The Rise and Fall of Adrien Brody

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Think back to a few years ago, when Adrien Brody was Hollywood’s “It Boy”. With his Oscar in hand, and Halle’s saliva in his piehole, the guy was on top of the world. A little while later, some of you may have seen a thin layer of glitter covering the ground, remnants of Brody’s star falling. But nothing — nothing — could prepare us for the item in today’s Page Six: Brody was seen “snuggling” with Ukranian ice skater/drunk driver Oksana Baiul at a pre-ESPY party in LA. While Brody is denying the claim (and you know Oksan-san is throwing a mail-order-bride fit in some random hotel room right now), just the idea of it is still quite scarring.

Then it occurred to us: Has Adrien Brody’s career really taken a turn this far south? Wethinks yes. And in order to prove out point, we’ve created a painfully accurate, highly mathematical graph, which we’ve called “Adrien Brody’s Fame-O-Meter”, to prove our point. To wit:

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CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO ENLARGE!

Is it too late for Brody to climb back to the top? Will his upcoming movie with Ben Affleck, Hollywoodland, allow him to reclaim his status as a leading man? You decide!

ICYMI: Bush Talks Sh*t

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I’m sure you’ve heard by now that President Bush, whilst discussing Hezbollah with British PM Tony Blair during the G8 Summit, got busted talking all raw thanks to the nearby microphone he didn’t realize was hot. Check it out!

Paul Scheer & Rob Huebel: Doing It In The Park

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ucb.bmpBWE‘s own Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel are hosting a FREE night of stand-up and sketch comedy at Central Park’s Summerstage this Wednesday. Todd Barry, Aziz Ansari, Jackie Clarke and a bunch of other performers will be there to entertain you under the stars and… did I mention it’s FREE?!? You’d be insane not to go.

Click below for directions on how to get there. The show starts at 7:30, doors open at 6:30 (it’s first come, first serve.) Or click here to read The Amazing Abs Of The Al-Qaeda and other rejected Men’s Health Articles from Paul. I think you should do both.

Read more…

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • My Old Kentucky Blog is celebrating his Top 25 albums of the half-year by posting an mp3 from each one. We’re talking everything from Band Of Horses to Midlake to Voxtrot to Regina Spektor and more.
  • The Music Slut is celebrating a New Wave Monday with tracks by The Smiths, The Cure and New Order. What more do you need?
  • If you’re a hopeless romantic you should head over to You Aint No Picasso and download “The Idea Of Growing Old” by The Features. And if you’re not, download it anyway.
  • Kingblind has The Raconteurs covering Bowie, as well as tracks by Spoon and Elf Power. But you already clicked the link once you saw Raconteurs + Bowie.
  • Mashups? Samples? There’s so much going on in these Girl Talk songs I don’t know what to call them. Just head over to Yeti Don’t Dance and give them a listen now.

SIZZLER: The One Where Jennifer Aniston Sucks It Up

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aniston61.jpgWe-he-hell. Look who’s crawlin’ back to the masses: Jennifer Aniston! We remember back to last year when the newly divorced Aniston refused to get together for a Friends reunion, citing that she wished to “distance” herself from her character, Rachel Green. For weeks, America fell to its knees, begging with a deafening insistence “Jen! Please! Come back to us! We need ya!” But she left us cold, dreaming of simpler days, days of easily-copied haircuts and wading through city fountains with our best buds.

But now, Aniston is whistling a different tune. All of a sudden, she thinks it would be “fun” to do a Friends reunion. Fun! She speculates that she might enjoy a Thanksgiving reunion. Hey, Jen, do you think we’d forget? Forget how callously you left us hanging? Why don’t you explain to the hole in my heart where you’ve been for the past two years, eh, Jennifer? How dare you toy with the hearts and souls of the American people like that? Didn’t you hear? There’s a war going on. Yeah – a war. This is no time to drop rumors that maybe you might be interested in a Friends Reunion special.

Oh God. What have we done? Jenny, baby, doll, we’re kidding! We need you. The world needs you! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be rocking myself back and forth in the corner of my bedroom crying with Matt LeBlanc.

ICYMI: The Real Jerri Blank

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jerriblank.jpgFans of Strangers With Candy might wonder where wacky genius Amy Sedaris came up with the ex-prostitute, ex-druggy character that is Jerri Blank. Those of you assuming Jerri was born out of sheer creative brilliance might be a little surprised to see real-life ex-prosty/druggy Florrie Fisher. In the following vintage clip, Florrie lectures high school students on the dangers of LSD, including the time she was flung off a horse and needed an emergency laminectomy, and the startling tale of a “straight-B” student nearly plunging to her death. It must be seen multiple times to be believed.

It’s July 17th; What’s up?

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fresh meat.JPGIt feels like summer. It’s hot, people smell bad, and there’s not a lot on TV tonight. Yep, we’re entering those dog days, folks.

Now if you want to stay inside and enjoy your AC tonight, what’s there to watch? Well, you can’t go wrong with Hell’s Kitchen on Fox, or TNT’s Monday night lineup consisting of Saved and The Closer. ABC Family has a new episode of everybody’s favorite belly-button-less freak Kyle XY, while VH1 updates you on the wherabouts of your favorite Celebrity Fit Clubers with a special Where Are They Now? Me? I’ll be watching the new Real World/ Road Rules Challenge and Fast Inc. on MTV. What are YOU watching during this long, hot summer night? Vote now!

Your Daily Hoff

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One of the greatest things about the Internet is all the wacky David Hasselhoff miscellany it contains. You’ll just be all clicking around, minding your own business, and suddenly – BAM! – you’re confronted with some random video you never even knew existed that features The Hoff doing something just mind-blowingly insane and Hoff-like. If only the rest of life offered the same sort of unexpected treasures….

(via Defamer)

ICYMI: It’s a LAugh RIOT!

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If you thought the LA Riots were serious, think again. Or don’t think at all.

Is this movie, The L.A. Riot Spectacular really real? I mean come on; A comedy based on the 1992 LA Riots!?!? And did they really use footage of 9/11 in reverse in the trailer? Is Emilio Estevez really prominently involved? Does Michael Buffer really say “Let’s get ready to riot!!!”? The answer is Yes. Just see for yourself.

Wow. Well, it’s still not offensive as Little Man, I guess.