I know there are rumors regarding my “breakup” with Brody Jenner. The truth is, we were never really together. We hung out, and he’s a nice guy, but my heart was never in it. Anything further is just a cry for publicity. — Nicole Richie, MySpace, 10/4/06
While saddened by the news of Nicole’s break-up with Laguna Douche, I just can’t figure out what she could possibly mean by that “publicity” remark. I mean, really:
It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, October 4th! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including Top Model, Lost, and Project Runway!
We’ve got nothing but proppers for fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier’s decision to put this Big Beautiful Woman on the runway of his latest fashion show, thus throwing down a tastefully-designed “Gault-let” to his vapid, anorexia-obsessed colleagues. Is this just a one-time comment on the intangibility of beauty, or are we entering a bold new era of fashion in which Supermodels will be caught on grainy camera footage, stuffing footlong hotdogs down their gullet whilst their obese rockstar boyfriend record their latest album lying on their backs in a post General Tso’s All-You-Can-Eat Buffet food coma? We’re not really sure, but we do know one thing – this girl knows how to WORK IT!
Forget Suri, forget Shiloh and forget the latest “SPF”-initialed future therapy patient Britney and K-Fed crapped out this month – Tinseltown’s newest bundle of joy is wrapped in Urban Outfitters’ finest Diesel swaddling, which is only befitting of a baby girl whose parents are super hipster indie actors Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard (double-voweled surnames are the new trucker hats). And you’ll be happy to know that your friends here at BWE have once again turned to our shady network of famous offspring operatives to acquire the very first picture (which has just been sold to VICE Magazine for $50, a pack of Parliaments, and a baggie of pills) of this future indie superstarlet. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our distinct honor to introduce you to Ramonaa Kierkegaard Gyllenhaal Sarsgaard. See her very first picture after the jump – and our sincere congrats to the happy couple!
Fleshbot discovered that the folks over at Gay.com have unearthed some footage from 1997 of Las Vegas’ Josh Duhamel beating Chris Ashton Kutcher for Male Model of The Year. This video has it all: funny hair, ridiculous outfits, and a Hansel-esque dig by Duhamel about poor little Ashton. “The guy… I forget his name from Iowa, was exceptional.” Sadly, the segment ends before Ashton tells Josh that he can dere-lick his balls.
Watch the video here.
How could a cable news network possibly be expected to fit something so outrageously embarassing as a Republican Congressman caught having dirty cybersex with teenage boys into their shamelessly conservative agenda? Make the pervert a Democrat, of course! Yes, on last night’s episode of The “Oh, Really?” Factor, Rep. Mark Foley was labeled “D” for “Democrat” on THREE seperate screen shots. Was this just poor fact-checking on the part of our fair and balanced friends, or did the “D” actually stand for Disgusting Douchebag Republican? Be sure to tune in tonight for Bill’s hard-hitting expose, “Amish Killer: Best Friend of the Clintons”
Could confessed alcoholic and amateur Jew-hater Mel Gibson actually be drinking in public again? Sure, it all starts with a cold brewski at a Texas BBQ joint. But next thing you know, synagogues are getting bombed, people are hiding out in attics to avoid being sent to special “work camps”, and an entire race of people is being systematically eradicated from the planet. If Hitler taught us anything, it is that Mel Gibson should not be allowed access to adult beverages, even ones as seemingly harmless as beer. You get enough of those things in the wrong Holocaust-denying Anti-Semite and you’ve got yourself some real trouble, mister.