ICYMI: Barbara Still Puzzled By Black Women

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A couple of weeks ago R&B singer Brandy dropped by The View. Judging by the way Barbara Walters teased her and pawed at her hair, you’d think Barbara had never sat next to a black woman before. Well, not by choice, anyway.

I was willing to brush the hair pulling aside (no pun intended) and write it off as an isolated incident… but that was up until Tanika Ray came in today. Now I know it wasn’t a one-time thing. It’s an epidemic. And Barbara Walters must be stopped. See for yourself.

Is it time for an intervention? I think it might be.

SIZZLER: Did You See the Size of That (Kid) Rock?

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rock_anderson4_wire.jpgOur hearts are a bit a-flutter, and we’re feeling a little bit nauseous. Chances are it’s because we just took another spin on that crazy love rollercoaster known as the “Kid Rock and Pam Anderson Wedding Nuptuals Whirly-Go-Round.”

It was announced today that the on-again, off-again pair are totes ON-again, following a romantic jaunt in St. Tropez for Pam-Pam’s 39th birthday, where Kid proposed. (Sidenote: Only 39! She doesn’t look a day over 415.)

While few details about the wedding itself have been released, our minds are racing: What will Pamela wear? Do they even make such a thing as sheer, thong wedding gowns? Will Kid Rock, aka Bob Ritchie (no relation to Nicole) have his wife-beater bedazzled? Trimmed with lace? Will they order their cake from Masterbakers? Because they’re trashy like that? Or will Pam have her implants removed for the big day, to class it up a little?

Perhaps most importantly, what will their wedding song be? “Afternoon Delight”? “Freak Like Me”? Leave your guesses in the comments!

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Head over to Looking At Them… because you need more Isaac Hayes, Frank Sinatra and Tom Jones on your iPod. Don’t you?
  • IndieChristoph has a ton of great covers today, including Ted Leo covering The Jam, Phantom Planet covering Elvis Costello and Elliott Smith covering Led Zeppelin.
  • I posted a link to a couple of Girl Talk mp3s yesterday and I’m doing it again today. Why? Because it’s awesome. Swing by MyselfMyself now.
  • Pitchforkmedia loves the new Lily Allen album- what do you think? If you haven’t heard it yet, you can get a big sample over at Sit Down Stand Up.
  • And finally, one of my personal faves Ben Kweller has a new album coming out in September. I can’t wait. In the meantime, I’m going to download everything I can off of Think Tank, including a great cover of “Kokomo” with Adam Green. It’s a good day.

The Lifecycle of the Party Girl

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And now it is time for a very important BWE After School message, in which we warn our younger readers about the various dangers they might soon be facing. This week, we’re taking a look at an epidemic that’s currently sweeping our nation from Hollywood to Manhattan – the party girl.

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Phase One: Initial Seduction

Young, fresh-faced, newly-famous and still innocently untainted, you are easily seduced by a glamorous life of excess and luxury, never knowing the debasement and despair that awaits you once your good looks are finally gone.

Read more…

LISTEN UP: Gnarls Barkley “Smiley Faces” Video

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Our second favorite song off of the Gnarls Barkley CD, “Smiley Faces”, now has an incredible video attached to it. And it has the added bonus of being narrated by our favorite psycho-cum-actor, Dennis Hopper. It’s so good, it almost makes you forget that it’s 150 degrees outside and that your contact lenses just melted in your eyes.

Link via Stereogum

Separated At Mirth: Oksana Edition

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Yes, we’ve been on a bit of an Oksana Baiul kick lately. But I think what the below pictures prove is that Adrien Brody, her rumored new squeeze, is a total Trekkie. See if you can figure out which of the below people is a Klingon (Lietunant Worf, to be exact), and which is just a leetle too clingy. Feel free to guess in the comments section.

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ICYMI: Liquid (Booze) Television

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CHTV2.JPGThose boozehounds over at College Humor sobered up long enough to produce another episode of their hilarious CHTV web shorts. This edition features a fairy tale, a paid advertisement for the many uses of Solo cups and, in a genius move, a filmed version of the popular drinking game “Never Have I Ever”. So strap on your beer helmet, pretend you’re not 28 years-old, and re-visit your college years right from your computer!

Star and Al, It’s Official… Nothing Is Sacred

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star.jpgMine heart, it weeps for thee, Star Jones. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’d rather you hear it from me, a true friend, than from some other anonymous web-stalker. It seems your husband, that handsome universe of pizzazz Al Reynolds, was spotted visiting a divorce lawyer last week… Oh Star, honey, I know it’s awful. Come here, shhh… shhhh, it’s ok.

Yes. Yes, I know the media is hard on you, sweetheart. No, of course you don’t look like a bug-eyed bag of demon bones! I’m sure Al is very good to you. He bought you that purse? Wow, it’s gorgeous! And your dress… the shoes and that wall hanging? You are a lucky lady. Well, I guess you were a luck girl, anyway. Ha? No? We hear ya.

No, Star, you look fantastic. Everyone thinks so. Star, don’t — don’t eat that cupcake. Nobody wants to see you binge eat yourself to death, honey. No, Star, now, now put that lasagna down — No, not the entire rack of ribs, bones and all! Star, wait, that cow isn’t even dead yet! Star, please, your stomach — think of the staples!

Oh, who are we kidding. Cram it in down that filth-spewing hole in your face, darling. I hate to say it, but you’ve earned it. Now here’s hoping we never have to look at the two of you again.

Link via Gawker.