Do you ever find yourself reading this blog and thinking, “Gee, I just love these celebrities so much. I wish I could have a piece of them all of my own”? Well, now you can – literally! Our friends over at Cityrag have found the solution to all of your gift-buying problems – a website that sells specimens of celebrity skin and bodily wastes! If you think Sarah Jessica Parker has beautiful skin, just $15.75 will buy you a sample of some of her skin cells! Ever wanted to own a crap taken by Jack Black, Crispin Glover or Burt Reynolds? Now you can! We know that all the possibilities are pretty exciting, so be sure to peruse the FAQs that address concerns such as how these samples are procured, how to guarantee the authenticity of your famous fecal matter, and whether or not the website would be interest in purchasing Courtney Love’s “vaginal fluid”, should you be lucky enough to obtain one. Who needs autographs when you can have poop?
Update: It’s a Hoax! Dammit!
It’s summertime, which means the only television I can rely on is Project Runway and The Office reruns. Then it occurred to me: I miss Being Bobby Brown, the Bravo reality series that followed the crazed antics of Whitney Houston and hubby Bobby. For those of you like me, or those with 19 seconds of company time on your hands, check out this Greatest Hits reel. Sing along to her classic tracks “Hell To The No”, “Aw Hell No”, “Oh Hell– Hell No!”, and her #1 hit single “I Am Not Doing This With Him Todaaaaaay.” (Link via Popsugar)
Sorry Rihanna. Step aside Justin. THIS right here is the song of the summer. Written a day after French soccer player Zinadine Zidane delivered the Headbutt heard ’round the world, this track has already exploded in France. It’s titled “Headbutt”, but you find any of those in the video– just a lot of goold old fashioned booty-shaking.
Now good luck getting it out of your head.
British tabloid The Mirror has gotten an exclusive picture of the young lover Simon Cowell has grasped in his vulture talons while his nearly ancient 32-year-old girlfriend is away. The world may pretend to act shocked, but camman, you knew it all along.
In all seriousness, her name is Jasmine Lennard, the 21-year-old the daughter of an ex-Bond girl who has spent nearly the last 20 years of her life in rehab. The article goes into randy detail of Lennard’s coke-addled, orgy-prone teen years, along with a heebie-jeebie inducing account of Cowell’s moves in the bedroom. It’s a little NSFW, if your coworkers could see your thoughts. Oh, and she’s bisexual, which would probably explain the attraction. Have you seen the rack that guy is sporting?
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, July 27th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including So You Think You Can Dance?, America’s Got Talent, and Who Wants To Be A Superhero?!
For little more than the cost of a gallon of gas, you could have an entire month’s worth of access to video footage far crazier than anything R. Kelly could come up with on a playground in Bangkok with an endless supply of Viagra. $4.99 might not seem like a lot of money these days, but at AnnaNicole.com that kind of change will buy you a front seat for the greatest freakshow since The Elephant Man’s farewell tour. It’s hard to explain, but there’s something oddly therapeutic about watching Anna Nicole’s little home movies – it’s kind of like Prozak in podcast form. I guess there are just those days when you really need to see a pill-addled bimbo in an airbrushed t-shirt giving rambling culinary tips on the proper way to prepare a peanut butter, mayonnaise and cheese fried sandwich (with “nanners” on it, if she has them). Sometimes jokes are just so unnecessary.
This summer, some unexpected acts from yesteryear have literally banded together to tour the U.S. Some of them we are welcoming back with open arms (UPGRADE) and others give music a bad name (DOWNGRADE).
Tell us which bands you’re happy to have back, and which should be sent to their permanent retirement homes.