It’s June 2nd; What’s up?

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tv set.jpgIs it June 11th yet? Honestly, I’m sick and tired of waiting for the new season of Entourage to begin. Just bring me Vinnie Chase and Drama and Turtle and even E, and I’ll be a happy guy. In the meantime, though, there’s a bunch of stuff to tide us over. This weekend we have the Ms. World competition (which I don’t think I ever heard of before… oh well), a movie on the Sci-Fi channel called Boo (which reminds me of that hilarious Kids In The Hall skit), and the season finales of The Sopranos and Big Love. On top of that, my pick of the weekend is Patton Oswalt and Damien “Jr. Gong” Marley on The Henry Rollins Show. What are YOU watching this weekend? Vote now!

POLL: The Claymaniacs vs. The Letotics

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aiken2.jpgAt first glance, Jared Leto and Clay Aiken would seem to little in common, but the similarities are surprising. They’re both musicians known more for their celebrity than their songwriting. They’re both somewhat ambiguous about their sexuality. And they’ve both cultivated a rabidly protective fan base despite making music that isn’t very good. Every time I so much as allude to Aiken, I’m guaranteed dozens of comments from his defensive fans, The Claymaniacs. And yesterday’s Jared Leto translator surprisingly resulted in a similar response from his equally volatile fan base, The Letotics. Notice the number 1 and 2 “most discussed” posts over on the right. Now please take a moment to peruse the comment sections of these two posts, then vote on whose fans you think are most likely to show up here at Vh1 with a sniper rifle and a score to settle.

SIZZLER: K-Fed’s Kids to Sell Gorditas

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kfed3.jpgPapa Federline has revealed that he doesn’t plan to spoil his four kids. In fact, he wants them to get a taste of the real world at an early age. In his Item magazine interview, Kevin told the press, “My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is…My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit.” Strangely, life for Kevin is all about Colt 45′s. But I guess he wants for his kids what he never had.

Ask The Messiah!

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When Brad decided to leave Jennifer in the dust and procreate with the goddess that is Angelina Jolie, he wasn’t doing it for selfish reasons– he was doing it for humanity.

Finally after months of hard work and thousands of frequent flyer miles to and from Africa accumulated, the couple brought the new Messiah into the world last week… and named her Shiloh. I’m sure you have questions for her. Well, Shiloh has answers. Type a yes/no question in the box above and prepare to be blown away by her infinite wisdom. Just don’t ask her about her ridiculous name… she tends to be sensitive about that.

Best Night Ever: Thursday, June 1st

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It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, June 1st! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night TV, including Spelling Bee, So You Think You Can Dance?, and Gameshow Marathon!

…Of The Day

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  • QUESTION: “Let’s talk about Paula Abdul… did you get lucky with her?” -Minnesota Twins announcer Bert Blyleven to AI’s Ace Young. (Deadspin)
  • HEADLINE: Son hits mom during ‘American Idol’ discussion. This kid really didn’t like Katharine McPhee. (The Press Republican)
  • NSFW PICTURE GALLERY: The girls of CSI. Like I said, NSFW. (Phun.org)
  • MISPRINT: NME named OasisDefinitely Maybe the best album of all time. Weird, because I figured they would’ve gone with Standing On The Shoulders of Giants. (NME)

While You Were Canceling Your Jenny Craig Meal Order

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  • Rachel Weisz gives birth to baby boy. Not the new messiah so who cares.
  • Jamie Foxx has sex everyday for 30 minutes to keep his body in shape, and his ding-dong herpi-fied.
  • Brad Pitt was scared to death during birth. Not of labor, of impending apocalypse.
  • Nicole Kidman won’t have sex with Keith Urban until her wedding night. She was married to Tom Cruise for 10 years so she’s probably still a virgin.
  • Kirstie Alley needs to spend some more quality time with Jenny Craig.
  • Britney is back in her baby-hurting convertible. But this time Sean won’t set foot inside.
  • What do you get when you cross a Blue Man with a Playmate and a Carrot Top ? The best season of Surreal Life ever.

SIZZLER: I Ain’t Afraid of No Joe

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Here at BWE, we’ve been having something of a love affair with Fear Factor host Joe Rogan. From first breaking the story of his hilarious MySpace feud to pointing out the harassment and racism in which he participated on his official message board, the guy’s become something of a mascot to us. Now it seems like Joe’s at it again, this time getting into a fight with one of the contestants on the special “reality stars” episode of Fear Factor. Apparently stunts like eating feces and jumping off sky-scrapers aren’t delivering the same kind of ratings they used to be, because the producers are now unleashing upon contestants the most frightening entity imaginable – Rogan himself! Here’s but a preview of the action:

SIZZLER: Doherty on a Plane

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peteHe’s fought with Kate on a train, shot up in an automobile, and now to complete the locomotive trilogy, Pete Doherty is currently being detained on a plane. According to Gawker, Pete’s holed up on a grounded Easyjet plane bound for Barcelona, after a syringe was found in the aircraft’s toilet.

“An airline spokesman said the captain of the easyJet flight from Gatwick radioed ahead to ask police to meet the flight at Barcelona’s El Prat airport. Police are currently searching the plane as it sits on the runway with 142 passengers aboard, according to the easyJet spokesman.”

Unless one of the other 141 other passengers on board come clean about their mid-flight insulin shot, Pete can finally be made an honorary member of the mile high club.

BWE: Ask the Messiah

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Brangelina… the world owes you.

Now that the Messiah has arrived, I’m sure a lot of people have questions. Well, Shiloh is here to answer them. Ask the baby Messiah a yes/no question now, and be blown away by her infinite wisdom. The meaning of life, our purpose on Earth, what’s really going on with Lost… she knows all. So ask away, people. Ask away.