According to Page Six, Andy Dick went cray-cray at the Comedy Central Roast for William Shatner on Sunday Night. Dick, who came on stage as a decked-out Trekkie, began his set by addressing fellow presenter Farrah Fawcett: “I’m going to [bleep] the [bleep] out of her. Put that in Page 6, 7 and 8, that’s how big my [bleep] is.” (Ed. Update: This was actually told to the reporter directly, and not at the Roast.) At the afterparty, Dick went on a face-licking spree, offered cocaine to fellow partygoers, and then bit a reporter’s hand… all while being suuupes hilare, we’re betting.
The NY Post reporter, Mandy Stadtmiller, is said to be doing fine, and hopefully hoofed it to the ER to get some emergency shots (with a morning-after pill thrown in, just to be safe.) We feel for the girl, but are also incredibly jealous of her. We miss Andy Dick — and she got a live and interactive show! Anyway, we’re glad to see him back to his psycho antics. Can someone put this guy on TV again? (Remember The Assistant? Comedy gold.)
Let’s take a break from all the nipple slips and Lohan vag jokes for just a moment to take a somewhat humorous look at a very important issue (think of this as that part after the cartoon when Optimus Prime makes some Public Service Announcement). Net Neutrality sounds like a boring blog-nerd term, but it happens to be an incredibly important issue facing all of us today. Large corporate telecom firms are conspiring right now to pass laws that would make the Internet a place they can regulate and charge you for, taking away the free democratic spirit that makes it so powerful and amazing. To help create awareness about this issue, three AWESOME Internet celebrities have gotten together with WeAreTheWeb.org to make a hilarious video that will entertain and, just maybe, educate you. If you aren’t already familiar with Leslie Hall Keeper of Gems, Tron Guy and Peter Pan, don’t do yourselves the disservice of missing out on this video. After you watch and the laughter subsides, do whatever you can, no matter how small, to take action and defend our right a free Internet. Otherwise, you could soon be paying to read our lame jokes about K-Fed, and that would just be sad.
It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, August 14th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Hell’s Kitchen, Treasure Hunters, and American Chopper!
People Magazine reports today that Kate Hudson and rocker hubby Chris Robinson are separating after six years of marriage. This must be one of the most surprising splits in recent Hollywood memory. There’s Kate, beautiful actress, marrying at 21 right in time for her major movie career to kick off. Then you have Chris Robinson, washed-up rock star, strung-out, swathed in burly, brown hair. We’re gonna boil this one down to unhygenic comb sharing.
We’re sorry to see the couple go — they have an adorable, feminine looking little boy together — but if it’s any indication, Kate has been looking her best these days. Perhaps a new love interest in her future? Who would look good next to Kate’s side? Is it too soon to already be matchmaking? Don’t answer that.
Pete is a contestant on Big Brother UK — a contestant suffering from Tourette’s Syndrome. While Pete is a fairly attractive, strung-out looking guy, he can’t go 15 seconds without screaming out “Wankers!” and having a minor fit. Now, censors in the U.K. are fearful the guy will have a wanker-breakdown on live TV, and are ordering that all interviews of Pete (who is slated to win) be pre-recorded. Take a look at this Tourette-y breakdown the poor guy has (warning: those of you freaked out by maniacal laughter better steer cleer.) British reality is so much more fun than our own.
(Video via TV Tattle)
Exciting news out of the Puff– Puffy.. Didd-Daa… Diddyy.. Sean Combs camp today: He’s expecting his third child! According to Page Six, Puffy’s girlfriend chose to skip alcohol on a recent vacation and was photographed in a loose fitting shirt… yup, sounds like a baby to us! And one word comes to mind: Amazing.
Why would a new Puffy baby be so exciting? Well, look at all the other celebrity babies whose pictures we’ve seen. Boring. Blah. Simple clothes. No bang, no zazz. Something about Puffy says “luxury baby goods.” A baby wearing a footie outfit made from a wholly-skinned chinchilla, with a mini-Hermes bag, and a tiny, tiny grill fashioned for a single bucked-tooth. Baby shoes preserved in platinum and diamonds. Formula made with Alize. We just cried a tear, and it had glitter in it. A Puffy baby would really spice things up around the celebrity playpen.
I bet you were just thinking to yourself, “You know, self, I’ve enjoyed all the Mel Gibson jokes BWE has incessantly been making, but I really miss those salad days when it was all firecrotch, all the time.” Well you’re in luck, because the stalkerazzi over TMZ caught Paris & Nicky Hilton, Brandon Davis, and Scott Storch on their way out of In ‘N Out Burger (Paris’ favorite, because its name just makes her feel good), and those crazy kids just won’t let the firecrotch joke die! So if you want to see drunk, grease-covered idiots getting into what appears to be a Delorean whilst cracking themselves up with a joke too old for even Jay Leno to touch, you know where to click!