It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, July 10th! Michelle Collins is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Beach Patrol, Hell’s Kitchen, and Anderson Cooper 360 with Dave Chappelle!
- SNEAK PREVIEW: The Killers are offering a taste of their upcoming single “When You Were Young.” A 40-second taste. (MTV)
- VIDEO: Ernest & Bertram. It’s Bert & Ernie like you’ve never seen them before. (Gawker)
- OLD FRIEND: Paris Hilton’s vagina is back on the internet. It’s almost like it never left. (IDLYITW)
- ZIT: Lindsay Lohan is the new face of Proactiv Solution. Does anybody in Hollywood not have bad skin? (TMZ)
- SEXY ANIMATED KUNG-FU FIGHTING TIGERESS: Angelina Jolie, duh. Like you had any doubt. (Celebrity Terrorist)
I’m sure in the next few weeks there are going to be plenty of Zidane games with cool graphics and crazy sound effects where we’ll assume the role of the famous headbutting soccer player and battle evil forces– like, say, the Italian soccer team. Those are coming. In the meantime, there’s this game. No, it’s not that exciting (or even fun) but I’ll take it.
We here at Americans for Equal Justice feel strongly that the possibility exists that Mr. Lay, like Hitler, Elvis, and Tupac before him, has faked his own death in order to avoid any more unwanted public scrutiny. If this is true, then it is our responsibility as good Americans to bring this criminal to justice by reporting his whereabouts to the proper authorities.
The people over at Ken Lay is Alive and Well don’t believe for a second that the former Enron CEO “died” from a “heart attack” “last week.” Nope, not for a second. That’s why everybody has to head over to their site and study up on what Ken may look like now with a new hairstyle or what he might look like after undergoing some serious plastic surgery. It’s not pretty, but dammit, it’s necessary.
- Funtime OK has a couple of tracks off the new TV On The Radio LP Return to Cookie Mountain. Great name, great band, great songs.
- Over the weekend Berkely Place posted a few tracks by Turtle’s favorite rapper, Saigon. Go check out the man who got his music into the closing credits of Queen’s Boulevard now.
- I Am Fuel You Are Friends has a Monday Music roundup that includes Sia and Fatboy Slim’s remix of Cornershop’s “Brimful of Asha.” And more… so much more.
- Head over to Both Sides of the Mouth and give a listen to Little Man Tate. Not only are they named after a Jodie Foster movie, but they have a song called “Man I Hate Your Band.” I think I like these guys.
- And finally, The Rich Girls Are Weeping has a Velvet Underground track today as well as a couple of Pipettes B-sides. Not a bad way to start the week.
- A British shopgirl came dangerously close to getting a jewel-encrusted Nokia in the face after failing to recognize Naomi Campbell, then daring to accuse the phone-wielding supermodel of credit card fraud.
- Natalie Portman is apparently planning to once again allow herself to be filmed nude. What this means is she will be appear naked on film, but after said film has been developed, processed and edited into the movie for which it was shot, Portman will once again will chicken out and demand its removal from the final cut.
- Robert Downey Jr. has
a drug problemmagical powers.
- Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy are reportedly “getting serious”. Translation: Jim Carrey is tired of doing “Fire Marshal Bill” impressions every time he wants to have sex with her.
- Do you know who The Hoff is? Well, you’d f*cking better.
I love Adam Carrolla. Always have, always will. And I think you will too after you listen to The Man Show Man hang up on Ann Coulter mid-sentence, live on his radio show.
The best part (besides Adam doing what everybody should be doing to Ann Coulter)? Adam’s sidekick who asks “Why the long face, Ann?” Classic.
Link via Gorillamask.
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There’s so much on tonight I don’t even know where to begin. I know that I’ll be tuning into the MLB Homerun Derby on ESPN (and I’ll be pulling for my fantasy first baseman, Ryan Howard naturally). I also want to check out the Lifetime original movie Not Like Everyone Else because it stars Maeby from Arrested Development and I’ve vowed to support whatever the AD people do for the rest of my life. Yes, that even includes Lifetime movies.
Tonight’s not just about baseball and made for TV movies, though. We get a new Hell’s Kitchen on Fox, a new How To Get The Guy on abc, a new Saved on TNT, a new Kyle XY on ABC Family and so much more. So what are you watching tonight? Vote now!
Since Justin Timberlake is releasing an album soon, whether he knows it or not, he’s symbolically throwing his trucker hat into the ring to compete with K-Fed for the honor of “Worst Music This Summer Made By Someone Who Boned Britney Spears” (we don’t think that redneck dude she married for a day is hitting the studio anytime soon). While Kevin still remains the odds-on favorite, the competition could get stiff depending on just how bad JT’s new album is. We’ll have to wait and see, but in the meantime, enjoy this Celebrity Deathmatch featuring the whitest two homeboys in hip-hop battling each other for sucking rights.