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There’s so much on tonight I don’t even know where to begin. I know that I’ll be tuning into the MLB Homerun Derby on ESPN (and I’ll be pulling for my fantasy first baseman, Ryan Howard naturally). I also want to check out the Lifetime original movie Not Like Everyone Else because it stars Maeby from Arrested Development and I’ve vowed to support whatever the AD people do for the rest of my life. Yes, that even includes Lifetime movies.
Tonight’s not just about baseball and made for TV movies, though. We get a new Hell’s Kitchen on Fox, a new How To Get The Guy on abc, a new Saved on TNT, a new Kyle XY on ABC Family and so much more. So what are you watching tonight? Vote now!
Since Justin Timberlake is releasing an album soon, whether he knows it or not, he’s symbolically throwing his trucker hat into the ring to compete with K-Fed for the honor of “Worst Music This Summer Made By Someone Who Boned Britney Spears” (we don’t think that redneck dude she married for a day is hitting the studio anytime soon). While Kevin still remains the odds-on favorite, the competition could get stiff depending on just how bad JT’s new album is. We’ll have to wait and see, but in the meantime, enjoy this Celebrity Deathmatch featuring the whitest two homeboys in hip-hop battling each other for sucking rights.
1. I wonder how many “box office report” headlines made some lame pun involving “treasure”. Probably a lot – $132 million
2. Also, it’s funny no one ever questioned the sexuality of Johnny Depp’s pirate character, and he’s wearing freaking eyeliner – $21.9 million
3. If there really were a devil, I don’t think it would wear Prada. It would probably be sporting something more like that human skin get-up from Silence of the Lambs, or maybe Banana Republic – $15.6 million
4. Do you ever see something so horribly dumb and unfunny that you just want to throw your remote control right into the screen? Me too – $12 million
5. Seriously, I’m running out of gas with the jokes about this one – $10.3 million
Now I get it! This must be why everybody I know tuned in to the World Cup final between Italy and France yesterday. It all makes sense now.
I can’t get enough of this video. No wonder the dude won the award for Best Player. I love this game! Can’t wait til 2010!
- Josh Hartnett doesn’t want girlfriend Scarlett Johansson hanging out with Wilmer Valderrama. He also doesn’t want her watching Yo Mamma, but for different reasons.
- Nicole Richie is rumored to be dating 53-year-old Jeff Goldblum. And suddenly The Fly becomes the second creepiest thing he’s ever done.
- Mickey Rourke cut off his own finger because he “didn’t want it.” Ironically, thats the same thing Hollywood said when they cut off Mickey Rourke.
- K-Fed is reportedly in talks with Britney’s label, Jive records. I’m assuming they need a janitor or something.
- Rod Stewart’s fiance says she cried for three weeks straight after giving birth to their baby son. Which makes sense, because she probably cried during conception too.
What could get your heart racing with excitement even more than a blurry photo of what appears to be the newborn baby of some celebrity you’ve never met? Well in the case of Suri Cruise, who has thus far refused to validate her existence by providing us with any photographic evidence suggesting she is in fact a real human girl, you’re going to have to settle for this blurry birth certificate which suggests that, at least in the State of California, TomKat’s offspring is indeed recognized as an official human being. But still having seen no pictures, and knowing that almost anything passes for a “human being” in California, my verdict shall remain firmly on the “extraterrestrial test tube experiment” side of the baby scale.
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, July 9th! Giulia is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Big Spender, Chappelle’s Show Lost Episodes, and Entourage!
- We’re still trying to get over how cool Tak is. The general consensus: So Cool.
- Also cool: the second wave of Mac ads starring Christian Finnegan and Nick Kroll. Which one are you: a PC or a Mac?
- Lindsay Lohan delivered a couple of grade-A American bombs to the British… but not before doing her best Christina Aguilera impression over here in the states.
- Hennessy & Nike = fun to rap about. Build A Bear stores and Chia Pets = not so much.
- Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Elizabeth Hasselbeck meet an African American woman for the first time; act accordingly. Poor Brandy.
- And what do Jessica Biel, Kristin Cavalleri, Pamela Anderson and Michelle Rodriguez have in common? They were all photographed at the beach this week, and they’re all on display for you to judge over at our Upgrade/Downgrade: Hot Bikini Beaches.
Make sure you’re tuning into Best Week Ever tonight at 11 and all weekend long to learn about everything else you may have missed this week!
How’d you do following last week’s iPod Shuffle Drinking Game? Did you survive? Ready to give it another go?
Click above for the rules, then start shuffling away. Here’s what I got today:
Radiohead – “You And Whose Army?”
What Made Milwaukee Famous – “Mercy, Me”
Golden Smog – “Won’t Be Coming Home”
At The Drive-In - “Rascuache”
Ennio Morricone – “L’Arena”
Geez, I’m pretentious. What are the first five songs on your shuffle? Share them in the Comments now.