You don’t want to laugh at this. You really don’t. It’s too soon, you say. The acting is terrible, the effects are amateurish and the concept isn’t all that clever, you claim. But then you watch it. Twice. And that’s when you realize, dammit, that Super Mario Brothers music makes everything kinda funny. Even this.
Thanks to tonygarcia for Dropping this (and once again insuring that we go directly to hell.) Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!
If you were closet fans of the Anna Nicole Smith show on E!, as we were, you will surely remember her teenage son Daniel. It was the strangest thing — there was his Mom, former Playboy Playmate, bit of a loose cannon, tabloid fodder and butt of many jokes. Then there was her son, who against all odds seemed like a really nice, normal teenage boy. Well, we are saddened to report that Daniel Smith passed away yesterday while vacationing in the Bahamas. He was only 20 years old. Anna’s attorney Howard K. Stern reports that they do not believe drugs or alcohol played a part in the passing. This tragic news comes only a few days after Anna Nicole gave birth to a healthy baby girl. We are genuinely saddened by the news — because, let’s face it, deep down we all love Anna Nicole. We wish her our condolences and hope that, for once, the media will step back and allow this woman some privacy.
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, September 10th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Simpsons, Family Guy, and The War at Home!
While waiting to see Step Up the other night (I positively adore films about people overcoming life obstacles through the power of dance), I saw a preview for Zach Braff’s new movie The Last Kiss, which unexpectedly made me so physically angry that I literally wanted to get up and punch the screen. It’s not that it looked like one of those ridiculous movies with cross-dressing Wayans you always wonder who watches. On the surface, The Last Kiss actually seems like the kind of character-driven dark comedy I tend to enjoy. So why did I want to punch it? Three reasons:
(a) It’s a completely shameless attempt to exploit the few suckers who are so enamored by Braff’s highly over-rated brand of psuedo-indie pretentiousness that they’d actually shell out another ten bucks to see a cynically-produced carbon copy of Garden State, leading me to wonder:
(b) How many movies do we need in which Braff plays a charmingly conflicted twenty-something trying to figure out “what it all means” by staring sullenly at us from artful camera shots until he meets a girl who’s vaguely “different” because she does wacky spontaneous stuff like yelling into canyons in the rain, all set to a soundtrack of last year’s mainstream indie rock, which Braff clearly thinks is “edgy” despite the fact this life-changing music can probably also be found in a Toyota commercial?
(c) Based on this trailer, The Last Kiss appears to be the cinematic equivalent of a sensitive high school kid’s overwrought poetry about loneliness, which falls somewhere between footage of a loved one’s death and ‘Wayans Brothers Film Festival’ on the list of things I’d enjoy doing.
A lot of you probably love Braff and will say I’m being a harsh jerkface for expressing these sentiments, but watch the trailer after the jump and honestly ask yourself whether I’m totally off-base. But whatever you do, don’t help this movie make money by paying to see it, lest we be forced to endure an entire trilogy of Braff’s ‘Emo McHipster’ saga, which would undoubtedly result in an innocent movie screen getting the ever-living sh*t beaten out of it.
Paul Reubens, aka Pee Wee Herman, must be loving life right now. First, his kids show from the 1980′s (and, full disclosure, our favorite show as a kid), Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, gets picked up and aired in the post-Y2K era on the Cartoon Network. (And while we’re disclosing things, we always though Pterri, aka “But… Pee-Wee!”, should’ve had his own spin-off show. I mean, if Frasier got one…)
And things are looking better and better for the guy. Now, Nike has commissioned a sneaker after the character! Called the Nike SB â€œPee Wee Hermanâ€ Dunk Highs, they follow the very color scheme of Pee-Wee’s trademarked grey suit and red bow-tie. And sense of humor not forgotten, the sole of the shoes depicts the event that originally led to Reubens’ downfall: A row of empty theater seats, and at the end, a white guy jackin’ it. Fans of the man and the kicks can pick up a pair sometime in 2007. (Link via The Apiary)
Watch this video, then go ahead and forget that it was even posted here. We’re not calling judgment on these Scientologists caught on tape… not at all. Maybe the cameraman DID look like a child molester! Maybe he DID commit tonz o’ crimez. But because we don’t need three wax museum escapees following us home tonight, we’ll just let you come to your own conclusions, which we hope you keep to yourself. We will say this: These guys are literally going to scare the rhea out of lil’ Suri.
Entertainment Weekly has taken time out of their busy list-making schedule to rank The 50 Best High School Movies of All Time. Peruse the list to relive all of your favorite high school movie memories, like the time your pal Ferris B-Yooler stole your dad’s car, or the time when you realized that that huge greasy dude you made out with on the beach in Australia all of a sudden went to your high school in America, and his name is Danny Zucko, and because of your hopeless devotion you almost pierce your ears and end up becoming a raging slut anyway? Remember? No? Fine.
We actually wholly agree with the list — although we are going to make a special point to say that we believe Can’t Hardly Wait, one of our favorite high school comedies of all-time — and ranked a measly #44 — should be in the Top 10. That’s totally Aman-duh. Thankfully, our other favorite comedy, Heathers, is number 5, so we won’t have to feign our suicide to prove any points anytime soon.
The number 1 movie? The Breakfast Club. That’s probably right… but did they miss any movies?