Knowing that this video would end up on YouTube is the reason I woke up this morning (well that, and the whole ‘having to go to work’ thing.) Conan’s been poking fun at the upcoming Lord of The Rings musical, and this take on it is by far the best. Watch The Lord of The Rings The Musical!… as if it were done by the people who put together Moving Out (the Billy Joel musical.) It’s amazing.
Courtney Love is looking to sell a 25% stake in Nirvana’s back catalogue. And right now, the front-runner to buy it is… Bono.
So what does this mean for Nirvana fans, music fans, and everybody else who’s terrified by thought of U2 covering "I Hate Myself And I Want To Die" on their next album? Probably nothing. Best case scenario, Bono and his Elevation Partners equity company (an equity company! Bono is so rock and roll!) get a little money every time "Come As You Are" is played on the radio. Worst case scenario? He loses the sunglasses, hires Dave Grohl, starts wearing sundresses and marries Courtney Love. Actually, now that I think about it, I think that’s the best case scenario. Oh well, whatever, Nevermind.
It’s being reported that the Scientologists and the Kabbalah(ists?) are eager to win the souls of Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham and her husband, David. Tom Cruise himself has "come knocking on the door" and Madonna has done some recruiting for her side. Posh has been spotted reading Dianetics, but she has also been photographed wearing the Kabbalah Center’s "trademark red-string bracelet." I’m actually rooting for EST on this one.
Shea had what can only be described as the Best Night Ever. Thanks, TV!
- DILL HOLE: Novelist Sir VS Naipaul. He says that Jane Austen and Charles Dickens aren’t all that great and Henry James is "the worst writer in the world." Whatever, dude!
- BOUNCING TOMATO: A prop in the play Three Days of Rain, starring Julia Roberts. It made her break character and laugh.
- MEAN DADDY: Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft. He says of his children: "In many dimensions they’re as poorly behaved as many other children, but at least on this dimension I’ve got my kids brainwashed: You don’t use Google, and you don’t use an iPod."
- BORING TEST: MIT Media Lab‘s. Researchers are building a device to help autistic people determine if they’re boring or annoying the person they’re talking to.
- FUND-RAISING FANS: Weird Al Yankovic’s. They are trying to raise the $15,000 to apply to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Who deserves it more than Weird Al? UHF alone qualifies him. (Though Bob might disagree…)
Billy Joel says addiction is common among musicians. Coincidentally, this follows the insight that "making music is commmon among musicians" in the upcoming book I’m working on titled: No S**t!
- Hooters Air has called it quits after a three-year run. The service had already begun to sag and wasn’t as much fun to look at.
- David Hasselhoff baffled court reporters and officials in Los Angeles yesterday when he began belting out a German tune outside the courtroom during his custody hearing. Come on! How could you not award the Hoff full custody after that??
- Weird Al fans are collecting money to get Mr. Yankovic a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Hollywood insists he apologizes for UHF first.
- Paula Abdul has signed a deal that keeps her on American Idol for three more years. Sadly, this interferes with her original plan to fade into oblivion.
- Busta Rhymes dissed a gay fan for touching him outside a diner in Miami, whispering to his bodyguards "I hate f**king faggots man." To which the bodyguard replied, "Then stop f**king them, Busta."
Tony gets a face lift.
In response to the New York Times’ proclamation that the beard is back and Michael Douglas’s flattering new hairy look, we held a contest to see what other celebrities could benefit from a flowy white beard like Michael Douglas. And with out further ado, the winner:
Congratulations Megan! The Hiltons look hot with Michael Douglas beards. By the way I read Beard Magazine, but only for the articles.
Um…you can hire Corky from Life Goes On and his band to perform for you. No joke here, just thought you might like to know that.