Tonight is the season premiere of Best Week Ever — so make sure to tune in at 11 pm and the rest of the weekend for your fix. Regarding your alcohol fix: The theme for the show’s “Drinking Game” this week is… “game shows.” So take a sip any and every time a reference to game shows is made!
- Lonelygirl15 fesses up that she’s not the troubled, imprisoned, vulnerable hot teen everyone thought she was, and the world immediately loses interest. Except for Leno, of course. At least DesertedChick22 is keeping it real with us.
- Meredith Viera begins at the Today Show, and in her first week, manages to get the creepy “How’s Your Father” from Willard Scott and Gene Shalit. And Lauer is already threatening revenge.
- And let’s not forget that The Tyra Banks Show also debuted its new season this week, and featured 2 shrivel-faced, rexic-in-some-way young ladies and a literal footrace.
- The President of Kazakhstan wants to talk to President Bush about all the harm Borat is causing to his country’s image. Borat, meanwhile, will totally add you as a friend.
- Lindsay Lohan lets her caged vagina sing. TWICE.
Some genius transcribed each of the opening speeches given by the designers from this morning’s Project Runway Season 3 runway show at Olympus Fashion Week, and then set the entire collections to music (we think) from the American Idol Soundtrack. (We said genius.) It really helps understanding each collection, and makes you feel like you’re there, listening to one of the worst CD’s you own. We’ll kick it off with Laura‘s, because it incorporates one of our favorite Kelly Clarkson covers, but you can catch the other three videos after the jump. (*Our fingers are crossed.)
Is your heart beating fast? Good. Because we just caught wind of the FINAL THREE CONTESTANTS left on Project Runway! This morning, we saw all four of the Olympus Fashion Week collections, and now, we know which one won’t end up mattering. But we’re not cruel people. We wouldn’t go ahead and spoil the next episode unless we had your express permission. So, on that note:
By clicking on the following link, you agree NOT to get worked up and angry that we ruined some of the mystery surrounding the Project Runway finale… And if you choose not to click, you must be some sort of Jedi, because we really couldn’t help ourselves.
It’s Friday afternoon and another couple days of drowning our celebrity-induced pain in booze is just around the corner, which means it’s time for another edition of our beloved Friday feature, Shuffling Towards the Weekend! As usual, our special guest has shuffled their iPod and will share the first five resulting songs – being completely honest – so what we might judge their sonic worthiness. This week we’re joined by our good buddy Nate, who is the proprietor of the popular comedy blog The Apiary. We hung out with him last night at some splashy comedy club’s “grand opening gala” (where, by the way, we learned first-hand that Kathy Griffin is somehow even scarier-looking in person than she is on TV), and thought he’d be just the type of sucker whose musical tastes would be easily made fun of. Examine and judge his resulting songs, then post your own in the comments!
“Tinfoil”, Rainer Maria
“Pink Chimneys”, Promise Ring
“What Whorse You Wrote Id on”, Owls
“I’m Content With Losing”, UnderOath
“Another the Letter”, Wire
Announcers swearing on live television is nothing new. However, much like our favorite weatherman, it never gets old. Gorillamask linked this video today, of Minnesota Twins announcer Bert Blyleven dropping not 1, but 2 F-bombs during a Twins game last week. But don’t worry about Bert– he’ll be fine. After all, this is the same guy who asked Ace Young if he got lucky with Paula Abdul a couple of years ago. The guy is a Hall of Famer in my book.
Our favorite Hollywood actor, Matt Damon, made a rare and highly-anticipated appearance on Jimmy Kimmel‘s ABC Primetime Special this week. And, well, Damon really loses his cool, and curses out a most deserving Kimmel. Now, the question is, real or staged? We’re calling staged, as Damon is famous for being one of the nicest guys in the biz. But damn if he also isn’t the best actor. And also so handsome. And smart. Successful, caring… Decide for yourself while we go smoke a cigg and ruminate.
What could Pamela Anderson’s vagina possibly have said to disgust her so? “I’ve seen a lot a d*ckheads in my day, but did you really have to marry this latest one?” The possibilities here are endless.
So maybe you heard, but there was this guy who hunted crocodile’s all over the world, and was killed tragically by a stingray’s tail to the heart. We are of course referring to one of the more famous lunatics in modern history, Steve Irwin. Well, now his eight-year-old daughter, Bindi, wants to continue his legacy and go swimming with stingrays on her very own tv show, Jungle Girl. Stingrays!
No, no, no, no, this is all wrong! Has lil’ Bindi never seen Batman or Spiderman? You don’t immediately sidle up next to the very creature that killed your Dad without some serious ass-kicking! Really, Bindi, listen. The answer isn’t to show the world how awesome stingrays are. You should be joining those other maniacs on the beach and kicking the living waste out of the bastards! Eat stingrays for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Turn one into a paira’ sting-shoes! Not strap a saddle onto one to show the world how tame it is. Sigh. Hopefully your little brother will grow up with the kind of rage that puts the super in hero.
If you’re a fan of donating to causes (and our budget means we save our donations for serious gutwrenchers, see also, Katrina), but also love spending a community-college-tuition on bags, then have we got the perfect situation for you! A slew of starlets have donated some of their used designer bags for Seventeen Magazine‘s “Hot Bags Cool Cause” Ebay Fundraiser for various cancer organizations. Seems straightforward enough, but we couldn’t help but notice that the calibur of bags donated directly relates to how famous the person is. So whereas Reese Witherspoon donated Prada and Selma Blair went with last season’s Marc Jacobs, D-listers Ashley Tisdale parted with a tattered mini-Coach bag and Avril Lavigne‘s doesn’t even have a brand, just her autograph. We love that the always classy Angelica Huston went with Chanel. Then again, who are we to judge? The only bag we could possibly donate from our personal collection would be this hobo’s bindle we found under a man sleeping on our doorstep. Go and bid!
And speaking of bags, did Lindsay Lohan lie about her Birkin being stolen at Heathrow last week? Blabbermouth radio DJ Wendy Williams thinks so. Not that Ms. Williams can really be trusted with anything, but if Lohan lied, we will feel really hurt. Those Birkins can cure, like, 10 people of cancer.