselhoff video a thousand times got me in the mood for some more actor/musicians. Thank god The Late Greats posted Minnie Driver tracks today!
  • And finally, today Musikoon is featuring three tracks from Pavement, three from the Mountain Goats, and three from Sonic Youth. You really can’t ask for more than that.

Some Crazy Dude Needs Your Help!

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ladysov.jpgDealing with crazed, stalkerish super-fans is part of being a superstar, but a kid from San Francisco named Zach Slow is lowering this criteria a bit with his crazy scheme to raise $10,000 in order to “go out and party for a night” with Lady Sovereign, a female rapper who’s popular but not really famous enough to warrant this kind of extreme fanatacism. Slow doesn’t seem to have a specific reason for his bizarre quest, but he’s put a lot of time into his website, raised almost a third of his stated goal, and has gotten official world that Lady Sovereign will accept his date if he raises the full amount. So go consider his strangely amusing plea and decide whether or not you want to help. Who knows what could happen – nobody ever thought Britney Spears would end up marrying some back-up dancer from Fresno.

FULL HOUSE CAREER PYRAMID

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Now that the lovable, lisp-able Full House star/ recovering meth addict, Jodie Sweetin is making a comeback, as the host of the new Fuse Network show Pants-Off Dance-Off– a series that challenges contestants to strip to popular videos, it got us thinking about the career successes of the rest of the Full House cast. 20 years after the show first aired, who’s on top of the world and who’s fallen off the face of the earth? We needed some way to compare the careers of all the castmastes. So we crunched some numbers, sniffed some markers and constructed the very first pop-up Full House Career Pyramid. CLICK ON THE IMAGE, THEN SCROLL OVER THE HEADS WITH YOUR MOUSE to find out why Stamos is on top of the heap and why Kimmy Gibbler, is lucky she made it on the pyramid at all.

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While You Were Cleaning Out Your Ears

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  • Sharon Osbourne says that Ozzy’s sex drive has been completely ruined by his 2003 motorcycle accident. I would have guessed it was the decades of massive drug abuse, or maybe a crippling fear of polluting the world with any more of his spawn.
  • Britney Spears has taken steps to legally trademark “Sean Preston”, her son’s name. She was more than a little miffed to then discover that husband K-Fed had already traded rights to the name to his dealer for a bag of weed and a FUBU hat.
  • Lindsay Lohan’s repeated bathroom breaks during a recent awards show annoyed nearby Vogue editrix Anna Wintour to the point of telling Lindsay-sitter Karl Lagerfeld to “control her behavior”. The starlet defended herself by saying, “You try staring at Karl Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour for two hours without having to puke a few times”.
  • Denise Richards’ restraining order requiring Charlie Sheen to stay at least 300 yards away from her and their children has been extended for another month. This is fine with Sheen so long as Richards doesn’t take the kids anywhere near strip clubs or high school sporting events.
  • The lead singer of Papa Roach says his band’s new album is “like a meat locker”. In that it stinks, sounds like animals being slaughtered, and will probably make you want to vomit.

CAPTION THIS: Cindy’s Signed Breast

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cc12.jpg Who knew Cindy Crawford was an Ultimate Fighting Fan? Apparently, the married mom and supermodel is so hot for the sport she had eight time champion Matt Hughes sign her right breast while her husband stood by looking on. While it appears he signed his name, here’s what we think he really wrote: Matt Hearts Boob. Leave your signature translations in the comments section…

(Picture via WWTDD)

Are You a Paris Hilton Apologist?

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paris-hilton-nipple-slip-music-video.jpgI’ve got to admit to being both surprised an disheartened by the “you know, this isn’t that bad” attitude people have been taking towards the leaked song and video from Paris Hilton’s forthcoming album. Just because your sonic expectations were probably set somewhere between “listening to your puppy die” and “press-on fingernails dragging across the world’s longest chalkboard”, doesn’t mean you should suddenly become a Paris apologist when her song ends up more in the neighborhood of “harmlessly generic MTV reality show background music”. If you think I’m being harsh, I challenge you to listen to a few more of her leaked tracks, then give me one logical reason why this music isn’t awful.

SIZZLER: Get Rich Or Divorced Tryin’

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kevinFinsuit.jpgAccording to The Sun, Britney Spears is furious after discovering that husband Kevin Federline is working on making a film about his life. The report goes on to say that K-Fed is planning to portray himself in a similar fashion as his idol and inspiration Eminem did in 8 Mile, which is undoubtedly his all-time favorite movie. While we can only hope this genius piece of cinema makes its way to theaters very soon, your friends here at BWE have managed to obtain a segment from an early draft of the screenplay, which was written by K-Fed himself and is tentatively titled “Fresno F*cking Around”. See it for yourselves after the jump!

Read more…

It’s June 8th; What’s up?

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alba movie.jpgTwo of America’s hottest sex symbols make their triumphant return to the small screen tonight, June 8th: Dylan McKay Luke Perry on NBC’s Windfall, and Drew Carey on Drew Carey’s Sporting Adventures on The Travel Channel. I’m not sure which one I’m more excited about.

Also on tonight: The MTV Movie Awards hosted by Jessica Alba. We already know that Wedding Crashers cleans up, that Gnarls Barkley steals the show, and that Jessica Alba is easy on the eyes. But what we don’t know is how many awkward cutaways to stone-faced celebrities the producers will bless us with each time one of Alba’s jokes falls flat. The over/under is 8. What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!