It’s July 11th; What’s up?

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ryan howard.jpgDo you like shows that are based in reality? Well, tonight’s the night for you.

To start, you have your regular reality shows. Shows like Rock Star: Supernova, Last Comic Standing, Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency, Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List, Big Brother 7, and The Real World. But on top of that, tonight you’re also blessed with I Love The 70′s, The World Series of Pop Culture, Dirty Jobs, and My Super Sweet 16. Fair enough. Want more? How about The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and a Primetime Special about a guy who moved to England and started a family while assuming the identity of a child who died in 1963. Oh, and if that’s not enough for you, the MLB All-Star Game airs tonight too. About the only show on that’s not real tonight is (thankfully) Rescue Me. So what are YOU watching? Vote now!

While You Were Arguing Over Computers

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  • Jackie Chan disrupted a concert in Taiwan on Monday, drunkenly jumping onstage and demanding to sing a duet with the performer. Hollywood movie bosses are already planning to turn this display into Chan’s next film, tenatively titled The Legend of Drunken Disaster.
  • Some girl went a little too wild on Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis, punching him in the face outside a Hollywood nightclub. You know, it’s terrible to see such bad things happen to such good people.
  • Lindsay Lohan is the latest spokesperson for acne medication Proactiv. Because your skin should always be clear, even if your conscience can’t be.
  • Young Hollywood stars definitely prove that, even when you’re famous, if you’ve been getting wasted for hours on end and no longer have any sense of space or time, Taco Bell tastes awesome.
  • Speaking of Nachos Bell Grande, is Greek Shipping Heir Starving Nachos pulling his ship back into the port of Paris?

ICYMI: Chappelle’s Show Tupac Skit

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Say what you will about the new season of Chappelle’s Show, but this skit (and song) is pretty great.

Okay, so seriously, say what you will about the new season of Chappelle’s Show. What do you think of it so far?

THE SHALLOW END: Eva Longoria

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I bet she has a great personality.

Sometimes it’s not easy being nice. You try. Say something nice in the Comments.

(More pictures of Eva without make-up over at TMZ)

Best Night Ever

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It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, July 10th! Michelle Collins is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Beach Patrol, Hell’s Kitchen, and Anderson Cooper 360 with Dave Chappelle!

…Of The Day

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  • SNEAK PREVIEW: The Killers are offering a taste of their upcoming single “When You Were Young.” A 40-second taste. (MTV)
  • VIDEO: Ernest & Bertram. It’s Bert & Ernie like you’ve never seen them before. (Gawker)
  • OLD FRIEND: Paris Hilton’s vagina is back on the internet. It’s almost like it never left. (IDLYITW)
  • ZIT: Lindsay Lohan is the new face of Proactiv Solution. Does anybody in Hollywood not have bad skin? (TMZ)
  • SEXY ANIMATED KUNG-FU FIGHTING TIGERESS: Angelina Jolie, duh. Like you had any doubt. (Celebrity Terrorist)

PROPPED: The Zi-Game

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zidane game.JPGI’m sure in the next few weeks there are going to be plenty of Zidane games with cool graphics and crazy sound effects where we’ll assume the role of the famous headbutting soccer player and battle evil forces– like, say, the Italian soccer team. Those are coming. In the meantime, there’s this game. No, it’s not that exciting (or even fun) but I’ll take it.

Thanks to dg from dropping this. If you happen to stumble across a flashier game than this one, Drop it. Please. Because I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of this.

What Conspiracy Theory?

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ken lay.JPGWe here at Americans for Equal Justice feel strongly that the possibility exists that Mr. Lay, like Hitler, Elvis, and Tupac before him, has faked his own death in order to avoid any more unwanted public scrutiny. If this is true, then it is our responsibility as good Americans to bring this criminal to justice by reporting his whereabouts to the proper authorities.

The people over at Ken Lay is Alive and Well don’t believe for a second that the former Enron CEO “died” from a “heart attack” “last week.” Nope, not for a second. That’s why everybody has to head over to their site and study up on what Ken may look like now with a new hairstyle or what he might look like after undergoing some serious plastic surgery. It’s not pretty, but dammit, it’s necessary.

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Funtime OK has a couple of tracks off the new TV On The Radio LP Return to Cookie Mountain. Great name, great band, great songs.
  • Over the weekend Berkely Place posted a few tracks by Turtle’s favorite rapper, Saigon. Go check out the man who got his music into the closing credits of Queen’s Boulevard now.
  • I Am Fuel You Are Friends has a Monday Music roundup that includes Sia and Fatboy Slim’s remix of Cornershop’s “Brimful of Asha.” And more… so much more.
  • Head over to Both Sides of the Mouth and give a listen to Little Man Tate. Not only are they named after a Jodie Foster movie, but they have a song called “Man I Hate Your Band.” I think I like these guys.
  • And finally, The Rich Girls Are Weeping has a Velvet Underground track today as well as a couple of Pipettes B-sides. Not a bad way to start the week.

While You Were Getting Penalty Kicked in the Nuts

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  • A British shopgirl came dangerously close to getting a jewel-encrusted Nokia in the face after failing to recognize Naomi Campbell, then daring to accuse the phone-wielding supermodel of credit card fraud.
  • Natalie Portman is apparently planning to once again allow herself to be filmed nude. What this means is she will be appear naked on film, but after said film has been developed, processed and edited into the movie for which it was shot, Portman will once again will chicken out and demand its removal from the final cut.
  • Robert Downey Jr. has a drug problem magical powers.
  • Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy are reportedly “getting serious”. Translation: Jim Carrey is tired of doing “Fire Marshal Bill” impressions every time he wants to have sex with her.
  • Do you know who The Hoff is? Well, you’d f*cking better.