1. “Hey dudes, wouldn’t it be, like, hilarious if I shoved this aardvark halfway up my ass while rollerblading and screaming the lyrics to ‘Knights in White Satin’, and then I fall down?” – $28.1 million
2. Watching Chinese people fly around and do karate moves really never gets old, does it? – $10.6 million
3. Yes! Another entry into my favorite film genre, “Movies in which an idealistic teacher must use unconventional methods to get through to violent, unruly inner-city high school students”. I’d say The Rock falls somewhere between Antonio Banderas and Michelle Pfeiffer on the scale of Leadership Figure Effectiveness – $9.7 million
4. You know, someone should really re-make Top Gun, but set it in the twenties have it be a little less gay. Yippee! – $6 million
5. This flick is about two talking squirrels and one underground ant colony metropolis away from being The Greatest Animated Movie of All Month – $4.75 million
Sometimes, we here in America don’t even know how good we have it. Take Russian singing sensation Vitas — pozhaluista! (“please!”) Vitas is a mega-celebrity in the Eastern hemisphere, selling out concerts in Asia, Russia and Eastern Europe. He differetiates himself from the Russian competition by singing cutting edge punk anthems on his acclaimed testosto-albums “The Songs of My Mother”, “Mama”, and “Philosophy….. of a Miracle….” (emphasis ours.) There is a treasure trove of Vitas-related hilarity out there, including, but not limited to, his website’s gallery, and the moonman getups he prefers to perform in. Want to know what all the fuss is about? Please, watch this video and see for yourselves. We don’t want to ruin the surprise.
Something tells us this guy is going to be huge in the States… like Farinelli Furtado, or something. (via ONTD)
While the Muppet folks were busy getting their muppet panties up in a bunch over Triumph The Insult Comic Dog (apparently they don’t like it when rubber dogs have their way with Ernie on stage), Kermit and a few of his closest friends were trying their hand at gangsta rap. Check out this hilarious mash-up of the Muppets performing N.W.A’s “F**k The Police”. I know it’s only Monday, but something tells me this is the best thing you’re going to see all week.
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, September 24th! Lang is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Simpsons, Amazing Race, and Desperate Housewives!
What did we learn this week kids? Well, we learned that:
Make sure to tune into Vh1 tonight at 11 pm for an all new episode of Best Week Ever! Tonight’s drinking game is: “Things Children Like.” So whenever you see something a child likes, honor that spark in a younguns eye by taking a sip of straight vodka and passing out on your blankie.
Thought we’d always be together,
I was sure our love would last.
Here I am, all alone, wond’rin’ what went wrong.
Did we ever have a chance?
Did they ever have a chance? That’s the question on the lips of so many Americans today as the news of Lindsay Lohan and Harry Morton’s breakup spreads around the country. Two youngsters so full of promise and so full of love, splitting and going their own separate ways on this crazy planet we call Earth. Optimists will say that they are young, and perhaps this breakup is nothing but a stepping stone for the pair- an obstacle that the two will overcome that will ultimately strengthen their bond. Others will say that this is it for MortHan (if that happens to be what you call them), and that even though they weren’t right for each other, the experience of being together will make them better people and provide them with memories that will last a lifetime. Either way; that crazy little thing called love died a little bit today. And nobody– nobody– could ever say otherwise. MortHan… you will be missed.
What did we promise to each other?
What were the words we said?
Lookin’ back to yesterday,
When we started off,
Did we ever have a clue what love was all about?
You said it, Zack Attack. You said it.
I have no idea what this video is, where it came from or what it means, but it’s insanely awesome and it’s Friday and you really need to see it. Anyone who can translate it so I can figure out what the hell’s going on gets a special prize. (via CC Insider)
There are legends and then there are legends. Actors like Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando- they’re legends. But a guy who starred in Creepozoids, Vampires On Bikini Beach, and an episode of 21 Jump Street? That, my friends is a legend.
This week’s iPod Shuffler is Ken Abraham, an actor/writer/producer who sports a first-ballot-Hall-Of-Fame imdb profile. You have classic dramas like Six Feet Under, classic comedies like Ally McBeal, and classic movies about busty police officers like Vice Academy. What more do you need? Let’s see what kind of music an actor who regularly showered on film with B-movie scream queens is listening to these days. Ken, you’re up:
Ken’s iPod Shuffle
1. “Hold On” Good Charlotte
2. “From Me To You” The Beatles
3. “Lithium” Nirvana
4. “Hung My Head” Johnny Cash
5. “The Way You Move” Outkast
Now it’s your turn. Leave the first five songs on your iPod shuffle in the comments now!
Probably the best visual joke The Office has ever made: Roy‘s mugshot for an unfortunate DUI arrest… poor guy. He looks a-worlds better now!